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Dating a model - next steps

MountainSlide

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To everyone asking if we have slept together, the answer is no because we don't believe in that. We often attend church together. But short of that we have been romantic and physical, and go out lots where she is often the one buying.

There, everyone happy?
:confused:. Darn christians with all their non-fornicating. Typically I’d say if you aren’t sleeping together then you’re just friends, especially if you haven’t agreed to being in a relationship with one another. It’s actually kind of interesting to think of. Because your religious beliefs remove most of the components of what we’d consider to be a successful seduction.

I don’t really understand why you’re even having an issue with her going out with other guys that areher friends if she is celebrate?
 

RealHawkeye

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:confused:. Darn christians with all their non-fornicating. Typically I’d say if you aren’t sleeping together then you’re just friends, especially if you haven’t agreed to being in a relationship with one another. It’s actually kind of interesting to think of. Because your religious beliefs remove most of the components of what we’d consider to be a successful seduction.

I don’t really understand why you’re even having an issue with her going out with other guys that areher friends if she is celebrate?
Before I got married, I used many seduction techniques with great success, minus the sex. (One of them even married me). It works getting a woman enamored with and exclusively committed to you whether the sex is there or not, so I don't gauge success on those grounds alone.

The issue now is either moving ahead, or moving on.
 

MountainSlide

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Before I got married, I used many seduction techniques with great success, minus the sex. (One of them even married me). It works getting a woman enamored with and exclusively committed to you whether the sex is there or not, so I don't gauge success on those grounds alone.

The issue now is either moving ahead, or moving on.
Just to clarify. Your main issue currently is that she’s hanging out with other dudes and this is causing you to consider moving on?
 

BeExcellent

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Ok. You are 49 according to your profile. Y’all are not having sex due to your beliefs. Got it.

How old is she? Has she ever been married? Is she a virgin?

There are people with strong beliefs around here so your belief system isn’t the issue people have....

But something seems to bother you about her behavior. Do you not trust her? Do you not trust other men around her?

As you must know the entertainment industry is a very very tough industry to remain chaste in. Not impossible but very difficult. Temptation everywhere and smooth talkers everywhere too.

My ex spouse was in the nightclub business and before dating my husband I dated a professional male model. Great guy but absolutely the most neurotic man I’ve ever known. Fashion modeling can really mess people up because it is SO shallow and with a handful of exceptions shelf life is SO short lived.

And no I could care less if there’s a big age gap (Yay for you if there is)...but something specific seems to bug you.

Is she transparent about what she does & who she sees? Does she include you or bring you around?
 

bcude

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To everyone asking if we have slept together, the answer is no because we don't believe in that. We often attend church together. But short of that we have been romantic and physical, and go out lots where she is often the one buying.

There, everyone happy?
You don't believe in that. She works in the entertainment business, she's a model and "very friendly, outgoing and positive" and hangs around alot of dudes. Sorry to say this, she's having s3x, just not with you. Which makes you a friend.
 

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RangerMIke

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I have dated two professional models in my life. One in the mid-90s, was in Playboy, the other is one now, that is kind of an off and on... currently off, she does mostly advertising, but photographers do hire her for artistic shots, no nudes as far as I know, mostly clothes, jewelry, vacation destinations.

If you can't deal with dudes sniffing around hitting on her, sending her d1ck pics... also the occasional rich dude trying to buy her... then you need to just walk away. Because that is part of the 'job'. I know it's a small sample size (two) but both were even more flaky than a regular chick. Neither was particularly good in bed, both were also really smart and not at all risk averse. They were/are both very susceptible for cons... especially dumb@ss business ideas. The one I know now, just got involved in a project with another chick to design and make really horrible looking Marti Gras costumes... but this is just one in a long series of 'business' ventures she gets into that lasts for a few months then fizzles out.

Now when she says these dudes do not mean anything to her, you should believe her. They really do not care about their fans, in fact they are sometimes afraid of them. They like the attention, and interest equals money... they care about them about as much as a store owner cares about potential customers, you want them in your store... but you always have to be on the lookout for shop lifting.... they are important to profitability, but the emotion stops there. They also know their window of opportunity is small, that when looks go, they'll just be another younger chick that steps up. so they do want to leverage whatever advantage when they can... that means you take a back seat to fvcking everything, they will get a call in the middle of dinner to show up in Costa Rica the next morning... and you have to be okay with ending the date and getting her home... then not hear from her for a couple of weeks.

The first one I dated for 6 months... actually that was much longer than most last, and we maintained contact and she is still modeling even though she is in her late 40s now and still looks pretty good... otherwise I have no idea how her life is going. The one I see now off and on, drifts in and out, is the flakiest chick I have ever met in my life... and that says a lot. I stopped trying to make dates with her because it's just no fun wondering if plans made will actually happen... Since she is involved with a non-profit that I work with, I happen to run into her every few months... we'll meet... and if she isn't dating some dude with more money than brains, she'll invite me over for sex... then we'll bounce around for a few weeks... then she starts flaky sh!t and I walk away. She always drifts back in because she knows I'm not some butt hurt fan, or relationship dude trying to lock her down, we can have some fun and when her emotions drift in another direction, I'm okay with that.

