"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Damn is this another 2 months and out?

Ricky

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This is a rhetorical question, but yet I am running into a problem again.

I have had a 3 year relationship which ended last year. Other than that one, most of mine have been on the order of a few months before they failed.

Can you imagine how upsetting it can be to have a girl you met, seduced and banged regularly to start flaking on you?

So on this DJ forum I have always found a lack of good info on how to keep a relationship going, once it is in fact a relationship.

I think somewhere at the root of it is a fault in how I interact with my gf of choice over time. I wish i knew more what the answers are.

In any event it seems like i have girls with very high interest at first and at times it starts to keep falling. It's like I can't relate to them.

I am really in love with a girl now, it's different than any of the other dozens of girls I've dated, yet i am really scared that this one is ending too, for a number of reasons.

Am I left at the end thinking it's my fault, or hers. Why does every relationship have to crash and burn?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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sapphire

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I think the problem lies in the fact that you get so worked up with a girl that you start acting AFC and not even realize it until it is too late.

The best way to keep a girl, from personal experience and maintain her interest, is to just relax and not have any expectations from the beginning. In other words don't get too emotionally involved and adopt a detached attitude.
 

earthshyne

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Originally posted by sapphire
...not have any expectations from the beginning...
Truer words were never spoken. There is much wisdom in that sentence.

If you like fishing, then you'll know that just being on the water and enjoying the sound of the waves clapping gently against the side of the boat and the sun on your face and the absence of phones and faxes and computers and so forth is the whole exercise. If, perchance, you happen to catch a fish, that's just a happy bonus, a fortunate result of circumstances.

Same thing goes with the beginning of a relationship. Enjoy the time togther with her. Have fun. Fool around. Do "couples" stuff that you wouldn't otherwise do. If, perchance, you happen to fall in love and she with you, that's just a happy bonus, a fortunate result of circumstances.

Good luck!
 

Ricky

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This is more of a case where she fell for me hard and i reciprocated!

Our biggest problem right now is distance and time together.

But after dating tons of girls, this one is more what I'm looking for.

We had a nice talk last night. I told her we need to take the pressure of ourselves (she was talking about moving with me to the town I'm moving to soon). The moving and all it entails was stressing her out and causing a bit of a problem between us.

I think i was premature in thinking it was over. We are both being careful though...
 

Albion4

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Keep her intrigued, keep her guessing, keep her feelin' good.

-Al
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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