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Could a girl you already smashed tell you that she thinks you're attractive, but also says she's emotionally unavailable due to her ex be lying?

dude99

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We met, hung out once and made out, second time hung out again and smashed.

Then for about 3 weeks she'd come over, we'd smoke together, hook up(but not fvck, she didn't let me do that again).

Every single time she initiated our hangouts. She'd text me all the time, come from across the city to hang at my place etc.

Then one day she wasn't as receptive as usual, then she told me about her ex and whatnot.

She's "single", but only sees us as either dating or being friends. Is she playing games or should I take her words at face value?
I think you should just be too busy for a girl who is wasting your time.
 

dude99

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But playing me for what purpose? We slept together, that's it.

I didn't buy her gifts, give her rides or anything, she didn't benefit from me in any way.

I'm not even giving her attention or validation, I don't get it
She was bored and curious one night. You slept with her. It meant waaaaaay more to you than it did to her.

You were available. Plan A was busy. Just because a girl has sechs with you once doesnt mean she is into you. She was into being validated. You gave her that.
 

Focal core

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Most sane women don't have a need for the validation guy.
At first it seemed as if the OP was the fvckable guy. But then he got attached and downgraded himself.
Great point if op didn't notice this most important lines, it's his choice. I avoid women who cave on validation like a plague, I would say from my observation 50% were in those complete 3 sets of guy, 20% only for orbiters and genuine bf, only 30% were sane enought. These girl lacks nurturing and validation they received since on their childhood due to parenting fault ie. Pursuing careers than giving enought time to spend with their kids. This was carried by the adult child to continue seeking validation from others to convince themselves that they are lovable, thus depends on it to feel that they are lovable beings.

This women doesnt believed that she's lovable, any closeness will perceived as a threat (a defense mechanism} resulting in lost of attraction to partners and the distancing begins..

Too many of them in this world due to parents needs to prove themselves in career grounds leaving their child on despair depending on validation from others for a lifetime.

It's sad but this is what happened in this era we live in.
 

Epic Days

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no coming back from this ?
Only if you are bold like I told you to be. Even then it’s a little less that 50%. Learn from this. Don’t let her come over. You’re not her free ride. You are there for sex. But reversing her desire for you will take some serious courage.
Get it in your head, they are there for sex. If they are not? You are a tool.
 

Focal core

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Relationship and attraction strategies is always a template that were already programmed in us since our childhood.

Those old sayings, that water seeks its own level, and birds of a feather flock together are really true. We are in fact, magnetized to individuals who precisely match our own level of emotional development.

Sane with sane, insane with insane kind of like.

PUA to me is a crap, they just mimicking to be these insane guy to get into pants of hotter crazy sex damage girl. Closeness were avoided at all cost to win these girls, no matter how much you tried to keep the girl by playing games it will never works in a long run, you get cracking in your head and become a nut job too.
 
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Epic Days

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She sent me a text saying "Hey it's been a while, are you free tonight?"

I replied "Sup, it has. Not gonna be available tonight, I'll hit you up when I'm free."

I won't hit her up.
Yep. I want you. That’s what I want.

Say that.
 

dude99

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She sent me a text saying "Hey it's been a while, are you free tonight?"

I replied "Sup, it has. Not gonna be available tonight, I'll hit you up when I'm free."

I won't hit her up.
The only thing better would have been if you said "sorry, busy tonight. I've got a date. I'll hit you up when i'm free."

Other than that, excellent response. Show her she is not a priority in your life.
 

Abethatguy

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The only thing better would have been if you said "sorry, busy tonight. I've got a date. I'll hit you up when i'm free."

Other than that, excellent response. Show her she is not a priority in your life.
I’ll keep that in mind for next time
 

Robert28

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I had a friend that was in the same situation as the OP many years ago. She would string him along and act like they were together in public but he would never get any. He was convinced that she was afraid that sex would complicate things. So I decided to help him out by asking him if he wanted me to talk to her for him. He gave me the green light and I seeked her out and said "Do you have a minute? I want to talk about you and him." And her response was "Forget him. I want to talk about me and you." I really wanted to sleep with her but I didn't. It was probably because he was standing about 100 feet away from us observing. After that, my suspicions were right. My friend was a complete cuck.

There is always another guy that she is willing to fvck. On the spot. With no condoms. In every hole.

Since the beginning of time, there has always been 3 roles for guys to fulfill in a woman's ecosystem. The guy that they fvck, the cuck that they take home to meet mom, and the friend zone/validation guy. Most sane women don't have a need for the validation guy. But in 2019, demand is WAY UP for him. It's the golden age of attention wh0res and the men slaves that serve them.

At first it seemed as if the OP was the fvckable guy. But then he got attached and downgraded himself.
Holy hell this pretty much happened to me in my younger days and I didn’t even realize it! Basically the same thing happened to me as your friend, except she told me we were dating but would never give me sex. Which was weird because she would tell me about guys she’d hooked up with and stuff she did with guys she dated. I was a damn fool to stick with her knowing all this, especially the no sex thing but I guess it was a good hard lesson learned. She really would make me hangout with her and her parents, like go on trips and stuff, she’d be all flirty with me in public to let other girls know we were “together” but I wasn’t getting sex. It was as if I was in the friend zone but she said we were dating so I was in some weird dating limbo that I have no clue how to label.
 

dude99

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Holy hell this pretty much happened to me in my younger days and I didn’t even realize it! Basically the same thing happened to me as your friend, except she told me we were dating but would never give me sex. Which was weird because she would tell me about guys she’d hooked up with and stuff she did with guys she dated. I was a damn fool to stick with her knowing all this, especially the no sex thing but I guess it was a good hard lesson learned. She really would make me hangout with her and her parents, like go on trips and stuff, she’d be all flirty with me in public to let other girls know we were “together” but I wasn’t getting sex. It was as if I was in the friend zone but she said we were dating so I was in some weird dating limbo that I have no clue how to label.
Relationship purgatory. She has you tied down, but there is nothing in it for you.
 
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