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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Crazy FR and disrespect shown. Not tolerating it.

BackInTheGame78

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So I had previously posted about a woman who I invited over for dinner who accepted and then told me she needed to meet me out in public first. I told her I don't do wishy washy and the offer for dinner stands and if she needed to chat with me prior to give me a call. She called, we chatted for about 20 mins and she was super excited to come over and cook with me Monday.

Here is the thread:

Fast forward to Monday:

She comes over brings some wine and we are sitting down chatting on the couch for about 10 mins, good vibe going and then I suggest we pour some wine and get cooking. Then the weirdness starts. She says she will stay for a little bit but she has to leave soon...so I look her dead in the eye and say if you want to leave then leave. She says "I think I am..." and then starts spouting some BS about how she thought she was ready to date again but now that she is out on an actual date it doesn't feel right and that she just deleted her profile the other day...so I asked why the hell she would come over if she wasn't ready for that and she says because she didn't want to be rude...she thought about cancelling blah blah blah. So I said cool, just go, not interested in her silliness. Then she tells me "well at least you got a free bottle of wine" before leaving and saying she will think about things more and admits we have a good vibe between us.

Fast forward to today, this b!tch texts me as if nothing happened the other day asking me how my day was going.

I texted her "Get back to me when you feel like apologizing for your exceptionally rude behavior the other day and then we can exchange pleasantries."

She said "I don't know why you are making such a big deal out of it. I thought you would understand but clearly you don't. It has nothing to do with lack of interest in you."

I haven't replied. Honestly F this sh!t...like who fvcking does this sh!t??
 

Suave88

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So I had previously posted about a woman who I invited over for dinner who accepted and then told me she needed to meet me out in public first. I told her I don't do wishy washy and the offer for dinner stands and if she needed to chat with me prior to give me a call. She called, we chatted for about 20 mins and she was super excited to come over and cook with me Monday.

Here is the thread:

Fast forward to Monday:

She comes over brings some wine and we are sitting down chatting on the couch for about 10 mins, good vibe going and then I suggest we pour some wine and get cooking. Then the weirdness starts. She says she will stay for a little bit but she has to leave soon...so I look her dead in the eye and say if you want to leave then leave. She says "I think I am..." and then starts spouting some BS about how she thought she was ready to date again but now that she is out on an actual date it doesn't feel right and that she just deleted her profile the other day...so I asked why the hell she would come over if she wasn't ready for that and she says because she didn't want to be rude...she thought about cancelling blah blah blah. So I said cool, just go, not interested in her silliness. Then she tells me "well at least you got a free bottle of wine" before leaving and saying she will think about things more and admits we have a good vibe between us.

Fast forward to today, this b!tch texts me as if nothing happened the other day asking me how my day was going.

I texted her "Get back to me when you feel like apologizing for your exceptionally rude behavior the other day and then we can exchange pleasantries."

She said "I don't know why you are making such a big deal out of it. I thought you would understand but clearly you don't. It has nothing to do with lack of interest in you."

I haven't replied. Honestly F this sh!t...like who fvcking does this sh!t??
Did you meet her online, at work, family, local pub, friends, beach, prison....where?????
 

Serenity

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You gotta calm down, you're way too aggressive and impatient.

She says she will stay for a little bit but she has to leave soon...so I look her dead in the eye and say if you want to leave then leave.
Sounds kinda butthurt, you did not handle this well. Shouldn't have confronted her like that, should have just lightly asked "oh, why?".

She says "I think I am..."
I probably would have responded like that too. You certainly didn't make her feel welcome by the way you reacted.

so I asked why the hell she would come over if she wasn't ready for that
Making it worse...

So I said cool, just go, not interested in her silliness.
...And worse...

Then she tells me "well at least you got a free bottle of wine"
Lol, yeah, she has had enough of your crap. You could have saved it at this point. She said she enjoyed the vibe (she means previously), that was a hint telling you it's not too late.

I texted her "Get back to me when you feel like apologizing for your exceptionally rude behavior the other day and then we can exchange pleasantries."
...And holy sh!t, even worse.

She said "I don't know why you are making such a big deal out of it. I thought you would understand but clearly you don't. It has nothing to do with lack of interest in you."
She's exceptionally well behaved considering your rudeness towards her, it's a fvcking miracle she still leaves the opportunity open for you.

You're the one who got weird here.
 

backseatjuan

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You also need a muzzle. This is first date mind you, and you met a girl online, and you invite her home to cook and wine, fck basically. Then you don't go though fcking and get straight to arguing. I can tell you with 100% certainty that girl is fcking online without all this drama.

