"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Damn is this another 2 months and out?

Ricky

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This is a rhetorical question, but yet I am running into a problem again.

I have had a 3 year relationship which ended last year. Other than that one, most of mine have been on the order of a few months before they failed.

Can you imagine how upsetting it can be to have a girl you met, seduced and banged regularly to start flaking on you?

So on this DJ forum I have always found a lack of good info on how to keep a relationship going, once it is in fact a relationship.

I think somewhere at the root of it is a fault in how I interact with my gf of choice over time. I wish i knew more what the answers are.

In any event it seems like i have girls with very high interest at first and at times it starts to keep falling. It's like I can't relate to them.

I am really in love with a girl now, it's different than any of the other dozens of girls I've dated, yet i am really scared that this one is ending too, for a number of reasons.

Am I left at the end thinking it's my fault, or hers. Why does every relationship have to crash and burn?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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sapphire

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I think the problem lies in the fact that you get so worked up with a girl that you start acting AFC and not even realize it until it is too late.

The best way to keep a girl, from personal experience and maintain her interest, is to just relax and not have any expectations from the beginning. In other words don't get too emotionally involved and adopt a detached attitude.
 

earthshyne

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Originally posted by sapphire
...not have any expectations from the beginning...
Truer words were never spoken. There is much wisdom in that sentence.

If you like fishing, then you'll know that just being on the water and enjoying the sound of the waves clapping gently against the side of the boat and the sun on your face and the absence of phones and faxes and computers and so forth is the whole exercise. If, perchance, you happen to catch a fish, that's just a happy bonus, a fortunate result of circumstances.

Same thing goes with the beginning of a relationship. Enjoy the time togther with her. Have fun. Fool around. Do "couples" stuff that you wouldn't otherwise do. If, perchance, you happen to fall in love and she with you, that's just a happy bonus, a fortunate result of circumstances.

Good luck!
 

Ricky

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This is more of a case where she fell for me hard and i reciprocated!

Our biggest problem right now is distance and time together.

But after dating tons of girls, this one is more what I'm looking for.

We had a nice talk last night. I told her we need to take the pressure of ourselves (she was talking about moving with me to the town I'm moving to soon). The moving and all it entails was stressing her out and causing a bit of a problem between us.

I think i was premature in thinking it was over. We are both being careful though...
 

Albion4

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Keep her intrigued, keep her guessing, keep her feelin' good.

-Al
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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