"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Damn Damn Damn

A

Aru

Don Juan
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After all this time it happened again. I suppose it was never gone but just lying dormant. Nevertheless it is back: I've got oneitis for the girl.

Its probably because the relationship with the girl that I was seeing (casual dating) these past months came to an end recently. My oneitis didn't know about this relationship until after it was over, but is now under the impression that I am in a relationship with this girl (hard to explain) and I don't know anyway to let her know that I am in fact single without the obvious intentions being too blatant. "Oh by the way oneitis, you know the girl you think I'm dating, well we aren't anymore. That means I'm free to be with you!"

My gut tells me she wants me but sometimes my head just doesn't believe it. I have no problem gaming and flirting with other girls and even still she should definitely feel how much I desire her (we dance together, she feels my physical affection). All her friends want me and play and flirt with me, and this she notices to be sure. Her blog says she dreamt about 'someone special to her' without naming who it was. I know her life well, probability is high that it would be me. That would be good because this girl is relationship material.

Gotta find a solution to this.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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A

AlwaysExcel

Senior Don Juan
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Well the obvious problem is your oneitis. You have her on a pedestal and are obsessing too much over her perception of you. Game her like you would all the other girls. Her perception of you dating someone else is no big deal. In fact, you could play her ignorance about your relationship status to your advantage since girls are competitive and like to steal each other's BFs. Or if she asks and you don't feel like being coy, just tell her that you aren't with that other girl anymore and change the subject like it's no thing. IT IS NO THING!!
 
F

Finch

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I think you've obviously just put this girl on a pedestal for some reason. You need to drop that quickly and stop over analyzing every little detail between you two. If you think that the person she is referring to in her blog is you, then you should obviously know at this point. And if you know then what is seriously stopping you from taking advantage of the situation. Don't make up excuses to be a wimp. Just admit it and overcome it. Then get the girl.
 
C

Climax

Master Don Juan
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Do this...

Aru: U need to ask this girl out on a date, then if she doesn’t ask you " how can u ask me out on a date if u are with (the other girls name)" which u would answer with " well, I thought u knew.. I’m not with her anymore" then u just go on a date with her and tell her that u and the other girl are not together anymore and then just see her reaction and act accordingly.


Laterz...
 
C

cave dweller

Master Don Juan
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date........

Hey,

Ask her if she wants to go out on a date.

Either 'hook up' and date her or move on.



cave dweller
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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