Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Conflicted, two girlfriends which to choose?

Jager

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
245
Reaction score
289
Age
29
Remember that girl B will become girl A eventually and when the chemicals calm down there will be a new girl B.

Women operate solely on chemicals from her endocrine system to sustain desire. Men do to but we have a more creative functionality towards these things.
A man can have everything she needs but she still only want to be his roommate after she levels out. He will eventually be rationed sex. Not as an evilness. But because she’s not feeling it but still doesn’t want to bounce.
Evidence that relationships aren't even biologically natural, and predisposed to stagnation.
 

Warning!

Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!

The information in each issue is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few – not the unwashed masses.

image

If you think you can handle it...

If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...

Then sign up below.

But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – and wish to continue being so – then skip this. It's too much power for you.

xplt

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2019
Messages
228
Reaction score
198
i‘ve been in that situation two times, but without cheating. i only acted by the first time and dumped a for b. going to a rebound won‘t do anything for you. the second time i fell for a girl while i was already in a ltr i didn‘t act on my feelings, let them fade and tried to argument with logic for myself. overcoming this and let madame b go out of my mind was a good ego boost for me, but i‘m seeing b nearly everyday and that wasn‘t easy...
 

Spaz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
7,827
Reaction score
6,270
Location
Somewhere where's it's none of your business
Another expressive male.

OP you should compare notes with @Murkserious.

And when you both grow tired of the drama, refocus that excess emotions into something other then woman or multiple women.

Flowtheory wrote how he goes about refocusing it, not sure which thread but you should directly ask him for some pointers.

It will help you.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Murkserious

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
2,265
Reaction score
1,337
Another expressive male.

OP you should compare notes with @Murkserious.

And when you both grow tired of the drama, refocus that excess emotions into something other then woman or multiple women.

Flowtheory wrote how he goes about refocusing it, not sure which thread but you should directly ask him for some pointers.

It will help you.
I’m actually settling with Sophie as she’s a good woman and focusing on gym (during lunch break) and work.

At least for 9-12 months
 

Spaz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
7,827
Reaction score
6,270
Location
Somewhere where's it's none of your business
I’m actually settling with Sophie as she’s a good woman and focusing on gym (during lunch break) and work.

At least for 9-12 months
You should also focus that excess emotions towards long dormant artistic skills otherwise you'll direct it full force on women, they can't handle it all buddy, I think you know it.

Channel some of that emotions elsewhere as an outlet while at the same time benefiting from it, in the process hitting 2 birds with 1 stone.
 

Desdinova

Moderator
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,535
Reaction score
4,172
From what I've experienced, men are NOT meant to fall deeply in love. You either need a woman for companionship/convenience, or you need her for sex. In your case, you have both.

You really need to make the decision of whether you want to just go out and fvck hot women, or you want a loyal companion by your side (and I'm not excluding the idea of having a mistress here). Girl B sounds like a piece of 5hit who should be just a fvck and toss. Instead, you're trying to turn this piece of 5hit into a loyal companion, which she will never be. Divorce? Kids taken away? Criminal record? What a piece of trash. Girl A is the best choice if you want a committed companion. Of you're done with having that, then you should just end it and eat the fact that you'll likely never have another loyal companion like that again.
 

Mazer

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2017
Messages
660
Reaction score
717
Age
42
With all due respect and correct me if I am wrong but I’m going to assume the only reason you haven’t dropped girl A is because your gut is telling you something. You are afraid if you do drop girl A and Girl B dumps you shortly after, which she might due to her recent inconsistent behavior, you will then be scrambling because you fear being alone without either one. This is where you need work. (Fear of being alone). You also mentioned that you had to go “no contact” for girl B to do things for you. I never have to force women who are interested in me to do things for me. They just do. You might even be blinded by the sex. Dump Girl A but don’t go crying back to her when Girl B drops you. Let us know how it goes. Good luck.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
2,768
Reaction score
3,531
Age
51
I’m with @Desdinova here 100%.

Once girl A is gone for good you’ll realize what a good one you had. Girl Bs are a dime a dozen.

But your bigger issue is you can’t be alone. If you could you’d have cut Girl A loose long ago for lack of attraction etc. OP won’t do that because Girl A is the back up security blanket.

That’s a crap way to treat someone, especially someone devoted to you. Poor girl.

If a woman did this you’d call A a cuck. Not nice.

This behavior is what screws up good women.

Be honest. Break it off with Girl A. You have wasted 10 years of her life. What an ass.
 

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
569
Reaction score
134
so for me it was a hard lesson... you will compare a with b all the time
Isn't that normal though? That happens any time you have a new partner.
From what I've experienced, men are NOT meant to fall deeply in love. You either need a woman for companionship/convenience, or you need her for sex. In your case, you have both.

