"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Conversation sounds like an interview...

I

I'm in the Mood

Master Don Juan
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Hi guys,

I was fb chatting with a broad today from college and I'm always trying too hard to keep it going. At one point it went like this:

Her: We are talking about me a lot haha
Me: lol you can ask me about me anytime. I'm sure you're curious
Her: Haha I feel like I'm being interviewed
Me: lol how come?
*she changes the subject to something stupid*

Some background..I met her at a party about three weeks ago and we've been chatting on and off online. She recognized me because I'm an officer in an honors society that she's in. Haven't seen her since, but she's tryinna be a lawyer.

I'm not great with attractive conversations so...What are some techniques or beliefs I can adopt for myself to make things more fun and less interview-y?

It must have felt like a ****ing interview to her and that's not a way to hookup. Let me know if you have questions, want to see the full convo, etc.

Thanks!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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( . )( . )

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Her: Haha I feel like I'm being interviewed
You: Maybe you are. What else you got?

I don't see her saying that as a bad thing, she's basically qualifying herself to you. Bust her balls on it.

Nothing wrong with letting her yap on either. They say it should be 70% her 30% you anyway, I'd agree.

What are some techniques or beliefs I can adopt for myself to make things more fun and less interview-y?
Click to expand...
Up the light heartedness, take her less seriously perhaps.
 
Peaks&Valleys

Peaks&Valleys

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Her: Haha I feel like I'm being interviewed
Me: I feel like you are too. *$hit eating grin*, or a 0_o, or some other look that works for you.



I'm in the Mood said:
I was fb chatting with a broad today from college and I'm always trying too hard to keep it going.

I'm not great with attractive conversations so...

What are some techniques or beliefs I can adopt for myself to make things more fun and less interview?
Click to expand...
The key is not to try to keep it going.

Just be cool. Don't try too hard, if you do, she'll sense it, and/or you'll end up saying something stupid.

Let if flow. If it doesn't, then just sit back, with drink in hand....and let her talk. She'll either move on or start to qualify herself to you because you're not saying anything. Eventually she'll say something you can comment on. Don't be outcome dependent. Let her try to keep the conversation going :up:
 
N

NewJack

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Your sexual energy is driving forward a conversation that otherwise would progress more slowly, with more silences, open spaces, ambiguity. She senses you are trying to get something from her, and of course you are.

You could try to relate to her as a friend, rather than mostly as a love-interest. This would mix in some of the calming, smoothing-out energy that friendship brings. Essentially chill out a bit on it. Try to hook into that part of yourself that will inevitably surface when, later in the relationship, you have successfully "stormed her castle" and now don't care about it anymore. Who will you be then? Be that for her now. The congruence will sexify the relationship for her. Damn, I'm not making any sense, am I?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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I

I'm in the Mood

Master Don Juan
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Hmm thanks guys, I see what went wrong. Asking her "how come?" was because I was afraid I was boring her (approval seeking). Also the question took it instantly into "logic mode" and I lost an opportunity to be playful.

Thanks for your responses.
 
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