"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Cons to this question?

Jet

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There's this cute nurse at work that I had a fun encounter last night--made her laugh like crazy. She's married but she was asking me various questions and just really friendly. She's totally my type. Anyways, afterward I had the idea of next time she sees me, saying something like:
"You seem like a lot of fun. So where would I meet a girl like you huh?"

That seems like it could open a lot of doors. From conveying I'm single (most girls are shocked when they find out), to maybe her suggesting a nice friend of hers I should meet, to even her taking more interest in me. At the very least she'd be flattered I would think and it's not like I'd be hitting on her or anything.

Plus it really is a genuine question. I do need to find more fun things to do around here. I'm pretty clueless about that.

Thoughts?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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cffrmw

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I say go for it. Worst case scenario (which probably won't happen) is it's a little awkward. Most likely she's flattered, possibly hooks you up with one of her single friends. I really do hope you're not hitting on her though, I think that married women are a line that's best left uncrossed.
 

Jet

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Nah not trying to hit on her or anything. She just seems really cool and doesn't seem to be the type that just sits around in the house on her days off--probably has cool friends and knows fun stuff to do around here. I'm not gonna overthink it, but yeah I ask because it's very delicate making friends with a non-single woman you know?

I guess if I had to verbalize what I want to convey to her is that I think she's attractive (but not really interested in her/persuing that etc.) and a person I'd want to be around. And that's the question that popped in my head last night.
 

sodbuster

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Ask her if she has a sister like her. Puts her on notice you aren't after HER,but you like her type. She may have a sister or friends that she will think about then.
 

5string

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So she's totally your type and she might even take an interest in you? Sounds to me like you want to go further with the MARRIED woman. I hope that's not the case. Are you really are just trying to get some doors opened with her friends and such? That's fine if so. If you are trying to nail a married woman, you may be in for a whole boatload of trouble. That's what I don't get about some guys on the forum. There are tons of single woman, and guys still mess around with the married ones. All that does is enable their cheating, ruin familes and put your own health at risk. You guys can flame me if you want, but I say don't get intimate with married chicks. It's just low life behavior that ends in pain for others, including you.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Jet

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sodbuster said:
Ask her if she has a sister like her. Puts her on notice you aren't after HER,but you like her type. She may have a sister or friends that she will think about then.
Mmm, I like that twist. Great idea.
 

Jet

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5string said:
So she's totally your type and she might even take an interest in you? Sounds to me like you want to go further with the MARRIED woman. I hope that's not the case. Are you really are just trying to get some doors opened with her friends and such? That's fine if so. If you are trying to nail a married woman, you may be in for a whole boatload of trouble. That's what I don't get about some guys on the forum. There are tons of single woman, and guys still mess around with the married ones. All that does is enable their cheating, ruin familes and put your own health at risk. You guys can flame me if you want, but I say don't get intimate with married chicks. It's just low life behavior that ends in pain for others, including you.
Yeah. An interest. Not a sexual interest, as I pretty well already explained. Just trying to build social circle/make friends is all--in this situation anyways. She's cute. And cool. What better way than to possibly meet more cute and/or cool people by meeting one and taking an interest in her and vice versa?
 

5string

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Jet said:
Yeah. An interest. Not a sexual interest, as I pretty well already explained. Just trying to build social circle/make friends is all--in this situation anyways. She's cute. And cool. What better way than to possibly meet more cute and/or cool people by meeting one and taking an interest in her and vice versa?
If that's the case, get her to find you some plates to spin. Nothing wrong with that at all. Just don't escalate with a married woman. Nothing but pain and sorrow for those who do this. Bro code? Sorry, this one kind of stung me a bit. I am married to a nurse and she's way hot. If I came home and found her with another man, well, I don't know how I would react. I do however think it would be way scary for both her and her "friend" when I walk through the door. Not only would her "friend" be at risk physically, she would get kicked out, the marriage would be over and the family ruined. Do you guys get it now? Don't go there. :nono:
 

Iceberg

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The only con is that it's kinda lame to have pre-planned comments.

Just let your flirting work its way into the conversation naturally.
 

Jet

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Iceberg said:
The only con is that it's kinda lame to have pre-planned comments.

Just let your flirting work its way into the conversation naturally.
Yeah, I was thinking that too. That alone and the anticipation can cause self-consciousness and I'd much rather live in the moment.
No one said it's a bad thing to say so at the very least I can feel good about that. Next time hopefully I'll think of something like that at the time, rather than after the fact..
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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