Ok. I fu**ed up big time!
A little background:
I met a girl and an business convention that was several days. During the brakes we had really nice conversation and there was a vibe so by the end of the convention I had taken her number and set up a date. But right at the end of the convention I also met her boyfriend. Big bummer! Decided not to act and that I had misread the conversations we had.
Any ways she was cool and we started hanging out with and her and her group of friends including the bf. I had no intention on making moves on her. I don't like that. Too much drama down that rout.
Main:
I moved to another city and 1 month later she breaks up with her bf and calls me about it. I tell her i like her. She tells me she likes me and comes to "visit" me for the weekend. The first day went great lots of kissing rolling around in bed and so forth. During that I tried to seal the deal several times but she was still not feeling ready so I back off and try again later. We made dinner at my place had a few drinks and it was on. Now during the day I was not sure if she was her just to have fun for the weekend or she was expecting something more serious and the way she acted during the day I was feeling that she wants something more. I did pop the stupid question what is she expecting from this earlier in the day so that there will be no hurt feelings on either side after it. My perspective was that I just got out of a distance relationship and no way in seven hells will I do that again. She said she doesn't know. Now here comes the fun part. After sex we laid in bed for a while and she asked me what em I thinking... and I said the most stupid thing I could. "What do we do now? I do not want a distance relationship".The wuss of wusses. She got pissed stopped talking for awhile and now I realized what came out of my mouth and my mind was all over the place how to fix this. I really didn’t want to hurt her by my insecurity. Eventually we started talking. I said **** to my ego. She might end up thinking I’m the most wossest guy in the world as long as she does not feel used and **** over. I have to fix this. We talked a lot I told her about my previous relationship and what a mess it was in the end and that i was afraid this will happen again. That I was only thinking of myself and so forth. Eventually we kinda got over it started laughing again and went to sleep after some more kissing. I made her the deal that tomorrow I will try to make up for what I did and she kinda agreed.
In the morning she went had a shower then I took one and when I got out she was gone. She called me after she had taken her train that she is sorry that she left that way. I apologize once more. And I felt I needed to be more sincere so we talked one more time hoping at least to stay friends. Any of the times I apologized she was not even hearing me and she was just concentrating on hating me and I was fine with that because I think deserved it. I was feeling depressed and disappointed from my self from what I did and the way I handled it but decided to learn from it and move on. Not it has been several day later and I receive text form here that I made her feel used. And now I'm beginning to feel pissed because she dose not hear a word I say and I basically gave her my balls(I guess that was my second big mistake) but she is still on with the drama. Am I still being a douchebag for wanting to tell her here off and there is nothing more I can say or do? I have no idea how to deal with this. I'm completely at a lost.
A little background:
I met a girl and an business convention that was several days. During the brakes we had really nice conversation and there was a vibe so by the end of the convention I had taken her number and set up a date. But right at the end of the convention I also met her boyfriend. Big bummer! Decided not to act and that I had misread the conversations we had.
Any ways she was cool and we started hanging out with and her and her group of friends including the bf. I had no intention on making moves on her. I don't like that. Too much drama down that rout.
Main:
I moved to another city and 1 month later she breaks up with her bf and calls me about it. I tell her i like her. She tells me she likes me and comes to "visit" me for the weekend. The first day went great lots of kissing rolling around in bed and so forth. During that I tried to seal the deal several times but she was still not feeling ready so I back off and try again later. We made dinner at my place had a few drinks and it was on. Now during the day I was not sure if she was her just to have fun for the weekend or she was expecting something more serious and the way she acted during the day I was feeling that she wants something more. I did pop the stupid question what is she expecting from this earlier in the day so that there will be no hurt feelings on either side after it. My perspective was that I just got out of a distance relationship and no way in seven hells will I do that again. She said she doesn't know. Now here comes the fun part. After sex we laid in bed for a while and she asked me what em I thinking... and I said the most stupid thing I could. "What do we do now? I do not want a distance relationship".The wuss of wusses. She got pissed stopped talking for awhile and now I realized what came out of my mouth and my mind was all over the place how to fix this. I really didn’t want to hurt her by my insecurity. Eventually we started talking. I said **** to my ego. She might end up thinking I’m the most wossest guy in the world as long as she does not feel used and **** over. I have to fix this. We talked a lot I told her about my previous relationship and what a mess it was in the end and that i was afraid this will happen again. That I was only thinking of myself and so forth. Eventually we kinda got over it started laughing again and went to sleep after some more kissing. I made her the deal that tomorrow I will try to make up for what I did and she kinda agreed.
In the morning she went had a shower then I took one and when I got out she was gone. She called me after she had taken her train that she is sorry that she left that way. I apologize once more. And I felt I needed to be more sincere so we talked one more time hoping at least to stay friends. Any of the times I apologized she was not even hearing me and she was just concentrating on hating me and I was fine with that because I think deserved it. I was feeling depressed and disappointed from my self from what I did and the way I handled it but decided to learn from it and move on. Not it has been several day later and I receive text form here that I made her feel used. And now I'm beginning to feel pissed because she dose not hear a word I say and I basically gave her my balls(I guess that was my second big mistake) but she is still on with the drama. Am I still being a douchebag for wanting to tell her here off and there is nothing more I can say or do? I have no idea how to deal with this. I'm completely at a lost.
