"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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parkthebus

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So I went to a club and bar (good one rather than a regulars spot) for the first time last night. Noticed a girl smiling at me across the bar so I went over and spoke to her. Conversation wasn't awkard or anything but wasn't exactly flowing either. Have you got any go to topics or lines that you use to break the ice?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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RangerMIke

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Good conversation starter if you can't think of anything else is "How did you find out about this place and how did you get here?" That usually gets the ball rolling, it will also let you know if she is there with someone else so you don't waste too much time with a chick who is taken. If she likes you then you really don't have to worry about carrying a conversation. She's going to do some of the lifting. If you find yourself having to work to hard to keep conversation flowing, then it typically means she is not interested enough to put any effort in. Best at that point to just move on.
 
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Bible_Belt

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I like to get a girl to tell me about the ridiculous pick-up lines they hear and all the other things men do to embarrass themselves while trying to hit on her. That topic is a good one both in person and online.
 

EyeBRollin

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Small talk.

Keep it short and to the point. Throw in a few jokes here and there. You're just there to get a date or a number to set one up in the future. Don't linger there longer than a few minutes.
 

Reykhel

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Small talk.

Keep it short and to the point. Throw in a few jokes here and there. You're just there to get a date or a number to set one up in the future. Don't linger there longer than a few minutes.
So he's in a club or a bar....and his objective is to get the number and bail....without the girl???? And he should dance down the street yelling 'I got the number! I got the number! Oh happy day!!!' CLUELESS.

Plan A is: to go for the lay. Kiss close, escalate, bounce.

Plan B: if logistics don't permit plan A, get the number, which is no more than a time bridge....then back to plan A.

@
parkthebus : look up Bobby Río Conversational Escalation. Good tips on Conversational hooks and threads.
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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