xectxny19x
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2005
- Messages
- 128
- Reaction score
- 0
Girl I'm currently dating was raped, when she was 16. She's now 19. I just found out tonight. Is there anything I should be weary of or just proceed as normal?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Dating a rape victim?
- Thread starter xectxny19x
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Just a Shot Away
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2009
- Messages
- 646
- Reaction score
- 19
That's heavy stuff, man. If I were you I'd definitely be at least a little weary. Something like that is obviously a seriously traumatic experience and it would have a big impact on anyone's life and social interactions. It's been 3 years, so maybe she's gotten counseling and come to terms with it at least somewhat. I can see her having bigtime trust issues (understandably) and a multitude of other problems.
I say if you are enjoying her company and she seems to be fairly sane and well-adjusted why not continue the relationship? If she has issues with the incident and the baggage begins to manifest itself negatively to the point that its putting the possibility of a healthy relationship in jeopardy, you may need to "give her some time" before she enters the dating scene again.
I say if you are enjoying her company and she seems to be fairly sane and well-adjusted why not continue the relationship? If she has issues with the incident and the baggage begins to manifest itself negatively to the point that its putting the possibility of a healthy relationship in jeopardy, you may need to "give her some time" before she enters the dating scene again.
5string
Master Don Juan
Gals that have been abused like that are more prone to suffer from personality disorders. Google Bi Polar, BPD, HPD and personality disorders. Be very wary of this stuff. It will catch you off guard if you are not fully aware. Happened to me. Know the red flags. Know what to look for. It could very well save your heart and possibly your soul. I'm not saying she has a personality disorder. All I'm saying is learn about them. Knowledge is power. Now this is just another opinion, but if she was abused once and told you, maybe it happened more than once and she just hasnt said so? Be careful!
Black suit
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2008
- Messages
- 134
- Reaction score
- 3
I'm gonna sound completely crass and like a complete *******, but don't get into a serious relationship with her. It's highly likely to not end well. Some things are far too traumatic for a human being. A lot don't recover. And you'd end up suffering if you get attached.
no one every fully heals from an event like that. I was with a rape victim and what i learned was that they are very very good at masking and concealing issues that may be bothering them. Which is very unhealthy for communication in a serious relationship.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I talked to a girl that got raped last year...I messaged her and she wouldn't answer most of my questions. Questions like "What are your friends like?". Nothing too personal. She claimed they were "stupid questions".
Are all stupid girls like this? Or is it just because she was raped that she is insecure? I sent a hurtful message and never talked to her again, stupid hoe.
Are all stupid girls like this? Or is it just because she was raped that she is insecure? I sent a hurtful message and never talked to her again, stupid hoe.
Rape? Yeah, I highly doubt that she was. She was simply a tramp who was sorry she had sex. Sounds just too typical American if you ask me. Ask for details. True cases of rape are VERY rare. Greater chance of being smushed by a fat women in an elevator than being a victim of a random rape.
2crudedudes
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2009
- Messages
- 283
- Reaction score
- 6
Jesus Christ. I see you post all the time, (generally talking sh1t about Americans or whatever) and I see people talking sh1t back to you.BigJimbo said:Rape? Yeah, I highly doubt that she was. She was simply a tramp who was sorry she had sex. Sounds just too typical American if you ask me. Ask for details. True cases of rape are VERY rare. Greater chance of being smushed by a fat women in an elevator than being a victim of a random rape.
I usually don't say anything cuz fvck it, everyone's entitled to their opinion.
But this is fvcking absurd. This is the first and only time I will address your stupid posts:
http://www.rainn.org/statistics
Read about it and shut the hell up.
And what the fvck does being American have ANYTHING to do with this thread? Troll or not, you've overstayed your welcome here fvckhead.
Yea a lot of girls get raped, theres nothing you can do about it. I can't tell you what to watch out for bc everyone is different. BUT from my experience, girls that are raped will not tell everyone about it. I've known plenty of girls that have told me a few hours after meeting them that they were raped. Yeah this type is very much the attention wh0re type and I normally just ignore the statement because they shouldnt say that to someone they barely know. Attention wh0rs tend to lie to get attention, so theres a chance that they weren't raped rather they just regret the sex.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Whoa, everybody calm the **** down. If you find yourself getting upset at some words on your computer screen you need to reassess your lifestyle.2crudedudes said:But this is fvcking absurd. This is the first and only time I will address your stupid posts:
Anyhow, the poster's point is well-made. Lots of women claim to be "raped" when in fact they weren't raped at all. Assuming this chick was, well then she's probably got some weird issues about it. It usually makes women either hyper-sexual or sex-averse. Probably best to bone her and then leave.