Conflicted. Should I look for strong interest sign OR not care and ask her out anyway? ? ( Book of pook says looking for a sign is chick thinking)

stormrider

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Let's say I'm at a coffee shop doing my own thing. I see someone next to me on laptop coding. I ask them about it(I'm going for my first software engineer position i in few months). We connect a little. I ask her out.

Scenario #2

I see a barista working for first time in a while while I'm in line and surprised and joke around with her.I ask her out while we chit chat.

This is how I behave. How In the world is this street game again? I might act like in the above paragraphs I describe, at the gym or other places related the current situation there at the time. But it's not like some pre-planned thing I try to go out my way to do before I get there....its more natural than that but not enough to my liking , there's an age 33 friendly guy at my gym who seems like an authentic guy. I asked him about women he talks to there and joked around he should ask them out. He said they approached him and that they're just his friends, plus he dated women there before in the past. Similar to me, I've dated women there before too. But I notice I strategize more than he does and looks like he just rolls with it. I don't use techniques, and pickup lines more like rules I have for myself to maintain self respect...and maybe stragies for not revealing too much and just being playful/clever....you know? So I can see what you're saying about the mindset.....if I don't feel like I'm successful in my ecosystem I will sometimes blame it on the stuff that is possibly related to PUA things....and feel lost again than come on here and ask about it and get different answers from guys like you who are more authentic and other guys in PUA frame, and others who are totally bitter lol. Even tho in gut, I know I'm not wanting to come from a PUA frame...more authentic.
We already went through this already. I told you social environment based on hobbies and interests. I never said anything about coffee shops. Is it possible to get phone numbers in coffee shops? Sure. Is it possible for you to find a woman that you actually have something in common with + attraction + chemistry? Maybe 1 in 100 interactions, lol. If all the stars align, I guess anything is possible, lol.

Years from now while people on the same wavelength are hooking up left and right 24/7 in social environments, you’re still trying to figure out coffee shop game. Relationships based on chemistry and commonalities would have started, kids would have been born, and you’re still trying to pick up chicks in coffee shops.

I thought you were pulling up the meetup app? Why are we going backwards, talking in circles, and trying to figure out pickup game?

Don’t you realize these women in coffee shops have their own lives, social circles, hobbies, and social environments they go to based on their interests where they already know tons of guys that they talk to everyday?

And meanwhile you are a total stranger with nothing in common with them trying to hit on them. Again, is it possible to hook up with them? Sure. Is it probable? Judging by how clueless you seem to be about social dynamics, not likely.

If I were you I would just make it as easy as possible and find social groups based on interests/hobbies where you meet women you have something in common with instead of trying to be some kind of master seducer. You’re going to end up wasting 10 years of your life and become bitter and jaded.

On a difficulty level of 1-10, the method im giving you is a level 1. It’s the easiest way. And the best part is, it also has the highest probability of success as well. Yet you want to pull rabbits out of your a$$ in coffee shops and pray to the love Gods to bless you with serendipity.
 
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GeeMale

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We already went through this already. I told you social environment based on hobbies and interests. I never said anything about coffee shops. Is it possible to get phone numbers in coffee shops? Sure. Is it possible for you to find a woman that you actually have something in common with + attraction + chemistry? Maybe 1 in 100 interactions, lol. If all the stars align, I guess anything is possible, lol.

Years from now while people on the same wavelength are hooking up left and right 24/7 in social environments, you’re still trying to figure out coffee shop game. Relationships based on chemistry and commonalities would have started, kids would have been born, and you’re still trying to pick up chicks in coffee shops.

I thought you were pulling up the meetup app? Why are we going backwards, talking in circles, and trying to figure out pickup game?

Don’t you realize these women in coffee shops have their own lives, social circles, hobbies, and social environments they go to based on their interests where they already know tons of guys that they talk to everyday?

And meanwhile you are a total stranger with nothing in common with them trying to hit on them. Again, is it possible to hook up with them? Sure. Is it probable? Judging by how clueless you seem to be about social dynamics, not likely.

If I were you I would just make it as easy as possible and find social groups based on interests/hobbies where you meet women you have something in common with instead of trying to be some kind of master seducer. You’re going to end up wasting 10 years of your life and become bitter and jaded.

