"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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confused

Paintballguy

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Hey guys, I've been reading DJ for awhile now I just never posted. Anyways to my story:

I started bowling in this league on wednesday nights for fun and money. So the first week I go there, I happen to notice this very attractive blonde girl about my age.

The first week, I just try and flirt with her and I managed to grab her eyes. Throughout the night, I notice her looking my way several times. Anyways, the next week im bowling and on the score sheets it gives birthdays. So I happen to notice her name (i knew her name from the bowling screens) on the birthdays. Later on that night before she leaves, I go up to her and wish her a happy birthday. I didnt think to ask for her number and it didnt really matter too much since I see her every week.

The following week she wasnt there unrelated to me, I guess she just couldnt make it.

So the next week rolls by and she is there again. Again, I notice her looking my way through the duration of the night. So I make the decision to see if she wants to go out. When she walks by, I stopped her and said this, "Can I ask you a question?" she replies by "Sure". Then I go onto say, "Would you like to go out one day?" and she just replies "Well I have a boyfriend". Then I just say ok, see you later.

The confusing part is why does she flirt with me if she has a boyfriend? Do you think there is anyway I still have a chance? I thought for sure I had it in the bag but thats the way it goes I guess.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jiro77

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I don't know why she keeps looking at you, but how much conversation have you actually had with her? If it was just "Happy Birthday!!", I think you need to establish more rapport with a girl first by talking with her before asking her out. If this was all that you had said to her, she might have been a little intimidated and uncomfortable because you are a complete stranger to her. If you don't feel too akward now, I would just act like nothing happened and just try to chat with her.
 

hyd

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try to be a bit more secure and challenging in your approach

saying this to a girl; "Would you like to go out one day?"

will sound in her ears like; I will wait my entire life for you untill you give me that one day out with you!

prolly sounds bit to needy for that chick, been there myself ;)

make 2/3 mins little chat than ask for phone or email dont say when you will call, or if you will ever call at all
 

Paintballguy

Master Don Juan
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It was a spontaneuos thing and I should of thought it out more. It doesnt really matter, I'll just play it off like nothing happens the next time i see her. Then I will go from there.
 
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