xectxny19x
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2005
- Messages
- 128
- Reaction score
- 0
Girl I'm currently dating was raped, when she was 16. She's now 19. I just found out tonight. Is there anything I should be weary of or just proceed as normal?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dating a rape victim?
- Thread starter xectxny19x
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Just a Shot Away
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2009
- Messages
- 646
- Reaction score
- 19
That's heavy stuff, man. If I were you I'd definitely be at least a little weary. Something like that is obviously a seriously traumatic experience and it would have a big impact on anyone's life and social interactions. It's been 3 years, so maybe she's gotten counseling and come to terms with it at least somewhat. I can see her having bigtime trust issues (understandably) and a multitude of other problems.
I say if you are enjoying her company and she seems to be fairly sane and well-adjusted why not continue the relationship? If she has issues with the incident and the baggage begins to manifest itself negatively to the point that its putting the possibility of a healthy relationship in jeopardy, you may need to "give her some time" before she enters the dating scene again.
I say if you are enjoying her company and she seems to be fairly sane and well-adjusted why not continue the relationship? If she has issues with the incident and the baggage begins to manifest itself negatively to the point that its putting the possibility of a healthy relationship in jeopardy, you may need to "give her some time" before she enters the dating scene again.
5string
Master Don Juan
Gals that have been abused like that are more prone to suffer from personality disorders. Google Bi Polar, BPD, HPD and personality disorders. Be very wary of this stuff. It will catch you off guard if you are not fully aware. Happened to me. Know the red flags. Know what to look for. It could very well save your heart and possibly your soul. I'm not saying she has a personality disorder. All I'm saying is learn about them. Knowledge is power. Now this is just another opinion, but if she was abused once and told you, maybe it happened more than once and she just hasnt said so? Be careful!
Black suit
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2008
- Messages
- 134
- Reaction score
- 3
I'm gonna sound completely crass and like a complete *******, but don't get into a serious relationship with her. It's highly likely to not end well. Some things are far too traumatic for a human being. A lot don't recover. And you'd end up suffering if you get attached.
no one every fully heals from an event like that. I was with a rape victim and what i learned was that they are very very good at masking and concealing issues that may be bothering them. Which is very unhealthy for communication in a serious relationship.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
I talked to a girl that got raped last year...I messaged her and she wouldn't answer most of my questions. Questions like "What are your friends like?". Nothing too personal. She claimed they were "stupid questions".
Are all stupid girls like this? Or is it just because she was raped that she is insecure? I sent a hurtful message and never talked to her again, stupid hoe.
Are all stupid girls like this? Or is it just because she was raped that she is insecure? I sent a hurtful message and never talked to her again, stupid hoe.
Rape? Yeah, I highly doubt that she was. She was simply a tramp who was sorry she had sex. Sounds just too typical American if you ask me. Ask for details. True cases of rape are VERY rare. Greater chance of being smushed by a fat women in an elevator than being a victim of a random rape.
2crudedudes
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2009
- Messages
- 283
- Reaction score
- 6
Jesus Christ. I see you post all the time, (generally talking sh1t about Americans or whatever) and I see people talking sh1t back to you.BigJimbo said:Rape? Yeah, I highly doubt that she was. She was simply a tramp who was sorry she had sex. Sounds just too typical American if you ask me. Ask for details. True cases of rape are VERY rare. Greater chance of being smushed by a fat women in an elevator than being a victim of a random rape.
I usually don't say anything cuz fvck it, everyone's entitled to their opinion.
But this is fvcking absurd. This is the first and only time I will address your stupid posts:
http://www.rainn.org/statistics
Read about it and shut the hell up.
And what the fvck does being American have ANYTHING to do with this thread? Troll or not, you've overstayed your welcome here fvckhead.
Yea a lot of girls get raped, theres nothing you can do about it. I can't tell you what to watch out for bc everyone is different. BUT from my experience, girls that are raped will not tell everyone about it. I've known plenty of girls that have told me a few hours after meeting them that they were raped. Yeah this type is very much the attention wh0re type and I normally just ignore the statement because they shouldnt say that to someone they barely know. Attention wh0rs tend to lie to get attention, so theres a chance that they weren't raped rather they just regret the sex.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Whoa, everybody calm the **** down. If you find yourself getting upset at some words on your computer screen you need to reassess your lifestyle.2crudedudes said:But this is fvcking absurd. This is the first and only time I will address your stupid posts:
Anyhow, the poster's point is well-made. Lots of women claim to be "raped" when in fact they weren't raped at all. Assuming this chick was, well then she's probably got some weird issues about it. It usually makes women either hyper-sexual or sex-averse. Probably best to bone her and then leave.