"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Conversation Topics

parkthebus

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So I went to a club and bar (good one rather than a regulars spot) for the first time last night. Noticed a girl smiling at me across the bar so I went over and spoke to her. Conversation wasn't awkard or anything but wasn't exactly flowing either. Have you got any go to topics or lines that you use to break the ice?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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RangerMIke

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Good conversation starter if you can't think of anything else is "How did you find out about this place and how did you get here?" That usually gets the ball rolling, it will also let you know if she is there with someone else so you don't waste too much time with a chick who is taken. If she likes you then you really don't have to worry about carrying a conversation. She's going to do some of the lifting. If you find yourself having to work to hard to keep conversation flowing, then it typically means she is not interested enough to put any effort in. Best at that point to just move on.
 
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Bible_Belt

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I like to get a girl to tell me about the ridiculous pick-up lines they hear and all the other things men do to embarrass themselves while trying to hit on her. That topic is a good one both in person and online.
 

EyeBRollin

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Small talk.

Keep it short and to the point. Throw in a few jokes here and there. You're just there to get a date or a number to set one up in the future. Don't linger there longer than a few minutes.
 

Reykhel

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Small talk.

Keep it short and to the point. Throw in a few jokes here and there. You're just there to get a date or a number to set one up in the future. Don't linger there longer than a few minutes.
So he's in a club or a bar....and his objective is to get the number and bail....without the girl???? And he should dance down the street yelling 'I got the number! I got the number! Oh happy day!!!' CLUELESS.

Plan A is: to go for the lay. Kiss close, escalate, bounce.

Plan B: if logistics don't permit plan A, get the number, which is no more than a time bridge....then back to plan A.

@
parkthebus : look up Bobby Río Conversational Escalation. Good tips on Conversational hooks and threads.
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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