"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Critique my (short) email

Alphathree

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I'm sure this doesn't contain any obvious AFC contents, but please read between the (few) lines and tell me if there's any little tweaks I could've made:

"Are you coming to [name of place we dance] on Monday? Let's hang out afterward. There's a cool little coffee shop nearby where we can have some stimulating conversation."

Yes, I ripped out the "stimulating conversation" right from the David D handbook. I thought it sounded lame at first, but upon reading it to myself, it's actually a nice differentiator.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Alphathree

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Specifically, do you think asking if she's coming is approval seeking?

To me it was practical. After all, if she's not going to be there, we can't very well hang out afterward.

(This is an event that we go to regardless of whether or not we're 'dating')

Also, I should put into context the timing of this email:

We had a brief MSN conversation a few days ago in which she very annoyingly ****-tested me.

She messaged me first, but then she proceeded to give me one word answers like 'sometimes' and 'maybe'. I tolerated exactly three of those, and then I said, "you know one word answers don't convey much information"

Ten seconds later, I said "ttyl" and logged off.

I didn't handle it perfectly, but do you guys think that's an acceptable way to handle such a **** test?

Anyway, deep in my mind I know that it's a little bit of a mistake to send her any email at all, because I'm "rewarding" her bad behaviour on MSN a few days ago (**** test).

I don't think this is a huge blunder, but I'd like your thoughts on that as well.
 

G-Man UK

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"stimulating conversation"

I don't like it. It sounds like you got it from a book and you did....

But that's just my opinion.

Respect

G-man
 

diablo

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Originally posted by G-Man UK
"stimulating conversation"

I don't like it. It sounds like you got it from a book and you did....

But that's just my opinion.
I agree - write what you'd naturally say. If you would normally walk up to someone and say "Let's have stimulating conversation!" then by all means say it in the email. Other than that, this is the most basic email I've come across - there's really not enough to critique.
 

Alphathree

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Originally posted by G-Man UK
"stimulating conversation"

I don't like it. It sounds like you got it from a book and you did....

But that's just my opinion.

Respect

G-man
Thanks for the input dude-- never tried it before, thought I'd give it a shot. I hesitate to say "talk" or "discuss" because even *I* get bored thinking about that.

But thanks for taking a whack at my inner game! =p
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Alphathree

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Originally posted by diablo
I agree - write what you'd naturally say. If you would normally walk up to someone and say "Let's have stimulating conversation!" then by all means say it in the email. Other than that, this is the most basic email I've come across - there's really not enough to critique.
I've been known to SLIGHTLY eccentric, so I think it does fit with my personality, but I certainly haven't used it before.

I could definitely walk up to someone and use the phrase "stimulating conversation" in a congruent way.

Yes, I'm rationalizing=)

Thanks for your input.
 

Pimp-sicle

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Originally posted by G-Man UK
"stimulating conversation"

I don't like it. It sounds like you got it from a book and you did....

But that's just my opinion.

Respect

G-man
Yeah you sound like a big time tool saying "stimulating conversation." LOL Actually you sound more like a 45 year old man trying to get a blind date with a chick.

I don't know how old you are but I'm guessin your pretty young, so save the old talk for when you ARE old. I'm not a fan of e-mailing or text messaging with girls, if you want to contact them, call them!! But here's how I'd e-mail her if I were you:


We are all going to (name of dance spot) on Monday, you should join us so we can make your boring life a little interesting...:D


That's it, don't say anything about the coffee shop after. Why? Because you don't want to give away how high your interest level is and you also want to see how she acts towards you at the club. What if she's not feeling it or being lame? Why would you want to go to coffee after? However if she's being really cool and your having a good time then you can set up coffee right after and you'll look more spontaneous. Make sure you bring some friends and other girls so you can flirt with them and not be hanging all over this chick the whole night.

If it were me, I'd only do the club and then hook up with her after if its going good. Club and coffee is a little much for one night.



PIMP
 

jprjrjr

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You seem like an intelligent guy. I'm sure you can come up with something more effective than "stimulating conversation". It sounds like you're asking her for phone sex.

Women like intelligent men, but don't over do it.

I did however like your reponse to her one word answers; it shows you don't take shyt. Leave it to her to get back to you. I've used this technique quite successfully at times.
 
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