Dating a girl, Sort of went cold,text game issue?

[Tesl]

Good point, that would have been a lot more smooth. Anyways it went like this i called her, she didnt answer. got a text saying "Hey! im at the library can i call you back in 30 mins or so?". I didnt respond. Two hours later she calls, im alseep at this point, so didnt pick up. I call the next day, she doesnt answer, but i found out she was at work.

Thennnn

The next day i call again, she picks up. We have a great 20 minute convo about my injury. During the whole phone call she is laughing at pretty much every joke/witty remark i make. She told me that she has been swamp with her pre-med stuff. She started explaining some of the bio homework she was doing and i drop some negs saying " wow ur such a nerd". Towards the end of the convo i say the pizza guy is here and i ahve to go, and that me and my friends are going downtown to the bars (where she works) this weekend and i might pop in. She says great! i will text you if im working that night. Then end of convo.

I think it went really well, she said that she has two tests monday and that after she should be more free.

So basically, her texting me after my call, then returning my call, her laughing at everything i say, her indicating she would be more open next week= Im in good shape.

I will either text or call her on monday potentially saying something like " Hey ___ if we don't hang out soon , im going to consider cheating on you" or something like " Thursday night after work im going to need a drink, you can tag along."

Even though it has been a while since our last date, i think it was pretty legit due to midterms and her major as pre-med. Im still gonna go out and "spin plates" until its locked down. Next date im gonna F-close and potentially get a GF out of it. Ive got a great text ive been saving to send her after our next date saying "You really impressed me tonight, and i dont impress easy" which i think shows high value.

Since you haven't even had the date yet, I don't think it shows particularly high value to have already decided to be impressed You should send that if she actually impresses you! Which she may not...

Anyway, sounds like you are doing fine - just keep up with the calling and less of the texting. I'd try and avoid 20 minute long conversations about things too, you aren't one of her girlfriends.

 

[Thundernuts]

yeah man don't get into txting to much, its too easy to screw things up and looking needy. Just call her every once and awhile when you want to talk, if she doesn't answer just wait for her to initiate contact.

Sounds like you got yourself back on the right track but don't get to needy on her, remember life does happen so don't b!tch about it.

 

[Moof]

i might get ripped up for this but ohhwell. Its been 4 days since our phone convo. Sent a text to her today (3 hours ago) saying " Hey ____, hope u killed them tests today. We need to hangout soon, otherwise im going to have to start cheating on you. Keep thursday open!"

So no response yet, prolly not going to get one. Im not going to text her again. suprised tho, we hit it off so well. Doesnt matter tho, i had a girl all over me this weekend. Im going to start gaming her.

 

[Falcon25]

That text is horrible. Cheating on who? She's not your girlfriend, not your wife, you have nothing with her. That is really bad. She was probably laughing at it, asking herself why you think she cares.

 

[f283000]

That text is horrible. Cheating on who? She's not your girlfriend, not your wife, you have nothing with her. That is really bad. She was probably laughing at it, asking her self why you think she cares.

Agreed and I know too well the type of text this is. This is the classic c&f text done totally wrong where you try to make yourself look good with c&f with a girl that you know has lost interest in you. You're trying to rescue a lost cause over text when you know she has probably lost all attraction for you.

I admit I've done this many times after killing attraction with girls that were attracted to me at one time, and I found myself trying to rescue my chances by sending c&f texts thinking i would be re-creating attraction and maybe winning them back. The only thing I was doing was losing my dignity.

 

[sux2bu]

Find a girl that doesn't have a cell or facebook. Good luck!

 

[Zarky]

WTF, texting is how it's done these days for all women under age 40. That's just how it is.

She's got another man (men).

This is the correct answer. It's nothing you did, your texts weren't that bad. Happens all the time. Couple of years ago I was banging this chick hot and heavy for about 2 weeks. Awesome sex. Then one day she just disappeared, had found another dude. Nothing you can do, other than the following:

Date multiple women, always

Been watching this show where these truckers drive crazy ass mountain roads in India that are constantly having trucks fall off the side. Sometimes the truckers do everything right but there's a rockslide and their truck goes over and they die. They didn't make any errors but they lost anyway. Relationships are like this sometimes.

