2Rocky
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I think the article was focusing on LTR's to be honest....
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Could "kindness game" really work?
- Thread starter MatureDJ
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Velasco
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proceeds to talk about how both men and women fall for bs all the time....
think goldilocks. Just enough jerkboy + just enough loving kindness that hits the sweet spot.
BeExcellent
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Sure. Ass hole types get laid. But for women with options why would I choose a Jack ass who is an embarrassment to ME after a while when I can be seen with a solid man who commands respect among men and women without being a Jack ass?
Answer: It’s not something I will tolerate long term. I have options and can go out with someone else.
Listen. Jack ass behavior arises from insecurity. Insecurity is a turn off. Plenty of otherwise great looking men who get laid easily are insecure. In fact part of what drives endless skirt chasing is the need for external validation, aka insecurity. These are the same type men who think being kind or generous is going to get them run over by a woman. They are insecure and therefore put too much stock in how the woman they are with bolsters their self esteem because they are not internally validated.
Kindness indicates a solid internally validated self respecting man. Rudeness indicates insecurity. Kindness is indicative of solidity which women crave. The solid men I know are all kind and generous. And they are NOT pushovers and they do NOT supplicate or pedestalize women. Comparing to Hollywood actors or sports stars is silly. Many of these men are egocentric and that, like rudeness is borne of insecurity.
The most insecure and neurotic man I ever knew was a 6’4” Argentine Italian professional runway model whose image appeared in GQ. I was stunned to discover this. He was kind to people close to him & beyond that generally extraordinarily insecure.
Kindness indicates inner strength and self esteem. That’s why women consider it so valuable. It indicates a real high value man.
Answer: It’s not something I will tolerate long term. I have options and can go out with someone else.
Listen. Jack ass behavior arises from insecurity. Insecurity is a turn off. Plenty of otherwise great looking men who get laid easily are insecure. In fact part of what drives endless skirt chasing is the need for external validation, aka insecurity. These are the same type men who think being kind or generous is going to get them run over by a woman. They are insecure and therefore put too much stock in how the woman they are with bolsters their self esteem because they are not internally validated.
Kindness indicates a solid internally validated self respecting man. Rudeness indicates insecurity. Kindness is indicative of solidity which women crave. The solid men I know are all kind and generous. And they are NOT pushovers and they do NOT supplicate or pedestalize women. Comparing to Hollywood actors or sports stars is silly. Many of these men are egocentric and that, like rudeness is borne of insecurity.
The most insecure and neurotic man I ever knew was a 6’4” Argentine Italian professional runway model whose image appeared in GQ. I was stunned to discover this. He was kind to people close to him & beyond that generally extraordinarily insecure.
Kindness indicates inner strength and self esteem. That’s why women consider it so valuable. It indicates a real high value man.
The advice women give us purposefully directed at steering you to that. Women deny the friendzone exists but they really do secretly love it, they just have to deny it because the truth of it hurts their bottom line.
SW15
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I don't view it the same. A man needs boundaries but he doesn't need to be rude.
Nice guys finish last though. Nice guys are often beta males who are not respected if they are in relationships (some betas are). However, there are plenty of betas who are incels.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
BeExcellent
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You are sort of demonstrating the point @Lookatu and others are making. Why mention “nice guys finish last” after stating (correctly I believe) that a man needs boundaries without being rude.
The essence of kindness is adherence to your boundaries and standards without being a jerk. Has nothing whatsoever to do with the proverbial “nice guys”....
Ok glad you clarified that. My thought is in alignment with yours.
I believe @SW15 was using it as a label more than a description. Maybe I'm confused but I think you, SW15 and I are basically saying the same thing.
BeExcellent
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Agreed. It’s a nuanced thing. Sometimes the thinking around here is too binary and sometimes it mis associates things. It’s not semantics. It’s a subtle but important difference. Not everyone on the thread seems to grasp that.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Serenity
Moderator
Nothing just by itself will get you laid, several positive qualities together significantly improves chances though. I didn't suggest anyone should become a one dimensional personality, only that being kind on top of everything else is certainly not a disadvantage.
metalwater
Master Don Juan
doing this takes a hell of a lot more strength. it is easier to be a jerk, and to a point get the same results. only the other high character respects this choice.
needy and desperate is the default, even lower than a jerk.