"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Cons to this question?

Jet

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There's this cute nurse at work that I had a fun encounter last night--made her laugh like crazy. She's married but she was asking me various questions and just really friendly. She's totally my type. Anyways, afterward I had the idea of next time she sees me, saying something like:
"You seem like a lot of fun. So where would I meet a girl like you huh?"

That seems like it could open a lot of doors. From conveying I'm single (most girls are shocked when they find out), to maybe her suggesting a nice friend of hers I should meet, to even her taking more interest in me. At the very least she'd be flattered I would think and it's not like I'd be hitting on her or anything.

Plus it really is a genuine question. I do need to find more fun things to do around here. I'm pretty clueless about that.

Thoughts?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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cffrmw

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I say go for it. Worst case scenario (which probably won't happen) is it's a little awkward. Most likely she's flattered, possibly hooks you up with one of her single friends. I really do hope you're not hitting on her though, I think that married women are a line that's best left uncrossed.
 

Jet

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Nah not trying to hit on her or anything. She just seems really cool and doesn't seem to be the type that just sits around in the house on her days off--probably has cool friends and knows fun stuff to do around here. I'm not gonna overthink it, but yeah I ask because it's very delicate making friends with a non-single woman you know?

I guess if I had to verbalize what I want to convey to her is that I think she's attractive (but not really interested in her/persuing that etc.) and a person I'd want to be around. And that's the question that popped in my head last night.
 

sodbuster

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Ask her if she has a sister like her. Puts her on notice you aren't after HER,but you like her type. She may have a sister or friends that she will think about then.
 

5string

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So she's totally your type and she might even take an interest in you? Sounds to me like you want to go further with the MARRIED woman. I hope that's not the case. Are you really are just trying to get some doors opened with her friends and such? That's fine if so. If you are trying to nail a married woman, you may be in for a whole boatload of trouble. That's what I don't get about some guys on the forum. There are tons of single woman, and guys still mess around with the married ones. All that does is enable their cheating, ruin familes and put your own health at risk. You guys can flame me if you want, but I say don't get intimate with married chicks. It's just low life behavior that ends in pain for others, including you.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Jet

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sodbuster said:
Ask her if she has a sister like her. Puts her on notice you aren't after HER,but you like her type. She may have a sister or friends that she will think about then.
Mmm, I like that twist. Great idea.
 

Jet

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5string said:
So she's totally your type and she might even take an interest in you? Sounds to me like you want to go further with the MARRIED woman. I hope that's not the case. Are you really are just trying to get some doors opened with her friends and such? That's fine if so. If you are trying to nail a married woman, you may be in for a whole boatload of trouble. That's what I don't get about some guys on the forum. There are tons of single woman, and guys still mess around with the married ones. All that does is enable their cheating, ruin familes and put your own health at risk. You guys can flame me if you want, but I say don't get intimate with married chicks. It's just low life behavior that ends in pain for others, including you.
Yeah. An interest. Not a sexual interest, as I pretty well already explained. Just trying to build social circle/make friends is all--in this situation anyways. She's cute. And cool. What better way than to possibly meet more cute and/or cool people by meeting one and taking an interest in her and vice versa?
 

5string

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Jet said:
Yeah. An interest. Not a sexual interest, as I pretty well already explained. Just trying to build social circle/make friends is all--in this situation anyways. She's cute. And cool. What better way than to possibly meet more cute and/or cool people by meeting one and taking an interest in her and vice versa?
If that's the case, get her to find you some plates to spin. Nothing wrong with that at all. Just don't escalate with a married woman. Nothing but pain and sorrow for those who do this. Bro code? Sorry, this one kind of stung me a bit. I am married to a nurse and she's way hot. If I came home and found her with another man, well, I don't know how I would react. I do however think it would be way scary for both her and her "friend" when I walk through the door. Not only would her "friend" be at risk physically, she would get kicked out, the marriage would be over and the family ruined. Do you guys get it now? Don't go there. :nono:
 

Iceberg

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The only con is that it's kinda lame to have pre-planned comments.

Just let your flirting work its way into the conversation naturally.
 

Jet

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Iceberg said:
The only con is that it's kinda lame to have pre-planned comments.

Just let your flirting work its way into the conversation naturally.
Yeah, I was thinking that too. That alone and the anticipation can cause self-consciousness and I'd much rather live in the moment.
No one said it's a bad thing to say so at the very least I can feel good about that. Next time hopefully I'll think of something like that at the time, rather than after the fact..
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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