You really need to make the decision of whether you want to just go out and fvck hot women, or you want a loyal companion by your side (and I'm not excluding the idea of having a mistress here). Girl B sounds like a piece of 5hit who should be just a fvck and toss. Instead, you're trying to turn this piece of 5hit into a loyal companion, which she will never be. Divorce? Kids taken away? Criminal record? What a piece of trash. Girl A is the best choice if you want a committed companion. Of you're done with having that, then you should just end it and eat the fact that you'll likely never have another loyal companion like that again.
And that's what worries me, will I have a loyal companion like this again. But at the same time I don't think I love her anymore.
 

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
569
Reaction score
134
Am I having a hard time letting go of A because of comfort, how good she is to me, the little things she does for me and whether I'll get that from B. But do those little things make a relationship or is it love that does and if love who do I really love A or B? B was only supposed to be a fling, then I got attached to her.

Girl A is the better gf on paper, a great companion. Does the little and big things, but do those make a relationship? I haven't had a chance to see this from B yet and she has even told me that. Girl B is hotter and makes me feel things I haven't in a long time. I also worry that I'll compare A and B all the time and have buyers remorse but that's normal especially after 10 years with someone.

Maybe I'm overthinking all of this, at the end of the day, it's hard to let go of 10 years of history and stability for the unknown. So I think being conflicted is normal, and after 10 years of history I am reasonably certain A would take me back so maybe there is not much risk here. This is a bit of fear of the unknown combined with the analytical pick of the better choice.
 

Jager

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
245
Reaction score
289
Age
29
I’ll be honest. I don’t see how any of this is a problem. I find myself asking the question “Why is this a problem? Why does this post exist?”

You should be focusing your energy on something else. How ‘bout your goals? Why not your aspirations, the things you’re striving to achieve with your life. If your biggest issue in life right now is picking between two girls, you need a bigger game in life.

No, instead you’ve got tunnel vision on these two women, and you’ve missed the point entirely. Why not keep them both? Why not have 4 or 5? Why not have a harem of top SMV women and focus on your kicking ass in your life?

This entire thread is an exercise in futility.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
569
Reaction score
134
I’ll be honest. I don’t see how any of this is a problem. I find myself asking the question “Why is this a problem? Why does this post exist?”

You should be focusing your energy on something else. How ‘bout your goals? Why not your aspirations, the things you’re striving to achieve with your life. If your biggest issue in life right now is picking between two girls, you need a bigger game in life.

No, instead you’ve got tunnel vision on these two women, and you’ve missed the point entirely. Why not keep them both? Why not have 4 or 5? Why not have a harem of top SMV women and focus on your kicking ass in your life?

This entire thread is an exercise in futility.
Dude I'm a millionaire damn near multi millionaire. The other life stuff is fine. There's more to life than that. And honestly it's exhausting doing this. Two gf's and other plates. I won't do this again.
 

escaleraroyal

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 21, 2008
Messages
547
Reaction score
35
I closed the window right after I read: "relationship with girl A for 10 years "
 

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
569
Reaction score
134
I closed the window right after I read: "relationship with girl A for 10 years "

What is peoples hangup with that? Are long term relationships frowned upon here or something? Being with someone for a long time is usually a good thing. Albeit in this case I started looking because I got bored/comfortable in the relationship. I like the stability and companionship, but the sex/romance of it has long worn off.

Maybe going with girl B isn't a bad choice regardless because 1) I should have broken it off with A long ago anyways and 2) if girl B doesn't work out, I will find a girl C, as someone else noted I would do once the girl B newness/tingle wears off.

I'm still so conflicted. The easy, comfortable thing to do is stay with girl A and just be friends with girl B. It's hard to let go of what you know and have known to be working for you for 10 years for someone/something that is only 8 months old and you are unsure about her.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
13,353
Reaction score
5,397
The beauty about plate spinning is that it doesn’t matter if they both leave. He can just find more to replace them.
That's no different than a "regular" relationship though. If someone leaves, they can be replaced.
 

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
569
Reaction score
134
Remember that girl B will become girl A eventually and when the chemicals calm down there will be a new girl B.

Women operate solely on chemicals from her endocrine system to sustain desire. Men do to but we have a more creative functionality towards these things.
A man can have everything she needs but she still only want to be his roommate after she levels out. He will eventually be rationed sex. Not as an evilness. But because she’s not feeling it but still doesn’t want to bounce.

You probably had the most insightful comment here.

I considered this as well, that Girl B will eventually turn into Girl A over time as we get more comfortable and learn what we each like. And that eventually there'll be yet another NEW Girl B...

I'm also considering the fact that as comfortable as I am with Girl A, I should let her go regardless of whether I move forward with Girl B or not because that relationship has obviously gone stale for me otherwise I wouldn't be doing this...

So with that said, should I be hesitant to move forward with leaving my long time girlfriend of 10 years for this girl? We've been a couple for coming up on a year already...

I figure if we break up I'll just find another, maybe a little heartache depending on the reason of the breakup but either I'll find another or my ex might want to rekindle things, 10 years is a strong bond and she's comfortable with me, so I would think she'd get back together with me in the end.
 
Top