"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Conflicting opinions

RogueWarrior

Don Juan
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Okay so get this:

I have a male friend mid-40s who told me how women want a challenge and how to go about it long before I ever discovered this forum. He is married (to an HB9) and has 5 kids.

I also have a female friend (early 40s) who I've known since high-school, who is married and has two kids who tells me women want you to tell them how you feel about them.

So since neither one of them has an axe to grind, who is right? Why would my female friend say this if it were bullsh*t?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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lYlasTer

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 25, 2004
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You're new to this so I'm going to save you a lot of trouble. When you want women advice, you ask MEN that gets women, you don't ask women.

Why?

Women don't know what they're talking about. Her MIND says she wants a guy that tells his feelings for her, her BODY wants a man that's a challenge.

TRUST ME ON THIS go with guy #1's advices over the female friend.
 

Victory Unlimited

Master Don Juan
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Yo RogueWarrior,


I think that BOTH people may be telling you THEIR version of the truth. I think that despite some of the rigid rules you hear about on forums like these, we should always pay attention to exactly WHAT type of mate we have.

Some people, depending on their personality, their level of self-esteem, and their DEMONSTRATED level of commitment to the other person, need MORE "challenge" or "reassurance" than others.

The mistake we sometimes make by holding on to certain "DJ Rules" too tightly is that we can miscalibrate and miscalculate WHAT strategies to use with the different people we become involved with.
 

Nighthawk

Master Don Juan
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You can be a challenge and also be honest about how you feel. The mistake is feeling 'love' for someone who hasn't earned it.
 

Hitman10000

Master Don Juan
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May 29, 2006
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lYlasTer said:
You're new to this so I'm going to save you a lot of trouble. When you want women advice, you ask MEN that gets women, you don't ask women.

Why?

Women don't know what they're talking about. Her MIND says she wants a guy that tells his feelings for her, her BODY wants a man that's a challenge.

TRUST ME ON THIS go with guy #1's advices over the female friend.
While I think your opinion has some validation, both women and men will give disparaging advice on how to approach a romantic situation. One woman will suggest that you give flowers on the first date, Another man will tell you to not call her an entire week after getting her number. If you want the best advice, listen to everyone's then find the "average" and try to work your own ways of thinking that parallels that advice.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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