As far as women go, models are fine, they are just like every other chick you will meet, but they get a lot more validation from dudes than regular women... their lives, when they are active in the biz is chaotic... they always have to have bag packed and ready to go when their agent calls. You, the man take a back seat. The problem is if you are okay with being in the back seat... waiting around on her, she loses interest in you REALLY fast. The one I'm on/off with has literally been in 5 'relationships' with men in the last 3 years that lost themselves with her... one is actually in jail for raping her when she tried to break up with him.... The last time we were hot and heavy, she only wanted to meet me at her place because she had just broken things off with a dude that was following her around. You MUST have a great deal of emotional self control if you are going to try and date a model... and you have to be flexible without coming off as weak... this is really hard to do.
 

gravityeyelids

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Idk man - it honestly sounds like you're putting her on a pedestal and losing your frame because you're too enamoured by the fact that she is a model and hot. Stop with that HB11 sh!t. She's another girl and should be treated as such. So shes a little cuter than the others - don't let it get to your head. Who cares if she's a model? Everyone and their mother is a model these days. Girls make like $100 in side income from modeling and then they paste it all over their socials and act like it's their career. And for God sake stop asking about the other people she's seeing - she can tell it bugs you. Don't let it phase you - you're both single. Wanna know how to get her to stop dating other guys so much and be more obsessed with you? Tell her to go out and have fun on her dates.

Sorry dude but i can almost guarantee she is getting d!ck somewhere else. I'm not as horribly cynical as a lot of the people here, but I do think she is. You're naive if you think these dates are purely business related. She is a human and she is attracted to high value men.

Treat her like any other girl - pull back and fvck other women. You guys aren't exclusive so don't act like it. Let her do what she wants, and in turn, you do what you want. The whole celibacy thing is honestly rare on this sub and i'm not sure how to address it. My gut reaction is that you are at a HUGE disadvantage if you're not putting your d!ck in her. You're also at a huge disadvantage with other women. You need to be spinning plates but that's kind of hard when you won't sleep with them.
 

biggoal

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Idk man - it honestly sounds like you're putting her on a pedestal and losing your frame because you're too enamoured by the fact that she is a model and hot. Stop with that HB11 sh!t. She's another girl and should be treated as such. So shes a little cuter than the others - don't let it get to your head. Who cares if she's a model? Everyone and their mother is a model these days. Girls make like $100 in side income from modeling and then they paste it all over their socials and act like it's their career. And for God sake stop asking about the other people she's seeing - she can tell it bugs you.

Sorry dude but i can almost guarantee she is getting d!ck somewhere else. I'm not as horribly cynical as a lot of the people here, but I do think she is. You're naive if you think these dates are purely business related. She is a human and she is attracted to high value men.

Treat her like any other girl - pull back and fvck other women. You guys aren't exclusive so don't act like it. Let her do what she wants, and in turn, you do what you want. The whole celibacy thing is honestly rare on this sub and i'm not sure how to address it. My gut reaction is that you are at a HUGE disadvantage if you're not putting your d!ck in her. You're also at a huge disadvantage with other women. You need to be spinning plates but that's kind of hard when you won't sleep with them.
Do guys put women on a pedestal too much and worship them that it all goes to their heads and women get the snobby attitudes from it.
 

jaymbrs

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Do guys put women on a pedestal too much and worship them that it all goes to their heads and women get the snobby attitudes from it.
Not 49 year olds. No one puts them on pedestals.
 

stringpuller

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Here's the situation. Got divorced last year, after that started seeing a professional model that I'd known for a number of years. She and I had a working relationship when I was married, and while that has continued it has progressed to more than that. (She is not the reason for the divorce!!)

When I say she's a model, I'm not making it up. She very much looks the part and has men drooling over her everywhere. Problem is while she spends lots of time with me, it's not exclusive to me. She will go out on "dates" (though she doesn't look at it that way) with other guys. She said she has no romantic interest in them and considers it professional opportunities / entertainment industry stuff. I have objected to this, but she hasn't heeded them. So I decided to force her hand on it, so to speak -- I've started restricting my available time and attention with her, and she has immediately noticed it. She asked why I'm suddenly so "distant." I'm making myself scarce with her, and she's not liking it. But the goal is to get her to buy in 100% with me, or move on.

Question -- Do I tell her why I'm backing off time with her, or or not, or (give her an ultimatum), or do something else?
Tell her your busy. Do not let her know you are gauging her attraction levels. God created game bro. Dont forget that
 

RealHawkeye

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UPDATE -- Since I've pulled back, she's noticed it and her behavior is very different. She came by my office, really wants to talk, wants to know what's up and how I'm doing, invited me to a number of things with her, lots of affection, tell me she loves me, etc.

No doubt pulling back 'works.' Question is, how many things she has invited me to should I accept? Half?
 

stringpuller

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UPDATE -- Since I've pulled back, she's noticed it and her behavior is very different. She came by my office, really wants to talk, wants to know what's up and how I'm doing, invited me to a number of things with her, lots of affection, tell me she loves me, etc.

No doubt pulling back 'works.' Question is, how many things she has invited me to should I accept? Half?
If you feel she is in your frame or compliant reward her.
I urge you if you have not already done so..get a copy of The Rational Male by Rollo Tamassi.
It will answer a lot of question for you about women.
 

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