Conversation sounds like an interview...

[I'm in the Mood]

Hi guys,

I was fb chatting with a broad today from college and I'm always trying too hard to keep it going. At one point it went like this:

Her: We are talking about me a lot haha
Me: lol you can ask me about me anytime. I'm sure you're curious
Her: Haha I feel like I'm being interviewed
Me: lol how come?
*she changes the subject to something stupid*

Some background..I met her at a party about three weeks ago and we've been chatting on and off online. She recognized me because I'm an officer in an honors society that she's in. Haven't seen her since, but she's tryinna be a lawyer.

I'm not great with attractive conversations so...What are some techniques or beliefs I can adopt for myself to make things more fun and less interview-y?

It must have felt like a ****ing interview to her and that's not a way to hookup. Let me know if you have questions, want to see the full convo, etc.

Thanks!

 

[BraddH]

Give me the fall conco before any judgement or advice I give

 

[( . )( . )]

Her: Haha I feel like I'm being interviewed
You: Maybe you are. What else you got?

I don't see her saying that as a bad thing, she's basically qualifying herself to you. Bust her balls on it.

Nothing wrong with letting her yap on either. They say it should be 70% her 30% you anyway, I'd agree.

What are some techniques or beliefs I can adopt for myself to make things more fun and less interview-y?

Up the light heartedness, take her less seriously perhaps.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Her: Haha I feel like I'm being interviewed
Me: I feel like you are too. *$hit eating grin*, or a 0_o, or some other look that works for you.

I was fb chatting with a broad today from college and I'm always trying too hard to keep it going.

I'm not great with attractive conversations so...

What are some techniques or beliefs I can adopt for myself to make things more fun and less interview?

The key is not to try to keep it going.

Just be cool. Don't try too hard, if you do, she'll sense it, and/or you'll end up saying something stupid.

Let if flow. If it doesn't, then just sit back, with drink in hand....and let her talk. She'll either move on or start to qualify herself to you because you're not saying anything. Eventually she'll say something you can comment on. Don't be outcome dependent. Let her try to keep the conversation going

 

[NewJack]

Your sexual energy is driving forward a conversation that otherwise would progress more slowly, with more silences, open spaces, ambiguity. She senses you are trying to get something from her, and of course you are.

You could try to relate to her as a friend, rather than mostly as a love-interest. This would mix in some of the calming, smoothing-out energy that friendship brings. Essentially chill out a bit on it. Try to hook into that part of yourself that will inevitably surface when, later in the relationship, you have successfully "stormed her castle" and now don't care about it anymore. Who will you be then? Be that for her now. The congruence will sexify the relationship for her. Damn, I'm not making any sense, am I?

 

[Purefilth]

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

Click the link and scroll down to step 7^^

DJ Bible has plenty of tips to offer.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Hmm thanks guys, I see what went wrong. Asking her "how come?" was because I was afraid I was boring her (approval seeking). Also the question took it instantly into "logic mode" and I lost an opportunity to be playful.

Thanks for your responses.