Contemplating an exit strategy

[Bingo-Player]

Been with GF for just over a year recently moved in with me, she’s got some great qualities and would do pretty much anything I asked her to

BUT

Im starting to find the attraction between us dwindle , she’s fairly young (23) and has made some poor decisions In life built some debt , dead end job in a a company which has just gone bust , and deep down harbours a very childish mentality

Example - still sleeps with childhood soft toy , the world stops when she is feeling under the weather for whatever reason which is quite often , ignores problems in the hope they will disappear , seems to find it difficult to motivate herself , hides in bed when somethings going wrong

Her parents are extremely “easy going “ and are guilty of babying her they still see her as a child and not a 23 year old woman

Ive tried several methods to try to motivate and encourage her to improve her situation but instead of taking my advice on board it just goes in one year and out the other

whilst all this is going on our sex life is struggling , im finding myself getting bored checking other chicks out and longing for a fling

ultimately I just want her to improve herself and “grow up” as I have done all my life

I feel its slightly unfair to end the relationship purely because she’s having a tough time as she is a good girl

problem is im not entirely convinced she’s got the mental strength to do it

ive said if she hasn’t improved her situation by this time next year im going to leave hopefully this will be enough to kick her A$$ into gear

anyone got any experience in a relationship like this ?

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Been with GF for just over a year recently moved in with me, she’s got some great qualities and would do pretty much anything I asked her to

BUT

Im starting to find the attraction between us dwindle , she’s fairly young (23) and has made some poor decisions In life built some debt , dead end job in a a company which has just gone bust , and deep down harbours a very childish mentality

Example - still sleeps with childhood soft toy , the world stops when she is feeling under the weather for whatever reason which is quite often , ignores problems in the hope they will disappear , seems to find it difficult to motivate herself , hides in bed when somethings going wrong

Her parents are extremely “easy going “ and are guilty of babying her they still see her as a child and not a 23 year old woman

Ive tried several methods to try to motivate and encourage her to improve her situation but instead of taking my advice on board it just goes in one year and out the other

whilst all this is going on our sex life is struggling , im finding myself getting bored checking other chicks out and longing for a fling

ultimately I just want her to improve herself and “grow up” as I have done all my life

I feel its slightly unfair to end the relationship purely because she’s having a tough time as she is a good girl

problem is im not entirely convinced she’s got the mental strength to do it

ive said if she hasn’t improved her situation by this time next year im going to leave hopefully this will be enough to kick her A$$ into gear

anyone got any experience in a relationship like this ?

The most accurate indicator of future behavior is past behavior.

And I think you know that she won’t change. So you have to figure out why you’re staying in it at this point rather than moving on.

-Augustus-

 

[Ranger]

Been with GF for just over a year recently moved in with me, she’s got some great qualities and would do pretty much anything I asked her to

BUT

Im starting to find the attraction between us dwindle , she’s fairly young (23) and has made some poor decisions In life built some debt , dead end job in a a company which has just gone bust , and deep down harbours a very childish mentality

Example - still sleeps with childhood soft toy , the world stops when she is feeling under the weather for whatever reason which is quite often , ignores problems in the hope they will disappear , seems to find it difficult to motivate herself , hides in bed when somethings going wrong

Her parents are extremely “easy going “ and are guilty of babying her they still see her as a child and not a 23 year old woman

Ive tried several methods to try to motivate and encourage her to improve her situation but instead of taking my advice on board it just goes in one year and out the other

whilst all this is going on our sex life is struggling , im finding myself getting bored checking other chicks out and longing for a fling

ultimately I just want her to improve herself and “grow up” as I have done all my life

I feel its slightly unfair to end the relationship purely because she’s having a tough time as she is a good girl

problem is im not entirely convinced she’s got the mental strength to do it

ive said if she hasn’t improved her situation by this time next year im going to leave hopefully this will be enough to kick her A$$ into gear

anyone got any experience in a relationship like this ?

Do you believe that other women are fundamentally different than this?

 

[Spaz]

Been with GF for just over a year recently moved in with me, she’s got some great qualities and would do pretty much anything I asked her to

BUT

Im starting to find the attraction between us dwindle , she’s fairly young (23) and has made some poor decisions In life built some debt , dead end job in a a company which has just gone bust , and deep down harbours a very childish mentality

Example - still sleeps with childhood soft toy , the world stops when she is feeling under the weather for whatever reason which is quite often , ignores problems in the hope they will disappear , seems to find it difficult to motivate herself , hides in bed when somethings going wrong

Her parents are extremely “easy going “ and are guilty of babying her they still see her as a child and not a 23 year old woman

Ive tried several methods to try to motivate and encourage her to improve her situation but instead of taking my advice on board it just goes in one year and out the other

whilst all this is going on our sex life is struggling , im finding myself getting bored checking other chicks out and longing for a fling

ultimately I just want her to improve herself and “grow up” as I have done all my life

I feel its slightly unfair to end the relationship purely because she’s having a tough time as she is a good girl

problem is im not entirely convinced she’s got the mental strength to do it

ive said if she hasn’t improved her situation by this time next year im going to leave hopefully this will be enough to kick her A$$ into gear

anyone got any experience in a relationship like this ?

Every single woman regardless of her age is a small kid.

Treat any woman as such and be amazed by how easy it becomes in any interactions.

As prove, go look at the recent postings by our resident 50 year old female poster.

 

[highSpeed]

Do you believe that other women are fundamentally different than this?

Most likely not but I suppose if OP feels that way, it's his job to keep looking until he finds something that works for him. I certainly wouldn't encourage him to settle.

 

[stovepipe]

Judging from your post it sure does sound like you know deep down what is best for you, but you're holding on to hope, not reality. From my experience, when a relationship gets to the point where you're at now, better to leave, than to hold on to hope your partner will change.

 

[princelydeeds]

Why wait a year?
Tell her it's not working and go.
She's 23, she's far from being mentally ready for marriage or anything serious.
She's a child, you aren't waiting for her to change you're waiting for her to grow up...

 

[Desdinova]

If she's turning out to be a burden, it's time to fire her ass out the door.
If she's taking away from your happiness instead of adding to your happiness, it's time to fire her ass out the door.

ultimately I just want her to improve herself and “grow up” as I have done all my life

By age 23, she's done pretty much all the maturing that she's going to do. In other words, she's going to pretty much stay the way she is. It's up to you to decide if you can put up with her behaviour for the rest of your life, or if it's going to ruin your opinion of her.

Remember, women are not going to make their lives fact-based and goal-oriented just because they're adults. They're going to base all their decisions on how they feel, and that's something you'll need to make work for yourself regardless of what woman you keep around for the long haul.

 

[marvinlfloresq]

AWALT, for one thing. She's supposed to compliment your life, so do not waste energy trying to change her, she's 23, nothing wrong I see in her behavior. You are always going to find "Other" women desirable, that's how it is. Now, if your sex life is declining, well, that's on you.

Start doing things that are exciting, go skydiving with her, or salsa lessons, or something fun. Get the competition anxiety in her to spark again. Get a promotion at work, or hit the gym. There are all sorts of things to do to get her wanting you again. Good luck pal.