"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Confused nooby

-DJNoob-

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Hi there fellow Don Juan brothers,

Ok, so i'm a total nooby at this and just started to learn a few things (since yesterday lol). I have a question regarding the "Next" her decision i read about in the faq's for noobies.

Ok so it is clear to me that if in any case a girl does not show any sort of interest, like i do towords her.... then definitly "Next" her (duhhh). But what about this senario?:


I met a girl on the job, and started talking to her and taking an interest in her. Anyways as my job there was done i exchanged numbers with her ( i gave her my number and blackberry messenger number first and then she gave hers). I called her after 3 days and we had a nice laugh on the phone. After that i saw her a few more times at her workplace.

Ever since then we started texting almost everyday (i initially start the conversation most of the time), and i asked her out. Now the interesting part comes, well at least for me, being a nooby at this and all. She neither said no or yes to my request to go out but instead said this:

"I don't go out much, but my birthday is on (x) day and if i do something i will invite you to come for sure".

Now if im not mistaken, she just counter offered me. Do correct me if im wrong here.


Anyways fast forward, she decided to throw a small get together with her friends and a few co-workers. And she invited me to come just like she said. Now comes the problem tho, we were talking one time (before the party) and i asked her if she was seeing someone and she said yeah i just met this guy not to long ago and now we started dating....... and then she immediatly asks me if something was wrong and i told her that i liked her and that i would like to get to know her better. She didn't freak out or anything and was rather cool and relaxed about the hole thing.....but didn't knew what to say. She told me that she enjoys the friendship that we have and that she likes talking to me allot..... but that she doesn't want to "back stab" the other guy and that id wouldn't be nice to him or me.......which i agree with.


As a guy a who doesn't like to back out of things, i went to her party anyways. I asked her if there were something she would like for her birthday present and bought her the gift, wich wasn't anything expensive or anything......anyways i went to the party and she kinda light up when i gt there and was really happy that i came. Only thing is the other guy was there aswell, only i didn't knew who it was....... till someone made a comment which made me figure it out. Despite this, she was talking and laughing with as she normally does and was constantly walking past me and rubbing my shoulder/arms and ask me if i was having a good time. She even left the other guy standing with some people and sat right next beside me and we ate together.


Even after the party we kept texting and i would call her ocassionally to this day......and i still see her at her work sometimes when i have to go there. After this there were times when we would touch the dating topic and i asked her if i would have had a chance with her i she wasn't seeing the other guy and she said "Yes".


I felt that i should have "NEXT" her a long time ago but somehow just coudn't, i normally "NEXT" people pretty easilly and find another target........but it just didn't go that way this time around.... :S


I have a few of questions, here they are:

1. Is there any sort of interest from this girl ? (seeing that she counter offered me, even having to seeing someone else).

2. Why did she keep texting with me so long even when seeing someone else

3. Seeing that i already kept talking/texting with her for so long, should i just keep doing it or can/should i still NEXT her ?





Just a confused and eager to learn Nooby here...... thats why i posted the story.



-DJNooby-
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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-DJNoob-

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Sorry about the looooooong post hahaha...... it just pored out once i started explaining ^^
 

Deep Dish

Master Don Juan
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"I don't go out much, but my birthday is on (x) day and if i do something i will invite you to come for sure".

Now if im not mistaken, she just counter offered me. Do correct me if im wrong here.
Unfortunately, no, it was not a counter-offer. It was plausible deniability. In other words, if she decided she wasn't doing anything for her birthday, if she was all free by herself, she didn't want to see you.
2. Why did she keep texting with me so long even when seeing someone else
She likes the validation of your attention. In the economics of the dating market, sex is the currency of women, attention is the currency of men.
 

Purefilth

Master Don Juan
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^ what he said
You are what's called an AFC (Average frustrated chump)
And

1) you made it to the Friendzone - that's the only interest.

The other guy is a convenient excuse to keep you there. If she was interested in you, he would NOT be an obstacle - you would be the obstacle for him.

3)YEP next her. Otherwise you'll get the position of emotional tampon, she will never see you in a svxual way.