But you did what you did, you should have fcked her on that couch though.

I would never invite a girl to my place on first date. First date is neutral territory, and I don't even expect sex, although I'd kiss and touch and go for it just to sht test her. My place is that date after sex, second or third date after sex.

I don't see you having repeated success with your strategy..
 

GearsGod310

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I feel like that was kind of a **** test.
If she didn't want the d1k she would've never came over. I would've brushed it off and would've said cool if you're not ready then you're not ready and change the subject, remain unaffected and proceed on having a good time drinking wine and eat. Then once the alcohol hits a little bit try to get her horny. She probably would've gave it up too.. you were too agressive man IMO.
 

Serenity

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Just noticed, your other thread has "the power of being unaffected" in the title. It had worked up to this point, but what she said affected you and now in this post you're raging about it which further emphasize that point.

You seem to make the assumption that the reason she says she has to leave soon is about you. Your response is passive aggressive and as we all know, everyone hates passive aggressiveness.

Never assume anything, ask for further explanation before you make a judgement.
 

The Diver

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She says she will stay for a little bit but she has to leave soon...so I look her dead in the eye and say if you want to leave then leave.

I had once a woman who pulled this kind of nonsense, I told her, "Cool, no drama, feel free to go whenever you want". She ends up staying.

A Real indifference, outcome independence, and not afraid to lose her is the way to go.
 

GearsGod310

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Just noticed, your other thread has "the power of being unaffected" in the title. It had worked up to this point, but what she said affected you and now in this post you're raging about it which further emphasize that point.

You seem to make the assumption that the reason she says she has to leave soon is about you. Your response is passive aggressive and as we all know, everyone hates passive aggressiveness.

Never assume anything, ask for further explanation before you make a judgement.
Being indifferent is the best way to go. Instead of asking for and apology or demanding respect. I feel that he likes this girl thats why he reacted like that. If it was a girl that he wasn't very into he wouldn't have gave a sh1t. She texted him acting like everything was cool and I would've went right along with it. Women like playing these dumb little games and sometimes you just gotta play just to get the lay.
 

Serenity

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Women like playing these dumb little games and sometimes you just gotta play just to get the lay.
This one doesn't seem to be playing any games. Until we have an answer to what she had to leave early for it's hard to tell, but we'll probably never know because OP didn't bother to even ask. Everything after that is just her acting unaffected by OP's bullsh!t, which is kinda ironic because that's the way he failed at being.
 

soulforge

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You came across as extremely Butt Hurt.. With online chicks you pretty much can expect this type of flaking, she has a ton of choices, she can afford to be fleeting with her emotions.

What you should have done, is stay very cool about the situation.
 

bcude

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But you did what you did, you should have fcked her on that couch though.
Fvck your couch niggger

I agree with Serenity. Why so aggressive? I feel like you're taking womens' words way too literally. They say alot out of things out of insecurity and depending on the reaction they get back, they either confirm in their heads that something must be off or they let go off that steam and go back to "normal".

I feel like this is comparable to when the anti slut defence kicks in. "i need to go soon..." You say "aha, why so soon? here have some wine" and carry on to talk about something else.
When you look her dead in the eye and say if you want to leave then leave that sounds like outcome dependance to me. It just makes it worse.
 

HyenaPrince

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Fvck your couch niggger

I agree with Serenity. Why so aggressive? I feel like you're taking womens' words way too literally. They say alot out of things out of insecurity and depending on the reaction they get back, they either confirm in their heads that something must be off or they let go off that steam and go back to "normal".

I feel like this is comparable to when the anti slut defence kicks in. "i need to go soon..." You say "aha, why so soon? here have some wine" and carry on to talk about something else.
When you look her dead in the eye and say if you want to leave then leave that sounds like outcome dependance to me. It just makes it worse.
CHARLIE MURPHYYY!
 

BackInTheGame78

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A woman still stinging from her last relationship, probably. Or a woman under alot of stress from other sources, who doesn't know if she has time/energy to date.

I think she was probably telling you the truth

I think you need to chill a bit buddy.......I have been guilty of exactly the same behavior as you.

The better path , would have been to take the path of INDIFFERENCE. As hard as it is, had you shown mild indifference, said "I understand" walk her to the door, give her a hug, and told her "Call me"

................she very well may have stayed. If not, she would have contacted you sooner and been over sooner. (maybe)

My last GF, I thought she was cool, thought she was GF material...........on our 3rd date she was out to my place, and we were making out.