On a difficulty level of 1-10, the method im giving you is a level 1. It’s the easiest way. And the best part is, it also has the highest probability of success as well. Yet you want to pull rabbits out of your a$$ in coffee shops and pray to the love Gods to bless you with serendipity.
What you're saying is correct, but I just realized you're exaggerating (maybe a bit outlandish) a bit which why I'm replying to you, cause that's really messing with my head since I hate mistating stuff/being misunderstood in communication.
But hey I got the point, and I'll go ahead and click with women that I vibe with more, in other social environments
 

GeeMale

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We already went through this already. I told you social environment based on hobbies and interests. I never said anything about coffee shops. Is it possible to get phone numbers in coffee shops? Sure. Is it possible for you to find a woman that you actually have something in common with + attraction + chemistry? Maybe 1 in 100 interactions, lol. If all the stars align, I guess anything is possible, lol.

Years from now while people on the same wavelength are hooking up left and right 24/7 in social environments, you’re still trying to figure out coffee shop game. Relationships based on chemistry and commonalities would have started, kids would have been born, and you’re still trying to pick up chicks in coffee shops.

I thought you were pulling up the meetup app? Why are we going backwards, talking in circles, and trying to figure out pickup game?

Don’t you realize these women in coffee shops have their own lives, social circles, hobbies, and social environments they go to based on their interests where they already know tons of guys that they talk to everyday?

And meanwhile you are a total stranger with nothing in common with them trying to hit on them. Again, is it possible to hook up with them? Sure. Is it probable? Judging by how clueless you seem to be about social dynamics, not likely.

If I were you I would just make it as easy as possible and find social groups based on interests/hobbies where you meet women you have something in common with instead of trying to be some kind of master seducer. You’re going to end up wasting 10 years of your life and become bitter and jaded.

On a difficulty level of 1-10, the method im giving you is a level 1. It’s the easiest way. And the best part is, it also has the highest probability of success as well. Yet you want to pull rabbits out of your a$$ in coffee shops and pray to the love Gods to bless you with serendipity.
Oh yeah there something else not sure if you can get through me or not. I'm Indian and Muslim(Shia) who live in Houston,TX. I know my parents wouldn't want to me to marry someone who isn't Shia...and race isn't important although they ideally like another chick who is Indian/Pakistani cause same culture. I think if I would get in more social environments with them(Shia women ... Which there is plenty in America).The probelm is .....it's hard to network and get through to them without being serious that you actually wanna talk to the chick and let em know before hand that you wanna know her for at least a few months maybe years or whatever but with the intention to marry and not just for 'fun'. Whether it's arranged by someone else for us to meet in person or ourselves in some environment in our community they have here...

But going to social environments with them is going to be much less fewer than if I was to start in meet up app or other places naturally. I know I wouldn't have to 'practice' first either.......because everything seems more natural when I do see them in religious camp, picnics, etc or other natural places I meet them by chance.

So yeah....have fun with meet up and other environments with whoever chicks for right now.....
Or stick to just what I know my family would allow?
 

MrWood

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Let your family control your life...
this is not a DJ trait.

You are American now, exercise your freedom
 

GeeMale

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Let your family control your life...
this is not a DJ trait.

You are American now, exercise your freedom
Not controlling. I love my family and wouldn't want to be disowned. I could get married to a Christian or Jew if they converted though later on. They don't TRY or encourage to get me married ASAP or anything lol. They said when I want to, just let em know when I find a Muslim girl or reach out to them for possible match making for dates if I like them or not.
 
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bcude

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You overthink too much.
It's simple, if you see an attractive woman you go up to her and introduce yourself and have a little chat too see what she's all about. Then you ask her out if that is what YOU want.
She either says yes or no. You leave with a number and/or with some real life experience.
Waiting for signs will have you waiting for a long time and is playing it safe, it's trying to avoid rejection in every way, that's not masculine.
Remember, rejection is better than regret.

Meanwhile you build your social circles and make it easier on yourself for the future.
 

samspade

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You overthink too much.
It's simple, if you see an attractive woman you go up to her and introduce yourself and have a little chat too see what she's all about. Then you ask her out if that is what YOU want.
She either says yes or no. You leave with a number and/or with some real life experience.
Waiting for signs will have you waiting for a long time and is playing it safe, it's trying to avoid rejection in every way, that's not masculine.
Remember, rejection is better than regret.

Meanwhile you build your social circles and make it easier on yourself for the future.
Yup. Keep it simple. Start with a chat for chat's sake. Ask her out. It doesn't matter where you are.
 
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