"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Cool ways to answer the phone

Skilla_Staz

Master Don Juan
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Kerpal said:
"Talk dirty to me."

:crackup:

Ha after reading through all of the lame, retarded, ignorant ones, this one made me smile.


Add "baby" on the end and we've got a deal


As for how I answer the phone...

Cute girl = hey punk
Male friend = whats up man
Somebody I don't know = Hello?
Festive mood = Ayyyyyy
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Cruise

Senior Don Juan
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If I know it's a chick, I bring them immediately into my world with a question.

Something like:

1. Pick up phone
2. Immediately say, "Let me ask you a question."
3. Wait for them to say "What?"
4. Then say, "How would you tell a guy you're so deeply into him you can't contain yourself, and you just had to call him to ask if he could see you tonight behind closed doors?"
5. She'll usually just laugh, or she'll act weirded out and say something like, "I don't know."
6. In both cases, tell her, "Call me back and try again." And just hang up.

Another seed in the field my brothas.
 

Cloudtopsun2100

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FVCK YOU then hang up immediately... LOL I did that a few times after I pranked called people before caller ID came out and they *69d me..
 

Vulpine

Master Don Juan
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I hum or sing showtunes, sing songs, immitate characters, or sing catch-phrases from commercials. Then, at the main point I subsitute whatever word in the lyrics with "Hello" sung.

Usually, I have a second to customize it to whoever's calling and if I want to talk to them. Example: a slvt is calling...

"From the Valley of the Jolly - Ho, Ho, Ho... He-llo-o."
or,
"There's some HELLO'S in this house, there's some HELLO's in this house."

A hottie:
"Oooh, Aaah, OH! Poppin'-fresh Hellooo"

Random:
"Because, because, because, becaaaaaauuuse.... because of the wonderful things Heh-lo!"

Random:
(Lyrch from Addam's Family voice) "Youu Raang."

Random:
*in Johnny Cash karaoke mode* "I slipped and fell into the wet concrete HELLO."

Also, I have a simple VM message that I must've said 500 times before I recorded it, so I can answer the phone and mimmick it:

"Heeyy, it's Vulpine. Leave a message." *hang up, wait for call back, if none: call back and ask them why they called and didn't leave a message/what they wanted* The alternative is to see if they go for the fake "BEEEEP" and start leaving a message. :)

People get confused when you answer: "Diga!" or "Moshi, moshi."
 
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