Could "kindness game" really work?

[2Rocky]

Ok, let's make this simple. When was the last time a girl fvcked you because you were kind?

I think the article was focusing on LTR's to be honest....

 

[samspade]

First: Anybody can get laid. It happens to wussy guys and total a$$holes. It doesn't ratify their personality types. Don't put so much stock into it.

Second, "nice" vs. "kind" is just semantics. You're either self-respecting, or you're not. By now you should know that being "nice" to others doesn't mean you're being true to yourself or to others for that matter, or being good or honorable or masculine.

Third, being a brusque a$$hole doesn't mean you will get laid more, either. I've seen this type. Desperate to throw their balls around, talk loud, bark orders, dress people down. It doesn't mean shyt. These guys can just as easily be trapped in sexless marriages. (Seen it.) Again, it's about self-respect, not being some version of alpha you saw in a Hollywood movie.

Women aren't stupid. They can see through a lot of b.s. - they're built to filter it. Yeah they get duped by "bad" guys but so do a lot of men get duped - look around these boards. People on SS are saying that quiet mousey feminine wife material virgins land the man, but clearly that's not the case with a lot of dudes here, lol. So if you told a bytchy girl that she'd laugh you off too.

Be comfortable with your nature, push your comfort zone, but be 100% true to yourself and the women will follow. That's what's worked for me. As long as my experiences with women are a net positive, I don't care what adjective they use.

 

[Velasco]

Women aren't stupid. They can see through a lot of b.s

proceeds to talk about how both men and women fall for bs all the time....

think goldilocks. Just enough jerkboy + just enough loving kindness that hits the sweet spot.

 

[BeExcellent]

Sure. Ass hole types get laid. But for women with options why would I choose a Jack ass who is an embarrassment to ME after a while when I can be seen with a solid man who commands respect among men and women without being a Jack ass?

Answer: It’s not something I will tolerate long term. I have options and can go out with someone else.

Listen. Jack ass behavior arises from insecurity. Insecurity is a turn off. Plenty of otherwise great looking men who get laid easily are insecure. In fact part of what drives endless skirt chasing is the need for external validation, aka insecurity. These are the same type men who think being kind or generous is going to get them run over by a woman. They are insecure and therefore put too much stock in how the woman they are with bolsters their self esteem because they are not internally validated.

Kindness indicates a solid internally validated self respecting man. Rudeness indicates insecurity. Kindness is indicative of solidity which women crave. The solid men I know are all kind and generous. And they are NOT pushovers and they do NOT supplicate or pedestalize women. Comparing to Hollywood actors or sports stars is silly. Many of these men are egocentric and that, like rudeness is borne of insecurity.

The most insecure and neurotic man I ever knew was a 6’4” Argentine Italian professional runway model whose image appeared in GQ. I was stunned to discover this. He was kind to people close to him & beyond that generally extraordinarily insecure.

Kindness indicates inner strength and self esteem. That’s why women consider it so valuable. It indicates a real high value man.

 

[samspade]

proceeds to talk about how both men and women fall for bs all the time....

think goldilocks. Just enough jerkboy + just enough loving kindness that hits the sweet spot.

Anybody can. The point is, don't bullshyt yourself. Then you don't have to worry about formulas and routines. Women have a nose for value.

 

[Robert28]

If your goal is to end up in the friend zone.

The advice women give us purposefully directed at steering you to that. Women deny the friendzone exists but they really do secretly love it, they just have to deny it because the truth of it hurts their bottom line.

 

[SW15]

I'm sensing we have people that view kindness and being nice guy the same or different by different posters. It's a subtle difference but I believe it's important to distinguish for the sake of this discussion.

You seem to view it the same? I'm just trying to understand you and your view point in the right context.

I don't view it the same. A man needs boundaries but he doesn't need to be rude.

Nice guys finish last though. Nice guys are often beta males who are not respected if they are in relationships (some betas are). However, there are plenty of betas who are incels.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't view it the same. A man needs boundaries but he doesn't need to be rude.

Nice guys finish last though. Nice guys are often beta males who are not respected if they are in relationships (some betas are). However, there are plenty of betas who are incels.

You are sort of demonstrating the point @Lookatu and others are making. Why mention “nice guys finish last” after stating (correctly I believe) that a man needs boundaries without being rude.

The essence of kindness is adherence to your boundaries and standards without being a jerk. Has nothing whatsoever to do with the proverbial “nice guys”....

 

[Lookatu]

I don't view it the same. A man needs boundaries but he doesn't need to be rude.

Nice guys finish last though. Nice guys are often beta males who are not respected if they are in relationships (some betas are). However, there are plenty of betas who are incels.

Ok glad you clarified that. My thought is in alignment with yours.

 

[Lookatu]

You are sort of demonstrating the point @Lookatu and others are making. Why mention “nice guys finish last” after stating (correctly I believe) that a man needs boundaries without being rude.

The essence of kindness is adherence to your boundaries and standards without being a jerk. Has nothing whatsoever to do with the proverbial “nice guys”....

I believe @SW15 was using it as a label more than a description. Maybe I'm confused but I think you, SW15 and I are basically saying the same thing.

 

[BeExcellent]

I believe @SW15 was using it as a label. Maybe I'm confused but I think you, SW15 and I are basically saying the same thing.

Agreed. It’s a nuanced thing. Sometimes the thinking around here is too binary and sometimes it mis associates things. It’s not semantics. It’s a subtle but important difference. Not everyone on the thread seems to grasp that.

 

[2Rocky]

Hank you can be a kind guy first if you hold to your principles, and set your boundaries.

More than once a woman has come up to me and said "everyone here knows you. What's your deal?"
.

 

[Velasco]

again as 2rocky mentioned, article was about LTRs, in which 'kind, 'nice' 'sweet' is very valuable to girls.

 

[Serenity]

Ok, let's make this simple. When was the last time a girl fvcked you because you were kind?

Nothing just by itself will get you laid, several positive qualities together significantly improves chances though. I didn't suggest anyone should become a one dimensional personality, only that being kind on top of everything else is certainly not a disadvantage.

 

[metalwater]

There is nothing wrong with being a good person. There is everything wrong with being a needy desperate person.

Why people equate the two I will never know, they are completely independent of each other.

doing this takes a hell of a lot more strength. it is easier to be a jerk, and to a point get the same results. only the other high character respects this choice.

needy and desperate is the default, even lower than a jerk.