"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Dance Tips anyone have?

ReT

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Hey guys, I went clubbing for the 2nd time in my life, I did ok dancing, but does anyone have any paticular moves to get me noticed on the dancefloor, besides boping my head and swinging back an forth or jumping around lol.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Heyjose25points

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Try grinding the girls?

If not, then my suggestion would be to take a salsa class or a hip hop class, as it teaches you how to dance to a rhythm. Plus its fun. I think one guy from one of the clubbing threads in the DJ bible said that a swing class definitely is another good class to take. Plus if you see a guy who's a good dancer at a club, ask him what he does. But the more and more you learn about dancing to rhythm, you should be able to dance to just about anything, except for break dancing, which takes a WHOLE lot of practice in itself. Good luck bro. That reminds me, i need to keep up with salsa, starting to forget some of the moves. :eek:
 

Le Parisien

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Yeah try to grind with the girls.
But don't be sleazy that would make you look desperate.
And don't get to much into it, watch out the attentionwh*res who can't enjoy more than seeing you leave the club with blueballs.

Concerning the dance moves, I think dance is something you like or not like, can't force yourself to dance if you don't like it. Don't necessarily need classes for that. I learned all my break dance moves when out clubbing.:cool:
If you want to take classes, make sure that you ENJOY dancing, if it's just a calculation in order to get girls, DON'T do it.

One last thing, it's NOT always a good thing to be a very good dancer. Now I always need to hold back when I go out with my friends, because when I start to get into the music and really dance the way I feel it and like it, they would feel so self-conscious in comparison that they eventually just leave the dancefloor or leave the place.
:(

It's pretty difficult to find people who really enjoy dancing and are good at it, hey I'm not talking about the professional dancers.
 

everywomanshero

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Agreed

There is not too many guys who would be dancing if no women were present. Well, OK, not too many straight guys:)

Fact of the matter is most men I've met do not enjoy dancing. 20% even find it totally pointless except to get close to women.

I'm not convinced the dance floor is the best pickup scene. I've had some success in clubs, but I managed to pick those up either outside moaping or on the sidelines. I guess that might explain why they turned out to be boring losers!

However, if you don't dance at all the women will tend to blacklist you.


Answering the original question: If you live in a fairly large city you should be able to find free/cheap classes certain nights of the week at particular clubs.

If you live in a lightly populated area you probably should consider relocating. In the interim, you could try video courses. Maybe we should start a DJ video library and have materials that can be loaned out? I'll start another thread and see if anyone bites.
 

ReT

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Yeah man, I was really enjoying the music, so I was feeling the vibe to dance, most of the girls on the dancefloor were tooken, so I was just having fun.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I-am-someone

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ReT, don't dance by yourself too much. Try and dance with as many other girls as you possibly can. Make sure you don't initiate the dance like a horney drunk. Try to be a little subtle, just dance with her for the fun of it.
You don't even have to know how to dance, just know that the dancing is an excuse to touch eachother and get to know eachother's body in a fun way.
That's the main goal you have to have in the beginning - to have fun with this girl... then slowly move into a more sexual state of mind. You don't have to grind, there's a lot of ways to dance sexually. Good hand and leg placement are important though :D.

Next time you're dancing by yourself, and see another girl nearby that you like and that seems to be eyeing you... don't think, just move over to her. I usually just look her straight into her eyes and don't talk, while dancing seporately from her at first.

It's basically like having sex... you can't just dive in right away and expect her to be turned on. You have to work it slow until she's wet and ready for the taking.

Don't rush... have eyecontact... kino her... have fun...
 

gimmeyofonenumba

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Heres what i do. I've clubbin about 3 times now. AS soon as i get in there, i go directly to where all the action is and start dancing, usually a trance/dance club so i start noddin my head and high fiving people that look like they're havin a good time. Once thats done i start dancing by myself, i think iam a good dancer, but all my moves consist of just thrusting my hips to the beat, while kinda wobbling my shoulders, and moving my arms. Once thats done...dayyuumm. im horrible, the biggest slime ball out there. I'll go up to any chick and start thrusting to her, even if there is another guy there who's kinda far from her but facing her, i'll tap her on the hip stay about 6 inches away from her ass and start dancing.

