"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Date Straight From Work?

Don Alfredo

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Success! I have a first date on Monday night next week. Nothing fancy - evening coffee/glass of wine. I have two options:

1) Come straight from work. I have meetings scheduled so I'll be wearing a suit and tie. I do look good in a suit, but don't want her to feel like she's just turned up for a job interview. At the same time, it would give the impression of meeting her on my way home which would keep it light and put a natural feel of a limited meeting which is good for a first date.

2) Go home and change first. This would give me chance to freshen up, but also should I turn up to weeknight date in casual shirt and jeans?

Having trouble reading this one, so which should I go for? My date is travelling into the city, so might well be coming from work too. I don't want to overdress potentially, nor underdress and make her feel "too professional". What usually works for weeknight dates, and do the girls usually turn up in business wear? I usually try for a weekend for dates so this isn't usually a consideration, but not possible this time and want to go for it now to follow up on recent interest.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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HyperAnalyze

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That's pretty far in advance. Sounds like she's got a bit of age on her as well as yourself.

Don't think so much about what to dress like. Or think at all about impressing her. You are the catch. Whatever you DO, GOES. It's your reality.

Come in with a suit. You are classy and well-dressed well mannered.

Come in with a casual jean and shirt. You are down to earth and enjoy the comfort of easy going clothes.

It doesn't matter specifically what you do. As long as you believe in what you are doing.
 

denverfan110

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I say go with the suit.

I actually did this with my current plate on our first date during the summer. She was dressed super casually (but nicely) and I met her in a suit and slacks coming straight from work. I didn't even bring up the fact that she was underdressed.

I just left the topic undiscussed (but she did end up telling me a few weeks later when we were talking about it that she thought I looked really good in the suit and it was certainly a positive for our first encounter).

I'd rather be overdressed than underdressed any day of the week.
 

Alvafe

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I would go with the suit too you can even take the tie off when you are around her to see you are relaxing now after a day at work, but still in any case you shouldn't care much and jsut do your thing
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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