At least 6 months here combined with no contact may give you a shot later down the line. But by then you won't care about her anyway. You'll be spinning too many plates :up:
 

VladPatton

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A counteroffer is for another time and date to meet YOU and only you, not for a get together. Same thing happened to me over the summer. No date counteroffer = no interest in dating you. I mean, she messed with that other dude the whole time you knew her and he got a lot further, right?

Don't be discouraged, it takes a little practice to read a girl's interest through signs and you'll pick it up quickly. No confusion = high interest. It really is that simple. Next her and move on to greener pastures, they ARE out there.

Welcome to SS.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Kbomb

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i think its always good to keep people around. The friendzone can be a way to practice on a woman you find attractive.
 

alpha_ash

Senior Don Juan
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-DJNoob- said:
Hi there fellow Don Juan brothers,

Ok, so i'm a total nooby at this and just started to learn a few things (since yesterday lol). I have a question regarding the "Next" her decision i read about in the faq's for noobies.

Ok so it is clear to me that if in any case a girl does not show any sort of interest, like i do towords her.... then definitly "Next" her (duhhh). But what about this senario?:


I met a girl on the job, and started talking to her and taking an interest in her. Anyways as my job there was done i exchanged numbers with her ( i gave her my number and blackberry messenger number first and then she gave hers). I called her after 3 days and we had a nice laugh on the phone. After that i saw her a few more times at her workplace.

Ever since then we started texting almost everyday (i initially start the conversation most of the time), and i asked her out. Now the interesting part comes, well at least for me, being a nooby at this and all. She neither said no or yes to my request to go out but instead said this:

"I don't go out much, but my birthday is on (x) day and if i do something i will invite you to come for sure".

Now if im not mistaken, she just counter offered me. Do correct me if im wrong here.


Anyways fast forward, she decided to throw a small get together with her friends and a few co-workers. And she invited me to come just like she said. Now comes the problem tho, we were talking one time (before the party) and i asked her if she was seeing someone and she said yeah i just met this guy not to long ago and now we started dating....... and then she immediatly asks me if something was wrong and i told her that i liked her and that i would like to get to know her better. She didn't freak out or anything and was rather cool and relaxed about the hole thing.....but didn't knew what to say. She told me that she enjoys the friendship that we have and that she likes talking to me allot..... but that she doesn't want to "back stab" the other guy and that id wouldn't be nice to him or me.......which i agree with.


As a guy a who doesn't like to back out of things, i went to her party anyways. I asked her if there were something she would like for her birthday present and bought her the gift, wich wasn't anything expensive or anything......anyways i went to the party and she kinda light up when i gt there and was really happy that i came. Only thing is the other guy was there aswell, only i didn't knew who it was....... till someone made a comment which made me figure it out. Despite this, she was talking and laughing with as she normally does and was constantly walking past me and rubbing my shoulder/arms and ask me if i was having a good time. She even left the other guy standing with some people and sat right next beside me and we ate together.


Even after the party we kept texting and i would call her ocassionally to this day......and i still see her at her work sometimes when i have to go there. After this there were times when we would touch the dating topic and i asked her if i would have had a chance with her i she wasn't seeing the other guy and she said "Yes".


I felt that i should have "NEXT" her a long time ago but somehow just coudn't, i normally "NEXT" people pretty easilly and find another target........but it just didn't go that way this time around.... :S


I have a few of questions, here they are:

1. Is there any sort of interest from this girl ? (seeing that she counter offered me, even having to seeing someone else).

2. Why did she keep texting with me so long even when seeing someone else

3. Seeing that i already kept talking/texting with her for so long, should i just keep doing it or can/should i still NEXT her ?





Just a confused and eager to learn Nooby here...... thats why i posted the story.



-DJNooby-
This was painful. Go NC (no contact). She will contact you and ask we out alone. Then escalate. If she doesn't respond, cut it short, bail, and round 2 of no contact. This way you take the attention away and she realizes that she has I pay a price for your valuable time.
 

-DJNoob-

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Thank you all for your advice:

@Vladpatton, man i had that counteroffer thing totally wrong hahah

@Purefilth, i hope so man :)

@Alpha, i cant lie man it was messed up.

Well NEXT it is, hahaha. Think im gonna learn allot from this forum :D
 
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