Hey guys, I recently just got out of a relationship, and moved back in with my parents. I havn't even really moved in with them, 95% of my stuff is chillin in their garage and the rest is in the house. I'm 20 now, and so far it appears that my parents are content with continuing to treat me like a 15 year old teenager that they need to keep track of. They need to know where I'm going, what I'm doing, and how long I'm going to be gone every time I leave, and if I just leave then they call my cell phone and leave voice mails if I don't. How can I get my parents to stop treating me like this?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Could use some advice
- Thread starter Kourt
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Get the 'for rent' newspaper classified ads. Circle a few promising ads and leave it out where mom will find it. Say nothing about it, and see if it affects how they treat you.
I remember having that problem too and they would always pull the "if you're under my roof you obey our rules and show us respect" statement.
In the end I just spoke to them directly and explained I am an adult and I need to feel my independence. I also told them that the way they treated me made me undermined as an adult. It worked out well. They had to adjust and there was a period where they tried hard to act cool, but it worked out in the end.
In the end I just spoke to them directly and explained I am an adult and I need to feel my independence. I also told them that the way they treated me made me undermined as an adult. It worked out well. They had to adjust and there was a period where they tried hard to act cool, but it worked out in the end.
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 374
- Reaction score
- 4
heres what i do
where I'm going,
meeting some friends
what I'm doing,
not decided yet
and how long I'm going to be gone,
who knows! might be back tonight, might not....
where I'm going,
meeting some friends
what I'm doing,
not decided yet
and how long I'm going to be gone,
who knows! might be back tonight, might not....
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
SELF-MASTERY
Banned
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2004
- Messages
- 1,971
- Reaction score
- 7
How about just telling them what you are doing and where you are going, it's not totally unreasonable?
You never get too old for your parents not to care. Be glad that someone gives a fk about you, even if it makes you feel like a kid... Let go of your ego. Deal with it and move on.
You never get too old for your parents not to care. Be glad that someone gives a fk about you, even if it makes you feel like a kid... Let go of your ego. Deal with it and move on.