Conflicted, two girlfriends which to choose?

Jager

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Dear Missouri,
For sure this sort of thing happens,particularly if you spin plates,there is no solution,luckily No Kids involved so could be worse...I have been there twice,just be careful you don't lose both,that is more than likely just a matter of time anyway....You are not the first,there was an apt Song my Mother used to sing called "Riptide".
Life was as calm as a summer sea
Where silver moonlight beams
And then a new love beckoned me
Wrecking the ship of my dreams
Riptide caught in a riptide, torn between two loves
The old and the new
Riptide lost in a riptide
Where will it take me what shall I do?
My heart is tossed on a sea of emotion
One love offers romance
The other devotion
A new love is calling
The old love is pleading
I'm caught in a riptide what shall I do?
The beauty about plate spinning is that it doesn’t matter if they both leave. He can just find more to replace them.
 

Jager

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Remember that girl B will become girl A eventually and when the chemicals calm down there will be a new girl B.

Women operate solely on chemicals from her endocrine system to sustain desire. Men do to but we have a more creative functionality towards these things.
A man can have everything she needs but she still only want to be his roommate after she levels out. He will eventually be rationed sex. Not as an evilness. But because she’s not feeling it but still doesn’t want to bounce.
Evidence that relationships aren't even biologically natural, and predisposed to stagnation.
 

xplt

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i‘ve been in that situation two times, but without cheating. i only acted by the first time and dumped a for b. going to a rebound won‘t do anything for you. the second time i fell for a girl while i was already in a ltr i didn‘t act on my feelings, let them fade and tried to argument with logic for myself. overcoming this and let madame b go out of my mind was a good ego boost for me, but i‘m seeing b nearly everyday and that wasn‘t easy...
 

Spaz

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Another expressive male.

OP you should compare notes with @Murkserious.

And when you both grow tired of the drama, refocus that excess emotions into something other then woman or multiple women.

Flowtheory wrote how he goes about refocusing it, not sure which thread but you should directly ask him for some pointers.

It will help you.
 

Murkserious

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Another expressive male.

OP you should compare notes with @Murkserious.

And when you both grow tired of the drama, refocus that excess emotions into something other then woman or multiple women.

Flowtheory wrote how he goes about refocusing it, not sure which thread but you should directly ask him for some pointers.

It will help you.
I’m actually settling with Sophie as she’s a good woman and focusing on gym (during lunch break) and work.

At least for 9-12 months
 

Spaz

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I’m actually settling with Sophie as she’s a good woman and focusing on gym (during lunch break) and work.

At least for 9-12 months
You should also focus that excess emotions towards long dormant artistic skills otherwise you'll direct it full force on women, they can't handle it all buddy, I think you know it.

Channel some of that emotions elsewhere as an outlet while at the same time benefiting from it, in the process hitting 2 birds with 1 stone.
 

Desdinova

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From what I've experienced, men are NOT meant to fall deeply in love. You either need a woman for companionship/convenience, or you need her for sex. In your case, you have both.

You really need to make the decision of whether you want to just go out and fvck hot women, or you want a loyal companion by your side (and I'm not excluding the idea of having a mistress here). Girl B sounds like a piece of 5hit who should be just a fvck and toss. Instead, you're trying to turn this piece of 5hit into a loyal companion, which she will never be. Divorce? Kids taken away? Criminal record? What a piece of trash. Girl A is the best choice if you want a committed companion. Of you're done with having that, then you should just end it and eat the fact that you'll likely never have another loyal companion like that again.
 

Mazer

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With all due respect and correct me if I am wrong but I’m going to assume the only reason you haven’t dropped girl A is because your gut is telling you something. You are afraid if you do drop girl A and Girl B dumps you shortly after, which she might due to her recent inconsistent behavior, you will then be scrambling because you fear being alone without either one. This is where you need work. (Fear of being alone). You also mentioned that you had to go “no contact” for girl B to do things for you. I never have to force women who are interested in me to do things for me. They just do. You might even be blinded by the sex. Dump Girl A but don’t go crying back to her when Girl B drops you. Let us know how it goes. Good luck.
 

BeExcellent

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I’m with @Desdinova here 100%.

Once girl A is gone for good you’ll realize what a good one you had. Girl Bs are a dime a dozen.

