hey I suffer(ed) from social anxiety, and in some recent cases I still have.
It was hard for me... I went through a whole year in one of my high school classes without saying more than 20 sentences during the whole damn year.
SERIOUSLY.
But it is all in the head bro.
In most cases social anxiety is caused by not knowing how to initiate and carry on a conversation and how to be the leader of one. But you have to learn how to.... either with experience.... or books.
I have spent over 150 dollars on communication ebooks, paperback books on conversation, and making freinds. Only a few of them made an impact over me, and really taught me how to make freinds.
I don't know if I would have ever figured it out if I had not read those books but I sure know it would have taken a long time because of my lack of not wanting to find out by blindly doing self made techniques or finding my own way to initiate conversations and make freinds.
I recommend getting a book called The Sedona Method. Work on your subconscious. I recommend working on your psyche.... don't spend money on a psychologist. That could be too costly.
I got where I am at by reading tons of books and advice.
The problem is, that you have ingrained in your head that you are a shy person. Labeling it as a disorder made it even worse, and you thought to yourself "im going to have this forever bla bla bla". Its just negative self talk and false beleifs. Yea the beleifs may be true.... but the only reason why they are true is because now you EXPECT to be shy and get anxiety when you talk to people. You WANT to beleive that you have it, and you have to let go of these beleifs.
Here is something that is working for me. It is from the Sedona Method.
Just find a comfortable place to sit and follow these steps.
1. Let yourself remember the feelings you get when you get this "social anxiety". Make the feelings as clear as possible. Don't deny the feeling, don't try and shorten the feeling, because you have to FEEL the feeling you get in full force. Feel the sensations you get. Don't get mad, don't judge the feeling, don't even THINK, just get the feeling you get when you get social anxiety, and feel it in full force.
2. Ask yourself "Do I want to fix this problem?" Don't answer the question, just feel the sensations you get. Don't think, just feel.
3. Ask yourself "Could I welcome this feeling?" Ask this questions several times to yourself, until you feel that it is OK to have this feeling. This questions helps you let go of the judgment you do when you get this feeling. A feel is only a feeling, you may not like it but to resist it just feeds the feeling even more, and it will cause negativity.
4. Then ask yourself "Could I let of my desire to fix this problem?" As this question to yourself several times before you feel you have released your desire to fix your problem. Again, don't think, just feel the feelings you get. Feel the feelings of the desire to fix your problem wash away. Make a visualization that you think would work.
Example: Feel the spots where you think tension in your body is occuring. The spots could be big, could be small, doesn't matter as long as you make the spot the whole vicinity of the place you are feeling tension. Imagine that these spots are black or any other dark color and imagine the spots of tension feeling cold. Then as you keep asking yourself the question in this step, imagine those spots turning turn into a bright warm yellow like the sun (or any other bright color you'd like) and imagine feeling these spots getting warm and untense; imagine them getting comfortable.
5. Finally ask yourself "Could I let go of the expectation that I am going to have this problem again?" or "Could I let go of wanting to beleive that I have this problem?" Keep asking yourself this several times and just feel the sensations your get. Feel yourself letting go of the social anxiety.
6. I just decided to add this extra step for more releasing of limiting feelings. Ask yourself "Could I let go of wanting my own approval?" This is so you can let go of your desire to gain approval from other people, that way your happiness won't depend on approval from others. Like all the other questions just feel the feelings and sensations you are getting while you are asking these questions and imagine your tenseness, and those negative feelings wash away and you getting comfortable.
Don't be surprised if at the end you feel more at peace with yourself. That is the result you are going to get each time you do this process.
You can do this process as many times as you want. I recommend doing this process at least once a day for 2 weeks. After doing this process you will notice your habit of getting social anxiety will simply diminish in time (or perhaps instantly right after you do this process the first time, like I did).
