Confused, married 14 yrs n wowed by someone else....

[YupImLost]

Let me give you a little back history, my wife and I have been married for 14 yrs been together 17 years. She has helped me raised my daughter who now is 17, she was like her mother. My daughter biological mother is in the picture and have had 17 years of baby mama drama. My wife and I have been to hell and back with my ex, from accusations of sexual assault, excessive CPS fillings.

I had an sexual affair on my wife that lasted 4 yrs, was caught and ended it back in 2014, wife forgave me and we worked it out. I don’t even blink one when I had to end it with her not once.

Now being 2020 I meet another girl and we built an emotional bond, and I had an emotional affair with her, with the intent to move across country to be with her, marry her and have kids. I feel I know Janes every face or most of them, I know when she had doubts, sadness, shyness, and happiness.

My wife found out by a freak accident, confronted me and this other girl, we will name her Jane. Jane and my wife had several texts go back and forth of basically “leave my husband alone”, “I chose Jane, so he don’t want you”. And many more other conversations. I’ve gotten advice from family member that was briefed on this, and my therapist both telling me problematic because she wants to break up the family, but it was I who lead Jane on and I to leave everything behind to be with Jane. My family is like if she loves you she’s move across country to be with you.

Jane and I met originally on Facebook in a Disney page and we exchanged Snapchat names and followed each other for the past 1-2 yrs, nothing romantic or sexual. It was about a month ago, we got sexual over Snapchat and that’s when all everything started happening. Of course I lied to Jane, single father and romantically looking, and she found out two days later I lied to her, nope I was far from single I was married and I had two daughters by two moms. Well you’d think she would’ve left but she didn’t. We worked things out, she gave me an ultimatum Jane or my wife, so I went down to court houses and got info and contacted an attorney.

I shared personal stories with Jane that I never did with my wife. She has told me stories too, but has she shared with anyone else, that one I don’t know. But, Jane said alarming things that brought some red flags, such she was going to WDW and she going to meet 3 different friends that are male that supposedly that want to have sexual interactions with her. I’m like WTF. Was she saying that to make me jealous or was she being serious that I don’t know.

Now, it’s this weekend. She’s in Florida and I’m suppose to fly out Wednesday to be there with her even though I’m taking a big risk, I end up buying sexual toys we can use while I’m there. Jane also tells me she was going to start taking fertility pills to help her body get ready for a baby. My wife have tried several times for her to have a baby and had three miscarriages, we where suppose start a different approach of having a baby, but the dr wanted my wife to lose 10 lbs and she’s done nothing.

My wife confronts me and says if I do actually go to Florida don’t come back I don’t want to see your face, it is over.

Now I feel conflicted, my therapist and family says it a bad idea, do not get involved with Jane. And I feel torn, do I love Jane? I think I do, do I want to be with Jane? I feel I do. Do I want to try to work it out with my wife? I just don’t know. Is Jane just a distraction? Or is, it possible to fall I love with someone you have never seen?

So today I decided to ghost her, deleted and block her off all my social media accounts and he phone number. I dunno if she has tried to contact me, I’m assuming she has cause when I logged on to Snapchat she questioned why I turned off my location with her. Well, I turned it off because I didn’t want her to know I went home. I was suppose to be at my brothers house. All I’ve been doing is thinking is Jane ok? Do I lose contact with Jane? I honestly don’t know what to do.

I’ve never had the power as I do know, I don’t need my wife for financial support because I make the same or even more than she does. I don’t need a babysitter because my daughter is 18 in 2 wks. I understand I’d half to sell my house and split everything down the middle, which I am ok with. Other people are telling me to no, get the money back from your dad and grandma inheritance if it’s yours it yours. So I’m torn on that.

What is a guy to do???

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If this isn't a troll post, you must be insane to go through all of this for a woman you have never even met yet.

 

[jimwho]

I Need a Midol..

 

[YupImLost]

If this isn't a troll post, you must be insane to go through all of this for a woman you have never even met yet.

No not a troll post, wish it could’ve been but no

 

[spikeanut]

absolute troll.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Jane sounds like trouble and you sound like you can't handle a bad biitch, otherwise this thread wouldn't exist and you'd be icing your wife and dealing with Jane. Jane will probably take a few years off your life with stress and might make you fight other dudes she's porking or something. You might get some STDs with her. If that sounds like fun go for it.

If you're not trolling then this is some childish shiit. If you're not happy with your marriage then end it. Lying and cheating on your wife shows you're irresponsible as hell and afraid to commit to any one course of action.

