damn it, got flaked on again.

[wskbb]

I number closed a few girls at the club and they showed major interest in me.
I followed the 3 days rule then called to arrange a first date with specific time and place, they'd agreed. and i dont call / text them before the first date. I met them Thursday, called them next Monday to arrange 1st date on the coming Saturday. Usually, i got flaked on a day or two before the date.


flake 1, 23 hours prior, via text :

girl1 : "sorry wskbb, i got to study my exam and do my paper, can't make it to the date"

flake 2, 30 mins prior, via text :

girl2 : "are we still going out for dinner?"
(mind you, i reminded her about the date 2 days before and she confirmed with me)
me : yes!
girl2 : "i thought it was canceled since you didn't call to confirm with me, i'm going out later after the dinnner so im gonna have to take awhilre,
can you wait?"
me : "nah, let's do it some other time...." then proceed to delete her number.

was i supposed to keep in touch with them before the first date?

i sure as hell not want to get flaked on again......pls help.

 

[Bluewater7]

Others may think differently, but I think you handled Girl 2 properly, other than feeling maybe too angry (which is understandable). Perhaps (if you liked her) you could have fired back with: "Well, we'll do it another time, but this time you are taking me out to dinner... and it better be good =)".

This way you are not just taking her crap, but also joking a bit and maybe getting a good meal out of it. And if she starts *****ing just don't reply since you didn't care either way and were prepared to delete her #.

I think, in general, it is always easier to counter flakiness with pure abundance. Because, then it doesn't hurt so much. And the "good ones" rise to the top and chase YOU and weed themselves out.

 

[SickAgain]

Neither are that bad I think. Situation 1 seems possibly legit. I'd try again. Situation 2 I have had happen to me before. You should've been like "i'm already on my way, lets get dinner and then you can go do whatever you want after." In my case she was like oh I can't kick it too long I'm going to a club afterwards. She never made it to the club if you know what I mean.

She was just being a little nervous I think. She wanted to go, that's why she asked, she was just having second thoughts. You gotta be like "fvck yeah we're going!" Get her excited about that sh!t. In the bigger picture this girl is low-value so its no big deal really.

 

[wskbb]

after setting up the first date, do u guys keep in touch with the girl before the first date?

 

[SickAgain]

depends, but usually i don't. for example everyone here says to set a date right away after getting number i.e. spend 3 mins on the phone then ask. but i like to know them a bit first if i didn't get a chance during the pick up. you gotta feel it out.

 

[mtlwlu]

I think the best way to avoid a flake, is let HER set up the date and time. That way if she flakes she has no excuse. I did this to a girl once, she flaked the first time, the 2nd time I told her, she decided when to go out, so she set a time and date, and worked like a charm.

 

[f283000]

after setting up the first date, do u guys keep in touch with the girl before the first date?

Let me ask you this, when you called them to set up a date did you chat them up? did you have a decent conversation with them? or did you just call and ask them to go out with you 2 minutes into the conversation?

What I mean is when you first call them you have to chat them up, get to know them a bit and make em feel good about talking to you over the phone. Have a decent conversation with them so they feel as if you are not a total stranger anymore. Then at the end pull the "hey, you wanna go chill w me" etc so it feels totally natural. I kinda disagree with those that say to chat with a girl for 3 minutes then ask them out. You gotta make em feel good about talking to you and wanting to know more. I wouldn't recommend talking to them for an hour but definitely not 3 minutes. 5-7 minutes is a small chat.

Of course if what you are doing is not working for you try something else. Instead of calling to set up a date call them to chat them up and ask how they're feeling. Maybe ask them on a date on your second phone call. You already seems to know how to get numbers but if the rest is not working try something else until you find the right formula that works for you.

don't forget the 2 STRIKES RULE

 

[wskbb]

yea, maybe that's what i was doing wrong.....i just call chat a bit, 2,3 mins, and set up a date.

i will try out the suggestions, thanks everyone.

 

[Allurre]

Your problem is THE 3 DAY RULE.

You should always follow up in advance.

Don't be so rigid and fully compliant with the RULES you pick up on this board bro.

Put yourself in HER shoes. If you don't call the night before the date, WHAT DO YOU THINK she will feel like?

 

[wskbb]

Put yourself in HER shoes. If you don't call the night before the date, WHAT DO YOU THINK she will feel like?

what do you mean by this? Feel like what?

I don't suppose I need to remind her about my first date the night before. If she's interested in me in any way, she would have checked with me if she thought it was canceled......and nobody says it's canceled....plus i did confirmed with her 2 days prior to the date.

 

[amoka]

After setting up the date, tell them you'd pick her up at so and so time. Many women would agree to the time you set or counter offer another time.

 

[wskbb]

After setting up the date, tell them you'd pick her up at so and so time. Many women would agree to the time you set or counter offer another time.

i did just that.....

 

[Jay Dee]

Every bird that's ended up not going has always rung or texted me before. They almost always remember they have a date planned and it's as if their conscience makes them get in touch with you last minute.

So don't worry about confirming, if they don't get in touch and/or don't turn up, give it a week, call, neg them a bit and try setting up plans again, delete that num if it doesn't happen.