Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
It's not as big a curse as you think it is. It's only a curse when get around somebody who is like you, and then it's really akward. But with someone who is ok with conversation, they LOVE someone like you. Why? Because 90% of the people you meet won't CARE what you have to say! That's why.Mr.Fantastic said:Thanks for the reply's dudes. I was thinking of taking some kind of conversation skills/public speaking class, has anyone done this?
Seriously, my conversation is lacking! I go out with girls and they do most of the talking! I just don't know what to say! I can respond pretty well, but i really do dry up in one on one situations! Not just with women too, with friends and girls that im not even interested in. Its a real curse.
Full article can be viewed here:Conversation is a just a game anyways. In fact, it's very much like a game of tennis. Imagine if you will, that you are playing tennis with your friend. Now imagine that your friend has a case of three tennis balls and you are out on the court. Casually, he lobs up the ball and serves it to you. Now, imagine if you just stood there and watched it go by and then just chuckled nervously. Ok, so your friend would get out another ball and lob it across the net again. Then imagine that, again, you just let it go by. One by one until finally after three balls, your friend no longer has any balls to serve. They are all on your side of the court.
Conversation is exactly like that. Imagine if someone comes up to you and says something to you and you just grunt out the bare minimum of "um hmmm" or "fine". You are essentially letting that ball fly past you and eventually, after so many tries your friend will be out of "balls" or intros to conversation. The key is to see the ball coming and be prepared to return it and volley it back and forth. I mean, eventually the ball will get by one of you, but then you have a couple of other balls (or topics) in reserve that can fill out a nice conversation before you run dry.
Let me give you an example of "holding the ball" and letting a conversation die:
Her: Hey, how are you today?
You: Fine.
Her: Uh, did you watch the game last night?
You: Yes.
Her: I was so psyched about how that one guy hit that triple.
You: *nervous laugh* Yeah, me too
Her: *awkwardly* Well, I better go.
You: Ok
Do you see how "You" held the ball? Now, let me give you an example of how to "return her serve":
Her: Hey, how are you today?
You: I'm pretty good. How are you?
Her: Ok I guess. Did you watch the game last night?
You: Yeah, it was awesome. Did you see the game-wining triple?
Her: Yes! I was so psyched about that.
You: Yeah, me too. Derek Jeter is awesome. I met him one time.
Her: You did? You are soooo lucky!
You: etc. etc. etc.
Do you see how much smoother and easier that played out? You led the conversation and captivated her interest. And you didn't have to say anything monumental. You just had to say the first thing that popped into your head (that is appropriate for the level of friendship of course).