When you're going down a path and there's a fork in the road, pick a path. You can't go down both, you'll just crash.

 

[backseatjuan]

It is absolute simpness to want to travel across country, merry a chick, and have kids together. What's wrong with just banging local chicks, no strings attached, no kids. You see, this is what happens to daddys with kids and issues, like in your case, you got luggage and a lot of emotional beta drama, chick stays with you, helps you, fcks you, rasises your kids, and you cheat on her, and in the end, you want to cheat more on her. That original btch, the mother of your child, was correct when she decided to leave you. Indeed?

 

[King Lion]

What is a guy to do???

Yeah, riiiight....Is that you Jane?

 

[JayAce]

If this isn’t a troll post you need to get a divorce.

 

[YupImLost]

Jane sounds like trouble and you sound like you can't handle a bad biitch, otherwise this thread wouldn't exist and you'd be icing your wife and dealing with Jane. Jane will probably take a few years off your life with stress and might make you fight other dudes she's porking or something. You might get some STDs with her. If that sounds like fun go for it.

If you're not trolling then this is some childish shiit. If you're not happy with your marriage then end it. Lying and cheating on your wife shows you're irresponsible as hell and afraid to commit to any one course of action.

When you're going down a path and there's a fork in the road, pick a path. You can't go down both, you'll just crash.

That’s what I’m trying to figure out if I am happy in my marriage and I can’t find the answer. I felt like Jane might been good fit, my daughter wants to live with her mom, since I’ve had full custody of her since she’s been 10, and now the house or nest is empty, my wife says those are two separate issues but I don’t see the difference.

 

[YupImLost]

It is absolute simpness to want to travel across country, merry a chick, and have kids together. What's wrong with just banging local chicks, no strings attached, no kids. You see, this is what happens to daddys with kids and issues, like in your case, you got luggage and a lot of emotional beta drama, chick stays with you, helps you, fcks you, rasises your kids, and you cheat on her, and in the end, you want to cheat more on her. That original btch, the mother of your child, was correct when she decided to leave you. Indeed?

I guess my thing was looking for a change of scenery, to be out of California and move to the east coast. The thing was my daughter mom was a crazy *****, who filed a fake police report saying I beat her up after we broke up, I was already banging new chicks. Than my ex marries a guy that was beating the hit out of her and he nearly killed my ex.

 

[YupImLost]

If this isn't a troll post, you must be insane to go through all of this for a woman you have never even met yet.

The difference between Jane and my wife, was Jane was more open sexually and my wife was more conservative, it took my wife a long time to reciprocate the favor, my wife never wears lingerie when I ask she said you never show u want, I’m like wTF, I’m the one always insinuating sex

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The difference between Jane and my wife, was Jane was more open sexually and my wife was more conservative, it took my wife a long time to reciprocate the favor, my wife never wears lingerie when I ask she said you never show u want, I’m like wTF, I’m the one always insinuating sex

You have no idea what this other woman was really like, only what she wants you to believe. For that matter, you don't even know if it was really a woman. For all you know it could have been a man. Or some fat 300 lb women sending you pics of someone else.

 

[samspade]

Probably a troll but if not...

Is this the life you dreamed of as a boy? Utterly dependent on women, "confused," living in internal conflict because of a lack of personal direction in life? Falling "in love" on Facebook for Christ's sake? (On a Disney page?? Pretty sure this is b.s.)

If it's true, your poor daughter. I hope her head is screwed on straight.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

That’s what I’m trying to figure out if I am happy in my marriage and I can’t find the answer. I felt like Jane might been good fit, my daughter wants to live with her mom, since I’ve had full custody of her since she’s been 10, and now the house or nest is empty, my wife says those are two separate issues but I don’t see the difference.

It's not that you can't find the answer, it's that you fear being alone, so you lie and cheat in an attempt to keep the security of your marriage without needing the balls to leave it for good. Life has given you two reality checks to tell you it doesn't work that way.

Being alone will polarize you. You'll either become a greater man or you'll either away in obscurity.

Do you have any hobbies or a career you're passionate about? It really sounds like you're seeking all fulfillment from women.

 

[Focal core]

I read it out few paragraph hell of drama made in studio.. Troll.. Moving on.

 

[bat soup]

Let me give you a little back history, my wife and I have been married for 14 yrs been together 17 years. She has helped me raised my daughter who now is 17, she was like her mother. My daughter biological mother is in the picture and have had 17 years of baby mama drama. My wife and I have been to hell and back with my ex, from accusations of sexual assault, excessive CPS fillings.

