First time posting. Sorry for the long read, but this has been bugging me for a long time. Flame away.
I went complete AFC on a girl from work in October 2011 (it was pretty bad as I was new to this whole dating thing). We weren’t serious at all, but afterward, we didn’t talk for awhile. She actually brought me to this site, which is about the only thing good about her. As you will judge from this post, I still have a lot to learn.
We had a trip planned in January to go overseas with 2 other guys that was planned before AFCism. In December, I wrote her and said no hard feelings, as I wanted the trip to go well, to which she agreed. We had had no contact up to that point.
The trip went really well. We got along fine, and I thought everything would be cool with us, which is what I want anyway. Looking back at things, there were a lot of red flags, and in October she actually admitted to manipulating my feelings for her (wtf?). Anyway, I really want a drama-free workplace. I’ve moved on, and just want things to be normal.
She and I share common friends at work who do a lot of things together. Parties, get togethers, etc. She comes down for lunch to chat with two guys I work with. They both know about what happened between me and this girl (I guess no bros before hoes). Basically, they feed her attention. She talks about all her relationship crap to them, which I have to hear, and it pretty much sucks.
However, she pretty much hates me. She wouldn’t piss on me if I were on fire kinda hate. She is not even civil; no conversation, no “hi, how are you?”..nothing. I would expect this from children who are 12, but not an adult (she’s 25). I’m not the type of person to hold grudges so I try to be nice to her, and initiate small talk when I get the chance, but she doesn’t reciprocate. This makes it pretty awkward for me when I’m around her. I haven’t had this problem with other girls either. Even if we go out as a group, it’s the same deal.
Anyway, my question: What is her problem? I honestly just want to be civil with this girl and I have no interest in her anymore. We don’t even have to be friends, but it would be nice to act like adults. I know I will probably get “you are losing to her, don’t waste your time, etc”, but I’d like some insight as to what is going on in her head. Thanks for your responses.
I went complete AFC on a girl from work in October 2011 (it was pretty bad as I was new to this whole dating thing). We weren’t serious at all, but afterward, we didn’t talk for awhile. She actually brought me to this site, which is about the only thing good about her. As you will judge from this post, I still have a lot to learn.
We had a trip planned in January to go overseas with 2 other guys that was planned before AFCism. In December, I wrote her and said no hard feelings, as I wanted the trip to go well, to which she agreed. We had had no contact up to that point.
The trip went really well. We got along fine, and I thought everything would be cool with us, which is what I want anyway. Looking back at things, there were a lot of red flags, and in October she actually admitted to manipulating my feelings for her (wtf?). Anyway, I really want a drama-free workplace. I’ve moved on, and just want things to be normal.
She and I share common friends at work who do a lot of things together. Parties, get togethers, etc. She comes down for lunch to chat with two guys I work with. They both know about what happened between me and this girl (I guess no bros before hoes). Basically, they feed her attention. She talks about all her relationship crap to them, which I have to hear, and it pretty much sucks.
However, she pretty much hates me. She wouldn’t piss on me if I were on fire kinda hate. She is not even civil; no conversation, no “hi, how are you?”..nothing. I would expect this from children who are 12, but not an adult (she’s 25). I’m not the type of person to hold grudges so I try to be nice to her, and initiate small talk when I get the chance, but she doesn’t reciprocate. This makes it pretty awkward for me when I’m around her. I haven’t had this problem with other girls either. Even if we go out as a group, it’s the same deal.
Anyway, my question: What is her problem? I honestly just want to be civil with this girl and I have no interest in her anymore. We don’t even have to be friends, but it would be nice to act like adults. I know I will probably get “you are losing to her, don’t waste your time, etc”, but I’d like some insight as to what is going on in her head. Thanks for your responses.