When women just suddenly lose interest and/or stop communicating, 99% of the time it's because some other guy captured their attention. Some other guy that you probably didn't even know was around.

 

[Falcon25]

Zarky is correct, hope he read my thread on this in the other forum. 99.5% percent of the time it's another man. Zarky is my age about, and he has seen this fly by pattern before.

 

[saab1981]

I can see what you tried with the c+f texting dude, but it's probably likely to backfire badly. Most important thing here is to judge her by her actions and not what she says - women flake ALL the time, one day they want you to bang them senseless, and the next they go totally silent on you. There's just no realy logic to their way of thinking in matters of this kind. With texting too, it's such a fine line between being funny and charming to being desperate and/or creepy, or too damn ****y! Trust me, I've been there. She'll let you know and 'open doors' for you if she's genuinely, genuinely interested. They usually always do.

I have done this many times too - where a chick with 100% interest level has plummeted, like, literally overnight to 0% - and you know what, it was always another guy - always! (whether an ex / current bf / fb etc). Either she is with a guy already and feels guilty about what she is doing, she's met a new guy, or got back with ex (convenience?).

In my AFC days, I made the fatal mistake of trying to 'win' back what I never really had in the first place with c+f texts, vague offers to meet up at a non-specified place and date - and only when I read them back did I literally cringe with embarassment at what I had written - but by then it's normally waaay too late to retrieve the situation. She'll be with the other guy/guys (whatever!), and you can end up frustrated if you analyse it too much and chew it over in your head- so please don't, just throw yourself at activities as much as you can.

But what the hell, you did all you could, with the best of intentions, but trying to make a chick 'like' you after her IL has plummeted, will rarely, if ever work. It's got to work both ways. Just work your stuff on as many women as you can and you're bound to get results. Peace out..

 

[Moof]

Word

i will not contact again. Even if she responds i prolly wont. Alreadyy workin on another girl.

I understand totally, had to be other guy.

Just funny how she pursued me hardcore And then just disconnects.. Girls for u. I will be more aware next time. Thanks for the reality check.

 

[Moof]

Yo so after about a day and a half she texted me early this morning saying "heyy, hows it going?". I havent responded yet. I was wondering if i even should and if you think so what should i say.

 

[JLW]

I would ignore this one. Maybe if she texts again consider responding saying:

"really busy and don't have time to talk lately. Maybe we can talk later."

And then don't bother talking to her.

If she is persistent in speaking with you maybe give her another shot.

That's just my opinion. I wouldn't pursue or chase this girl like you have been. Make her chase you. And if she doesn't chase you then just forget about it altogether.

 

[bam bam]

Even tho she is a club waitress, she is classy and in no way skanky.

Cheers

Sorry bud,

but your delusional. She's a waitress in a club for a reason you dont make tips because your classy and elegant at clubs. :nono:

Woman I find go cold for only one reason. Another man has filled your place in their life. You could give it another go but I would advice against that. Simple even if she forgot to respond later to your text. She should still remember you because you two have been out 6x and made out.

Dont keep chasing like a mad man. Play her game on her... dont text her back if you want wait for a week then text her back... but i'd toss in the towel... who's got time for these games with club chicks...

Women make it really easy to get together with them if the IL is high. Confusion in the dynamic increases as IL drops or they could just be a basket case which would cause confusion as well.

A quick side note: Any time I've found that you over commit to any one woman with this much effort that you've presented to this one. Usually it's a disaster in disguise! Your thinking about her too much, you can't control yourself, and you've got her on a pedestal. Run for the hill before this woman consumes your consciousness. ONITIS comes from this exact type of dynamic. You fail to see the signs of IL and keep projecting HIL on her towards you with these signs of a response text or a small convo. Wont even mention the fact you see her as a gf and you dont even know her. (Which is really messed up) Drop the chicken head and go back to the basics. You my friend have some foundational work to get done with yourself before you go off chasing women.

cheers

 

[Moof]

Noted

im not contactin her back. As mentioned earlier that if she chases me illl give it another go. I put her on a bit of a pedestal because she is the hottest ive dated. But as i said i got anothe girl in the pipes that has been textin. This has been a good learning experience

 

[bam bam]

No go! DROP HER! You cannot control yourself around her. Can you hear me MOOF!!!!! If you cannot control yourself in a way which you keep your respect then you should not by around this woman. She will only do harm to you in the long run. If at any point your unable to walk away from a woman you should not be around that woman. This will only lead to heavy hurting and a very unbalanced relationship.

