Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Cons to this question?

Jet

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There's this cute nurse at work that I had a fun encounter last night--made her laugh like crazy. She's married but she was asking me various questions and just really friendly. She's totally my type. Anyways, afterward I had the idea of next time she sees me, saying something like:
"You seem like a lot of fun. So where would I meet a girl like you huh?"

That seems like it could open a lot of doors. From conveying I'm single (most girls are shocked when they find out), to maybe her suggesting a nice friend of hers I should meet, to even her taking more interest in me. At the very least she'd be flattered I would think and it's not like I'd be hitting on her or anything.

Plus it really is a genuine question. I do need to find more fun things to do around here. I'm pretty clueless about that.

Thoughts?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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cffrmw

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I say go for it. Worst case scenario (which probably won't happen) is it's a little awkward. Most likely she's flattered, possibly hooks you up with one of her single friends. I really do hope you're not hitting on her though, I think that married women are a line that's best left uncrossed.
 

Jet

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Nah not trying to hit on her or anything. She just seems really cool and doesn't seem to be the type that just sits around in the house on her days off--probably has cool friends and knows fun stuff to do around here. I'm not gonna overthink it, but yeah I ask because it's very delicate making friends with a non-single woman you know?

I guess if I had to verbalize what I want to convey to her is that I think she's attractive (but not really interested in her/persuing that etc.) and a person I'd want to be around. And that's the question that popped in my head last night.
 

sodbuster

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Ask her if she has a sister like her. Puts her on notice you aren't after HER,but you like her type. She may have a sister or friends that she will think about then.
 

5string

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So she's totally your type and she might even take an interest in you? Sounds to me like you want to go further with the MARRIED woman. I hope that's not the case. Are you really are just trying to get some doors opened with her friends and such? That's fine if so. If you are trying to nail a married woman, you may be in for a whole boatload of trouble. That's what I don't get about some guys on the forum. There are tons of single woman, and guys still mess around with the married ones. All that does is enable their cheating, ruin familes and put your own health at risk. You guys can flame me if you want, but I say don't get intimate with married chicks. It's just low life behavior that ends in pain for others, including you.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Jet

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sodbuster said:
Ask her if she has a sister like her. Puts her on notice you aren't after HER,but you like her type. She may have a sister or friends that she will think about then.
Mmm, I like that twist. Great idea.
 

Jet

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5string said:
So she's totally your type and she might even take an interest in you? Sounds to me like you want to go further with the MARRIED woman. I hope that's not the case. Are you really are just trying to get some doors opened with her friends and such? That's fine if so. If you are trying to nail a married woman, you may be in for a whole boatload of trouble. That's what I don't get about some guys on the forum. There are tons of single woman, and guys still mess around with the married ones. All that does is enable their cheating, ruin familes and put your own health at risk. You guys can flame me if you want, but I say don't get intimate with married chicks. It's just low life behavior that ends in pain for others, including you.
Yeah. An interest. Not a sexual interest, as I pretty well already explained. Just trying to build social circle/make friends is all--in this situation anyways. She's cute. And cool. What better way than to possibly meet more cute and/or cool people by meeting one and taking an interest in her and vice versa?
 

5string

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Jet said:
Yeah. An interest. Not a sexual interest, as I pretty well already explained. Just trying to build social circle/make friends is all--in this situation anyways. She's cute. And cool. What better way than to possibly meet more cute and/or cool people by meeting one and taking an interest in her and vice versa?
If that's the case, get her to find you some plates to spin. Nothing wrong with that at all. Just don't escalate with a married woman. Nothing but pain and sorrow for those who do this. Bro code? Sorry, this one kind of stung me a bit. I am married to a nurse and she's way hot. If I came home and found her with another man, well, I don't know how I would react. I do however think it would be way scary for both her and her "friend" when I walk through the door. Not only would her "friend" be at risk physically, she would get kicked out, the marriage would be over and the family ruined. Do you guys get it now? Don't go there. :nono:
 

Iceberg

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The only con is that it's kinda lame to have pre-planned comments.

Just let your flirting work its way into the conversation naturally.
 

Jet

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Iceberg said:
The only con is that it's kinda lame to have pre-planned comments.

Just let your flirting work its way into the conversation naturally.
Yeah, I was thinking that too. That alone and the anticipation can cause self-consciousness and I'd much rather live in the moment.
No one said it's a bad thing to say so at the very least I can feel good about that. Next time hopefully I'll think of something like that at the time, rather than after the fact..
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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