We had not had sex for the first time yet.

At one point she said "I should go" . EXACT SAME SCENARIO AS YOU

I said "Ok, whatever you like" That stumped her and she repeated it. I said "Ok", but said it in a disinterested way, with a shrug. The purpose was to give her the impression, that if she left, I may not call her and ask her out again. But I didn't SAY that, I showed by my actions.

She said "What do you think?" I told her, " I think you should come see my bedroom"

She didn't say a word but let me take her hand and lead her in there.


I find , as men, we need to learn patience, and focus less on trying to force women...........and more focus on subtly leading them, by introducing dread and competition anxiety.
OK, so if I take this as a learning experience and try to see if I can change the outcome, what would you respond with?
 

lamath

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I agree with Serenity. Why so aggressive? I feel like you're taking womens' words way too literally
Ive been guilty of this too many time.its like shooting yourself in the foot.
Its failling the **** test imo.

There are better way to handle things like this, you need to be smoother and ngaf how things turn out, you should have just told her no problem lets just enjoy this bottle and the great lunch we are gonna cook.

Then when she leaves next her.....

Tbh i think its no big loss unstable woman ........ are just good for one thing anyway.
 

redskinsfan92

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You gotta calm down, you're way too aggressive and impatient.


Sounds kinda butthurt, you did not handle this well. Shouldn't have confronted her like that, should have just lightly asked "oh, why?".


I probably would have responded like that too. You certainly didn't make her feel welcome by the way you reacted.


Making it worse...


...And worse...


Lol, yeah, she has had enough of your crap. You could have saved it at this point. She said she enjoyed the vibe (she means previously), that was a hint telling you it's not too late.


...And holy sh!t, even worse.


She's exceptionally well behaved considering your rudeness towards her, it's a fvcking miracle she still leaves the opportunity open for you.

You're the one who got weird here.
He got weird? I guess you let women play mind games with you? Cause, that is what she is doing.

She is not worthy of the lay. She can f off with that sh1t behavior.

I guess unlike some of you my time is actually valuable. If I'm awake I can be making money. Anytime spent on a date or helping a friend is actual money I lose.
 

Serenity

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He got weird? I guess you let women play mind games with you? Cause, that is what she is doing.

She is not worthy of the lay. She can f off with that sh1t behavior.

I guess unlike some of you my time is actually valuable. If I'm awake I can be making money. Anytime spent on a date or helping a friend is actual money I lose.
You're free to not understand it and continue to live in your entitled little bubble, but you are wrong. He fvcked up and he needs to realize that or he will become stuck. He was the one with the sh!t behavior.

You're biased, you don't see clearly. Reverse the roles in this interaction and don't you fvcking tell me you would side with the woman.
 

Lookatu

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She says "I think I am..." and then starts spouting some BS about how she thought she was ready to date again but now that she is out on an actual date it doesn't feel right and that she just deleted her profile the other day...so I asked why the hell she would come over if she wasn't ready for that and she says because she didn't want to be rude...she thought about cancelling blah blah blah.
Dude, that excuse is about the same as gals that say they're on their periods. LOL
I've heard this so many times and this one you know is just that as she attempted to text you again after the fact too.

But yeah you got some balls and as others have said maybe too aggressive or seem butt hurt. But I've been there bro where you just simply IDGAF 100% and have a short fuse and not willing to tolerate even the smallest $hit from them. That's a phase I think you're in now and it maybe hard for others to understand.

My $.02, not every gal is comfortable in moving so fast due to comfort or safety which is variable between different gals. If you wanna weed out the ones that aren't, that's your perogative but I'd think you'd definitely have at least 50% more success if you took on a different approach and also depending on the gal and situation, not invite them over to your place until the second date.
 

lostintime

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They do, they take note of how much disrespect you are willing to put up with. They are USED to that from men.

Ironically, I probably would have done what others suggested as far as playing it cool...but that is out of scarcity, conflict avoidance, and low expectations. Internally I would be pissed and resentful and definitely would not be willing to invest much in this woman after the fact.
I;ve also noticed that women get personally offended when you refuse to tolerate any nonsense (per your post, what you would naturally do when you have abundance). Like they TRULY believe you have done something wrong and should be punished for it. And they have a whole society backing them up. It's insanity. I can't imagine what it feels like being a predatory woman living in this climate. It must literally be like being a kid in a candy store. THey must laugh out loud to themselves sometimes at how EASY it is to get WHATEVER they want WHENEVER they want.
 
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