Current GF / Lost interest in Sex

[BackInTheGame78]

Update?

Again such an quite intensive thread with a serious problem that dies because there's no update.

And I GET THAT. Yes fellas, 99% of the time men will just "let it all slide" and continue the relationship. Been there done that.

The advice given ( to dumb her due to the lack of affection/ sex) is perhaps a tad too radical.

It's not really too radical because at the end of the day the most important thing you have is time. No matter how much money you make nobody can buy more time.

To spend several months or years wasting it with someone who is never going to work out long term and with the end result pretty much already determined at this point, is not a wise use of your most precious resource.

 

[Gamisch]

It's not really too radical because at the end of the day the most important thing you have is time. No matter how much money you make nobody can buy more time.

To spend several months or years wasting it with someone who is never going to work out long term and with the end result pretty much already determined at this point, is not a wise use of your most precious resource.

I agree to the fullest, but I also think that OP choose the status quo , maybe he can hit it once or twice and that's enough to prolong the situation for at least another 6 months..

Let's be real: most men rather have a woman close by who acts like this than having no woman ..

 

[jhonny9546]

I'm interested in women that have some intellectual curiosity about the world now.

Me too! But when you ask her, "What you're reading about?" and she show you "50 shades of gray" or the next "porn" novel, you actually understand.
It's rare to find intellectual women.
They start reading just because other women told them to do it.
Effetto carrozzone

OP,

Sometimes a relationship has simply run its course and it is time to move on. In your case, it is past time to move on. A lot of guys will comment on "always keeping things interesting" to prevent a woman from getting bored and looking elsewhere. The truth is this is a gross oversimplification. Sometimes people just aren't a fit together no matter what a man does to try to keep it exciting. I agree with the other posters that she is depressed and is blaming you for that. In truth, this is a HER problem, not a you problem. The writing is on the wall and you are burying your head in the sand and sticking around. Do yourself a favor and exit.

Accept that the transition may not be easy. Also understand that it is temporary, and life always works itself out so long as you are doing what you need to do. Cut ties and look forward to a fresh start. You will be glad you did.

I don't really know how you guys can have this strenght!
I'm really envious of you. How could you dare to do something like this? How could you be so sure to have the tools and skillset to start again, find another women and be in another LTR again at a given age?
This is really what I'm here for.
I wish I could do it.

When she’s sad, give her the D. When she’s distant, give her the D.

OP actually said that she is depressed, so we might say she's sad, and she don't want the D.
In your case, she is not depressed and she want the D from you.
So this might not be the case?

 

[DJ Novice]

I’ve found that once the desire, quality and/or quantity of s*x starts to decline from either partner it’s very hard to keep the relationship going.

You can get companionship and social, intellectual, social and spiritual connection/enjoyment either by yourself or with friends and family (and pets for some).

Physical connection and s*x is the one thing a woman can provide that others can’t (apart from giving birth to and raising children which I’m excluding for the purposes of this discussion, this is something women can offer apart from s*x that can offer meaning and purpose to your life).

Ask this of your current partners - excluding being a mother to your kids if you have any, if they didn’t offer s*x to you that was to your liking would you still actually want to hang around them for any length of time? If you answer yes then consider yourself fortunate.

 

[jhonny9546]

Ask this of your current partners - excluding being a mother to your kids if you have any, if they didn’t offer s*x to you that was to your liking would you still actually want to hang around them for any length of time? If you answer yes then consider yourself fortunate.

Good point!

Consider this: You can fall in love for "sexual desire," "companionship," or the warmth you feel with a specific woman. This emotional connection can sustain a relationship, especially since, as you've noted, sexual desire often fades over time. While daily tricks and PUA techniques can help, nature ultimately takes its course.

What makes your friendships strong? Is it shared interests or the history you have together? Likely both.

Many couples who have been together for over 20 years face sexual issues, yet they remain good friends and share their lives. If they can thrive without intense sexual desire and instead focus on their connection and mutual respect, why can't others? Just because sexual desire diminishes doesn't mean the relationship must end. If the emotional bond remains strong, the need for sex may become less significant.

I've spent four months single and found that I value the connection before sex more than the physical act itself.
I had no sex in those 4 months and focused only on myself.

 

[Westminster]

Good point!

Consider this: You can fall in love for "sexual desire," "companionship," or the warmth you feel with a specific woman. This emotional connection can sustain a relationship, especially since, as you've noted, sexual desire often fades over time. While daily tricks and PUA techniques can help, nature ultimately takes its course.

What makes your friendships strong? Is it shared interests or the history you have together? Likely both.

Many couples who have been together for over 20 years face sexual issues, yet they remain good friends and share their lives. If they can thrive without intense sexual desire and instead focus on their connection and mutual respect, why can't others? Just because sexual desire diminishes doesn't mean the relationship must end. If the emotional bond remains strong, the need for sex may become less significant.

I've spent four months single and found that I value the connection before sex more than the physical act itself.
I had no sex in those 4 months and focused only on myself.

Possibly. If you're really quite old - and I'm talking in your 60s or 70s. Otherwise, a dead bedroom is the sign of a dying relationship.