What do you think would happen if you got laid with her? and she became your gf? She treated you like **** what would you do? You can't next her here and she's disrespecting you. Do you really think it's gonna get easier the more you invest?

Also another side note. Your definition of chase is probably not quiet the definition of chase. It's more aligned with the definition of shows me slight interest. aka text you an extra time or calls you once.

 

[jophil28]

Moof, looking way way back at my student days I am totally grateful that I did not have a cell phone, email, Xbox , Wii or a laptop with webcam.
All I had was a beatup old VW, and a penny jar full of change to use in the payphone in the hall.
Back then there were no "game" tutorials , no online advice or SS forums, however, inspite of these handicaps I had as much pxssy as I wanted.

I just set dates up and then picked up those chicks in my VW minibus..
I never went on "hang out" dates, and I learned early that asking women to "meet me there " was a 99% guarantee that she will probably not show up.

Keep it simple, stupid.

You lost control of the connection that you were building with her because you stopped leading and substituted texting.

 

[Zarky]

Moof, looking way way back at my student days I am totally grateful that I did not have a cell phone, email, Xbox , Wii or a laptop with webcam.
All I had was a beatup old VW, and a penny jar full of change to use in the payphone in the hall.
Back then there were no "game" tutorials , no online advice or SS forums, however, inspite of these handicaps I had as much pxssy as I wanted.

I just set dates up and then picked up those chicks in my VW minibus..
I never went on "hang out" dates, and I learned early that asking women to "meet me there " was a 99% guarantee that she will probably not show up.

Keep it simple, stupid.

You lost control of the connection that you were building with her because you stopped leading and substituted texting.

Keep in mind this is the 21st century. Using tactics from 1965 probably isn't going to get you very far, unless you're dating 50 year olds. Women under the age of 35 don't like talking on the phone. It's all texting these days. I'm meeting up for a first "date" with a 26 year old tonight.. never heard her voice, only emails and texts. I have a feeling if I'd pushed talking on the phone it would have scared her off.

 

[terran2k]

Keep in mind this is the 21st century. Using tactics from 1965 probably isn't going to get you very far, unless you're dating 50 year olds. Women under the age of 35 don't like talking on the phone. It's all texting these days. I'm meeting up for a first "date" with a 26 year old tonight.. never heard her voice, only emails and texts. I have a feeling if I'd pushed talking on the phone it would have scared her off.

how sad, i feel bad for you.

 

[f283000]

Keep in mind this is the 21st century. Using tactics from 1965 probably isn't going to get you very far, unless you're dating 50 year olds. Women under the age of 35 don't like talking on the phone.

I must be living in another planet then because all I see when I walk the streets is young girls talking on their cell phones

Let me fix what you said, it's not that women don't like talking on the phone, it's just that men are afraid of talking to women on the phone!

Notice what I put in bold. It's an extension of the lack of confidence men have in themselves when dealing with women. You can't expect most men who couldn't approach a random cute girl in the street if their life depended on it to be able to have a conversation with them over the phone.

It's part of the learning experience to becoming more confident and aggressive when it comes to women. I ruined things with 5 women due to texting and all of them had chosen me. I love texting friends don't get me wrong but the chances of getting burned with texting women are too high, and it doesn't create attraction as compared to a woman listening to your voice and getting it implanted in her head.

 

[Zarky]

It's silly to tell men to "never text." Probably 3/4 of the lays I've had in the past 3 years I didn't even hear the girl's voice until the first time I saw her.

how sad, i feel bad for you.

I feel bad for your inability to refute my argument