I had an sexual affair on my wife that lasted 4 yrs, was caught and ended it back in 2014, wife forgave me and we worked it out. I don’t even blink one when I had to end it with her not once.

Now being 2020 I meet another girl and we built an emotional bond, and I had an emotional affair with her, with the intent to move across country to be with her, marry her and have kids. I feel I know Janes every face or most of them, I know when she had doubts, sadness, shyness, and happiness.

My wife found out by a freak accident, confronted me and this other girl, we will name her Jane. Jane and my wife had several texts go back and forth of basically “leave my husband alone”, “I chose Jane, so he don’t want you”. And many more other conversations. I’ve gotten advice from family member that was briefed on this, and my therapist both telling me problematic because she wants to break up the family, but it was I who lead Jane on and I to leave everything behind to be with Jane. My family is like if she loves you she’s move across country to be with you.

Jane and I met originally on Facebook in a Disney page and we exchanged Snapchat names and followed each other for the past 1-2 yrs, nothing romantic or sexual. It was about a month ago, we got sexual over Snapchat and that’s when all everything started happening. Of course I lied to Jane, single father and romantically looking, and she found out two days later I lied to her, nope I was far from single I was married and I had two daughters by two moms. Well you’d think she would’ve left but she didn’t. We worked things out, she gave me an ultimatum Jane or my wife, so I went down to court houses and got info and contacted an attorney.

I shared personal stories with Jane that I never did with my wife. She has told me stories too, but has she shared with anyone else, that one I don’t know. But, Jane said alarming things that brought some red flags, such she was going to WDW and she going to meet 3 different friends that are male that supposedly that want to have sexual interactions with her. I’m like WTF. Was she saying that to make me jealous or was she being serious that I don’t know.

Now, it’s this weekend. She’s in Florida and I’m suppose to fly out Wednesday to be there with her even though I’m taking a big risk, I end up buying sexual toys we can use while I’m there. Jane also tells me she was going to start taking fertility pills to help her body get ready for a baby. My wife have tried several times for her to have a baby and had three miscarriages, we where suppose start a different approach of having a baby, but the dr wanted my wife to lose 10 lbs and she’s done nothing.

My wife confronts me and says if I do actually go to Florida don’t come back I don’t want to see your face, it is over.

Now I feel conflicted, my therapist and family says it a bad idea, do not get involved with Jane. And I feel torn, do I love Jane? I think I do, do I want to be with Jane? I feel I do. Do I want to try to work it out with my wife? I just don’t know. Is Jane just a distraction? Or is, it possible to fall I love with someone you have never seen?

So today I decided to ghost her, deleted and block her off all my social media accounts and he phone number. I dunno if she has tried to contact me, I’m assuming she has cause when I logged on to Snapchat she questioned why I turned off my location with her. Well, I turned it off because I didn’t want her to know I went home. I was suppose to be at my brothers house. All I’ve been doing is thinking is Jane ok? Do I lose contact with Jane? I honestly don’t know what to do.

I’ve never had the power as I do know, I don’t need my wife for financial support because I make the same or even more than she does. I don’t need a babysitter because my daughter is 18 in 2 wks. I understand I’d half to sell my house and split everything down the middle, which I am ok with. Other people are telling me to no, get the money back from your dad and grandma inheritance if it’s yours it yours. So I’m torn on that.

What is a guy to do???

Why not just bang them both and see which one is better?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Don't feed the trolls

 

[YupImLost]

You have no idea what this other woman was really like, only what she wants you to believe. For that matter, you don't even know if it was really a woman. For all you know it could have been a man. Or some fat 300 lb women sending you pics of someone else.

If was only that easy we FaceTime and talked on the phone for 4 hrs a day and the only time we didn’t talk was on weekend cause my wife was home we found other ways to talk

 

[YupImLost]

It's not that you can't find the answer, it's that you fear being alone, so you lie and cheat in an attempt to keep the security of your marriage without needing the balls to leave it for good. Life has given you two reality checks to tell you it doesn't work that way.

Being alone will polarize you. You'll either become a greater man or you'll either away in obscurity.

Do you have any hobbies or a career you're passionate about? It really sounds like you're seeking all fulfillment from women.

Yes I have a few hobbies and yea I do work full time, I work for a delivery company. I fear being alone, I’ll admit that. And that’s why I never left my marriage. When we decided we got married I decided to keep things stable for my daughter but now she lives with her moms. I am more structured than her mom, her mom is more a joe cool mom.

Can you explain the two realities?