But your bigger issue is you can’t be alone. If you could you’d have cut Girl A loose long ago for lack of attraction etc. OP won’t do that because Girl A is the back up security blanket.

That’s a crap way to treat someone, especially someone devoted to you. Poor girl.

If a woman did this you’d call A a cuck. Not nice.

This behavior is what screws up good women.

Be honest. Break it off with Girl A. You have wasted 10 years of her life. What an ass.
 

jnMissouri

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so for me it was a hard lesson... you will compare a with b all the time
Isn't that normal though? That happens any time you have a new partner.
From what I've experienced, men are NOT meant to fall deeply in love. You either need a woman for companionship/convenience, or you need her for sex. In your case, you have both.

You really need to make the decision of whether you want to just go out and fvck hot women, or you want a loyal companion by your side (and I'm not excluding the idea of having a mistress here). Girl B sounds like a piece of 5hit who should be just a fvck and toss. Instead, you're trying to turn this piece of 5hit into a loyal companion, which she will never be. Divorce? Kids taken away? Criminal record? What a piece of trash. Girl A is the best choice if you want a committed companion. Of you're done with having that, then you should just end it and eat the fact that you'll likely never have another loyal companion like that again.
And that's what worries me, will I have a loyal companion like this again. But at the same time I don't think I love her anymore.
 

jnMissouri

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Am I having a hard time letting go of A because of comfort, how good she is to me, the little things she does for me and whether I'll get that from B. But do those little things make a relationship or is it love that does and if love who do I really love A or B? B was only supposed to be a fling, then I got attached to her.

Girl A is the better gf on paper, a great companion. Does the little and big things, but do those make a relationship? I haven't had a chance to see this from B yet and she has even told me that. Girl B is hotter and makes me feel things I haven't in a long time. I also worry that I'll compare A and B all the time and have buyers remorse but that's normal especially after 10 years with someone.

Maybe I'm overthinking all of this, at the end of the day, it's hard to let go of 10 years of history and stability for the unknown. So I think being conflicted is normal, and after 10 years of history I am reasonably certain A would take me back so maybe there is not much risk here. This is a bit of fear of the unknown combined with the analytical pick of the better choice.
 

Jager

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I’ll be honest. I don’t see how any of this is a problem. I find myself asking the question “Why is this a problem? Why does this post exist?”

You should be focusing your energy on something else. How ‘bout your goals? Why not your aspirations, the things you’re striving to achieve with your life. If your biggest issue in life right now is picking between two girls, you need a bigger game in life.

No, instead you’ve got tunnel vision on these two women, and you’ve missed the point entirely. Why not keep them both? Why not have 4 or 5? Why not have a harem of top SMV women and focus on your kicking ass in your life?

This entire thread is an exercise in futility.
 

jnMissouri

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I’ll be honest. I don’t see how any of this is a problem. I find myself asking the question “Why is this a problem? Why does this post exist?”

You should be focusing your energy on something else. How ‘bout your goals? Why not your aspirations, the things you’re striving to achieve with your life. If your biggest issue in life right now is picking between two girls, you need a bigger game in life.

No, instead you’ve got tunnel vision on these two women, and you’ve missed the point entirely. Why not keep them both? Why not have 4 or 5? Why not have a harem of top SMV women and focus on your kicking ass in your life?

This entire thread is an exercise in futility.
Dude I'm a millionaire damn near multi millionaire. The other life stuff is fine. There's more to life than that. And honestly it's exhausting doing this. Two gf's and other plates. I won't do this again.
 

escaleraroyal

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I closed the window right after I read: "relationship with girl A for 10 years "
 

jnMissouri

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I closed the window right after I read: "relationship with girl A for 10 years "

What is peoples hangup with that? Are long term relationships frowned upon here or something? Being with someone for a long time is usually a good thing. Albeit in this case I started looking because I got bored/comfortable in the relationship. I like the stability and companionship, but the sex/romance of it has long worn off.

Maybe going with girl B isn't a bad choice regardless because 1) I should have broken it off with A long ago anyways and 2) if girl B doesn't work out, I will find a girl C, as someone else noted I would do once the girl B newness/tingle wears off.

I'm still so conflicted. The easy, comfortable thing to do is stay with girl A and just be friends with girl B. It's hard to let go of what you know and have known to be working for you for 10 years for someone/something that is only 8 months old and you are unsure about her.
 
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