 

[Westminster]

I agree to the fullest, but I also think that OP choose the status quo , maybe he can hit it once or twice and that's enough to prolong the situation for at least another 6 months..

Let's be real: most men rather have a woman close by who acts like this than having no woman ..

I've actually come to the opposite conclusion inasmuch as I'd rather be without a woman than be in a sexless relationship. I know that sounds old-fashioned but ultimately that's what women are for: sex.

The only caveat would be if you're both old and your sex drive has totally evaporated. Then I suppose it ceases to be a problem - although I'm not quite there yet so I wouldn't know!

 

[Gamisch]

I've actually come to the opposite conclusion inasmuch as I'd rather be without a woman than be in a sexless relationship. I know that sounds old-fashioned but ultimately that's what women are for: sex.

The only caveat would be if you're both old and your sex drive has totally evaporated. Then I suppose it ceases to be a problem - although I'm not quite there yet so I wouldn't know!

Personally? Yes . Generally? No.

I am on your side, but when I look around me I see that a lotta men will stay in a miserable relationship, or even worst: create a miserable situation by going PP bro without any mutual attraction, live together asap, or accepting "situation-ships" where the woman turn him into a cuckold.

 

[Westminster]

Personally? Yes . Generally? No.

I am on your side, but when I look around me I see that a lotta men will stay in a miserable relationship, or even worst: create a miserable situation by going PP bro without any mutual attraction, live together asap, or accepting "situation-ships" where the woman turn him into a cuckold.

You're right. I've done it myself in the past, largely because there were children involved. I wouldn't do it again though.

 

[sevbucmash]

Lost interest in sex means lowered IL -- ALWAYS! Firstly always because sosuave says so. Secondly, always because from my own experience that's what that means.

Just because you don't think she's seeing someone else, doesn't mean she isn't seeing someone else. She could be online for example. She could go out for groceries and meet someone. Things like that.

Next step, she leaves you.

 

[Gamisch]

Lost interest in sex means lowered IL -- ALWAYS! Firstly always because sosuave says so. Secondly, always because from my own experience that's what that means.

Just because you don't think she's seeing someone else, doesn't mean she isn't seeing someone else. She could be online for example. She could go out for groceries and meet someone. Things like that.

Next step, she leaves you.

Let's be real; the main reason why a man stays is because he is petrified to be alone. The phases of loneliness taught him that replacing her will be quite the task.

Its also shows how big the difference is between men and women. We as men cannot understand why you would LIVE together with a woman you're not attracted to.

So there gotta be other intentions.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Why don’t you convert to Mormonism and Islam and marry 4 wives? ….that would be a practical solution and would create competition anxiety…lol haha

 

[plumber]

Why don’t you convert to Mormonism and Islam and marry 4 wives? ….that would be a practical solution and would create competition anxiety…lol haha

haha, but. ratio of men and women is about 50/50. In those groups, some men have 4 wife, the other men nothing.

 

[jhonny9546]

I've actually come to the opposite conclusion inasmuch as I'd rather be without a woman than be in a sexless relationship. I know that sounds old-fashioned but ultimately that's what women are for: sex.

The only caveat would be if you're both old and your sex drive has totally evaporated. Then I suppose it ceases to be a problem - although I'm not quite there yet so I wouldn't know!

Different needs at different ages.

Women are not just for sex, but also for company, warmth, support, taking care of your child, etc.

To understand loneliness, a man must feel that in his skin in life.

And if you had the chance to have this opportunity in life, bless god, because you know how much you suffer, but at the same time how much you feel yourself and at peace with yourself.

Being alone > Unhappy relationship

 

[Jor-El]

Why don’t you convert to Mormonism and Islam and marry 4 wives? ….that would be a practical solution and would create competition anxiety…lol haha

Hmmmmmm...4 lots of nagging also!

 

[Learning Curve]

So im sure everyone here wants an update.

Was through a process of exiting, and ejecting from this situation so it took some time.

The woman i had was legit depressed and problematic. Could not take it anymore.

S3x was non existent, after several discussions i decided to end it. She moved out.

Time to move on.

Appreciate everyone inputs.

 

[Clockwerk50]

So im sure everyone here wants an update.

Was through a process of exiting, and ejecting from this situation so it took some time.

The woman i had was legit depressed and problematic. Could not take it anymore.

S3x was non existent, after several discussions i decided to end it. She moved out.

Time to move on.

Appreciate everyone inputs.

Good job man. Next time it will be easier to break it off, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Many people dont have the balls to end a relationship that went bad. Im proud of you, brother.

 

[SW15]

i decided to end it. She moved out.

Time to move on.

Appreciate everyone inputs.

You did the correct thing. I identified this as the likely outcome in one of the first posts on this thread.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Good luck on your new Journey.

I hope you find a Quality woman someday. I suggest you keep in touch with your ex and remain friends and invite her to a few gatherings and do nice things for her in return for Good Karma.

I highly suggest now you look abroad to find a Quality woman. Look into places like Colombia, Brazil, The Philippines or Even the Provinces of Japan or Vietnam to find a Good traditional woman.

I'm still here in South East Asia, and I gotten in one of the top shape of my life due to the fact that there's less processed crap out here and the homecooking of some real nice ladies at my Parent's Hotel.