"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Conflicted About Whether Or Not I Need To Do Something

Zapp Brannigan

Senior Don Juan
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Jan 31, 2014
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Lately I've been catching myself feeling affection, and having thoughts that I need to make a move on this girl from last semester. I haven't seen her this
year, but know where I can run into her.

I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind the other night, and it was odd how similar it was to real life. I pretty much see myself as Jim Carrey's character, and this girl is like Kate Winslet's. Long before watching it I imagined things playing out like the relationship on the film did, especially with how they broke up, but at the end they still took the chance to know for sure. I'm thinking now maybe I should take the chance with this girl, just so that way I'd know.

In class I always played things smoothly with her, kept mysterious, and talked/flirted when I had a proper chance to. She liked it, seemed drawn towards me from that, and started flirt/talking to me often. But after a little bit she stopped, and I overheard her talking to her friend about having a new boyfriend. The last time I saw her was when classes got out, she acted sincerely interested and kept saying my name every chance she had.

What kept me from making a move were a few things that I typically see as red flags. She smokes, has several tattoos, a piercing or too that wasn't in the ears, orbiters via snap chat and text, and she would cuss. But I always (and still) thought maybe she wasn't like the other girls into that stuff, she seemed to have this innocence about her that you never see with other girls into those wild thrill seeking activities. Her social media didn't display any red flags either.

Last year during the spring semester I spent a little bit of time pining over this girl from the previous fall. I got a chance to make a move but something in me said "no" so I don't ask her out. Later on find out she was living a double life full of drinking and God knows what else. Thinking about the similarities in situations, part of me believes I might be making a mistake, because I dodged a bullet with that other girl.

What do you think? Should I leave this one in the past?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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EvilSpirit22

Senior Don Juan
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Jun 5, 2014
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Yes you should kill your feelings towards her. You've already answered your query. Red flags, alcohol, smoking etc. When you don't want certain qualities or bad habits in a person then you are suppose to not compromise with your principles just for the sake of feeding your lovey dovey feelings for that person.


Your feelings towards her are actually blinding you and you're unable to see the bad things about her. You do like her because of her so called innocence which is I guess because of her cute looks but deep inside she's a wild animal who loves to party and maybe blow some ****s too.


Never judge a book by its cover and a person by his/her looks.
 

Yewki

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
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You've wasted way too much time and energy with this girl. Are you going to write a thesis on her or what? Either find her and escalate things immediately, or focus on other things/girls.

Comparing your situatoin to a movie isn't going to do you any favors either. Hollywood love stories are nonsense. There is no doubt your ability to attract this girl has been negatively impacted by your previous behavior and lack of action. But if you want to bang her, go for it... not necessarily just to get her, but so that you're better equipped to deal with the next girl. Think ahead.
 

EveryPostHere

Don Juan
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Feb 19, 2015
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Watching a movie about romance????? SMFH. Even if the girl is trouble, pump n dump. She's wife material? Pump n dump. No matter what that is the universal solution to your question.
 
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