"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Date Straight From Work?

Don Alfredo

Don Juan
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Success! I have a first date on Monday night next week. Nothing fancy - evening coffee/glass of wine. I have two options:

1) Come straight from work. I have meetings scheduled so I'll be wearing a suit and tie. I do look good in a suit, but don't want her to feel like she's just turned up for a job interview. At the same time, it would give the impression of meeting her on my way home which would keep it light and put a natural feel of a limited meeting which is good for a first date.

2) Go home and change first. This would give me chance to freshen up, but also should I turn up to weeknight date in casual shirt and jeans?

Having trouble reading this one, so which should I go for? My date is travelling into the city, so might well be coming from work too. I don't want to overdress potentially, nor underdress and make her feel "too professional". What usually works for weeknight dates, and do the girls usually turn up in business wear? I usually try for a weekend for dates so this isn't usually a consideration, but not possible this time and want to go for it now to follow up on recent interest.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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HyperAnalyze

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That's pretty far in advance. Sounds like she's got a bit of age on her as well as yourself.

Don't think so much about what to dress like. Or think at all about impressing her. You are the catch. Whatever you DO, GOES. It's your reality.

Come in with a suit. You are classy and well-dressed well mannered.

Come in with a casual jean and shirt. You are down to earth and enjoy the comfort of easy going clothes.

It doesn't matter specifically what you do. As long as you believe in what you are doing.
 

denverfan110

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I say go with the suit.

I actually did this with my current plate on our first date during the summer. She was dressed super casually (but nicely) and I met her in a suit and slacks coming straight from work. I didn't even bring up the fact that she was underdressed.

I just left the topic undiscussed (but she did end up telling me a few weeks later when we were talking about it that she thought I looked really good in the suit and it was certainly a positive for our first encounter).

I'd rather be overdressed than underdressed any day of the week.
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
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I would go with the suit too you can even take the tie off when you are around her to see you are relaxing now after a day at work, but still in any case you shouldn't care much and jsut do your thing
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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