Yet, im not that talented and will keep doing the same thing, so the chick eventually gets bored of it and slowly moves away. Or i turn it up, by trying to rub her hips/thighs, and she is either drugged or something, because she shows no reaction/excitement to it. but eventually will say calm down in a serious tone. Or this one time, this like hb5 was all happy and flailing her arms all over the place, so i just mirrored her.

-seems to me that most chicks in a trance/dance club arent really dirty/horny. or they are there with guy friends or a boyfriend...so... i was thinking of a hip hop/reggae club, anyone been, how is it?

- Also, heres something ive learned. I realized, you gotta keep bringing something new to the table, grinding gets old after a while and you wanna show the chick you arent just dancing with her cause of a boner u had a few hrs ago. so i think(and i havent done this, and not sure how) you gotta try some of that swing stuff, like spin her around. Maybe even pick her up or something. I'd like to incorporate that salsa type of spin. I think the idea is to cut her off from the rest of the club, and make her feel like she is in your dimension and you are showing her all the new things/moves that she isnt seeing out there/expecting.
 

Le Parisien

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Also, heres something ive learned. I realized, you gotta keep bringing something new to the table, grinding gets old after a while and you wanna show the chick you arent just dancing with her cause of a boner u had a few hrs ago. so i think(and i havent done this, and not sure how) you gotta try some of that swing stuff, like spin her around. Maybe even pick her up or something. I'd like to incorporate that salsa type of spin. I think the idea is to cut her off from the rest of the club, and make her feel like she is in your dimension and you are showing her all the new things/moves that she isnt seeing out there/expecting.
Spot on gimmeyofonenumba!:cheer:

If guys just keep grinding left right left right left right, or back and forth or etc it gets real boring, even for the guys. Try to be imaginative.

Another thing, you can break away for sometime spinning her around, be playful only to get back to "it" harder and then change again... If I feel the girl isn't really all over me in which case I would feel "guilty" for playing with her to much, I would break away at some point, and do what the attentionwh*res do to us guys so often :" come get me baby!" Usually the girl would be soo surprised and turned on that she actually comes grind with me by herself.

One last thing, how do you differentiate a girl who grinds with you because she really likes you from some attention wh*res who just want to feel desirable?
By the way she likes to grind you. An interested girl won't have any problem grinding with you front-on and looking into your eyes at the same time; and when grinding front back, she may enjoy it so much that she will close her eyes, and she will enjoy every touch made by your hands.
The attention wh*res only let you grind her from the back, she just wants to know that she's making you hard, and she makes sure that the only thing touching her is your hard-on.

Hope this helps.
:)
 

Q-Pid

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Not worrying about what you look like is the #1 most important thing about dancing. Without confidence you'll be too self-analytical to have a good time. It's for this reason alcohol is sold in bars - to allow people to dance without worrying what they look like :)

Oh and make sure you SMILE. Far too many guys are frowning in a piss poor attempt to "look sexy".

Work the shoulders and the hips. Dancing does mirror sex after all :)

A good way to initiate dancing with a hottie is to "butt-bump". This involves bumping her hip with your own, and when she looks over giving her a playful look.
 

thefonz

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just try to feel good, drink, and do what everyone else is doing
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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aBAzLLnA

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Learn to pop or hip-hop dance. I consider grinding just dry sex on a dancefloor...
 

MacDiddy

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I'm not a dancer and dancing isn't my style, but having said that, I can see that you are going to look pathetic when you start grinding like a newbie.. which will kill any social value you try to develop

Dancing takes a bit of funk, soul, fluidity and rythmn.

So don't just follow the advice here. Go join a dance class and practice...
 

mrRuckus

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Originally posted by ReT
Hey guys, I went clubbing for the 2nd time in my life, I did ok dancing, but does anyone have any paticular moves to get me noticed on the dancefloor, besides boping my head and swinging back an forth or jumping around lol.

don't do the move where you want to dance with some girl and she's like "no i have a boyfriend" and your response is "well i don't see him here."
 

Black_Italian

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You must first learn the art of the Ninja then learn the art of the Dance.
 

redshift

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One last thing, it's NOT always a good thing to be a very good dancer. Now I always need to hold back when I go out with my friends, because when I start to get into the music and really dance the way I feel it and like it, they would feel so self-conscious in comparison that they eventually just leave the dancefloor or leave the place.
True..i had girls walk out on me saying that i was a good techno dancer and they couldnt keep up with me..WTF? watever..
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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