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Confidence with optimism vs. without

Michael Chief

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Alright, since the era of blogging is pretty much dead I guess I'll just post whatever I want to ramble about here.

We all know that one guy who loves being negative and talks sh!t about everything. He appears to be confident because he unabashedly criticizes everything as if he's above it all. He speaks with an air of certainty when he says that the next whatever movie is going to be sh!t, that the next date he has is going to be sh!t, that the next weather tomorrow won't be good enough for the whatever event, etc.

He's a pessimist who calls himself a "realist." He seems to be confident but he never seems to have the best of luck not just with women, but with most areas of his life. He's the type of boy you point to as an example of how confidence alone doesn't get you laid.

Well, if you're an older man, of course you're less likely to have any peers around you who are like this since most men outgrow such immaturity eventually. Hopefully you've learned by now that one of the key things that makes confidence attractive is optimism.

Optimism is a mental habit that allows you to eventually develop core confidence as opposed to just situational confidence. It's a mental habit that conditions you to believe that you have the capacity to adapt to any situation, and it makes you behave in ways that align with that. It allows you to face any situation with the positive outcome in mind first as a default, allowing you to transfer positive emotional states far more often.

Even if you've never tried something before, this mental habit allows you to face it with the attractive attitude of a hero from a monomyth. If you've never tried rock climbing, for example, being confident and optimistic will make you excited about the possibilities from the get-go. This excitement and the confidence of you knowing that you're in for a good time will make everyone around you more drawn toward you. It also demonstrates an important trait of a leader.

On the other hand, chicks are just going to be turned off by Mr. Debbie Downer who "confidently" says that we're all just going to get hurt if we climb those rocks.

This concept should come as common sense for the seducers in here, but I noticed a lot of people here calling themselves incels and thought it might be useful to start highlighting their mental inefficiencies as a whole.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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I feel I had a period in my life where I went through what you described above. Not sure what it was, maybe a stage where I felt like I was being dealt cold cards. I eventually snapped out of it. I specifically remember working with a guy who was like this.... He had all the makings of an Alpha but was always complaining about something/someone to whoever would give him an ear.

This also reminds of something I've internalized. Don't complain to women. Women inherently want a man who solves his problems and then listens to theirs...and gets them out of their current negative mental state. Not the other way around.
 
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Gamisch

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I feel I had a period in my life where I went through what you described above. Not sure what it was, maybe a stage where I felt like I was being dealt cold cards. I eventually snapped out of it. I specifically remember working with a guy who was like this.... He had all the makings of an Alpha but was always complaining about something/someone to whoever would give him an ear.

This also reminds of something I've internalized. Don't complain to women. Women inherently want a man who solves his problems and then listens to theirs...and gets them out of their current negative mental state. Not the other way around.
I would add to that you also shouldn't even talk about little complains, such as a shytty day at work or having a cold. Especially in the beginning when you set and thus try to keep frame.

Another thing to avoid is gossiping.
 

Michael Chief

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This also reminds of something I've internalized. Don't complain to women.
Yes and more.

Personally I just don't tend to complain about small things in general whether it's to women, men, or even myself. It's different when it comes to work since I would need to report or "complain" about OSHA violations to managers, for example, but I tend to keep my personal issues to myself. If it's something that I can solve with the help of someone else, I would consult that person directly while dealing with the emotional baggage on my own.

I would like to add a caveat by saying that this isn't healthy to do 100% of the time. You should be comfortable talking about your issues and feelings when it's necessary. If you tend to avoid your own problems and insecurities by burying them deep inside, and you don't already practice therapeutic techniques to get your head on straight, go to therapy.
Another thing to avoid is gossiping.
Yeah, and if other people notice that you don't talk about others behind their backs, they'll know you don't talk about them behind theirs. This can lead to deeper trust and intimacy.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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I would like to add a caveat by saying that this isn't healthy to do 100% of the time. You should be comfortable talking about your issues and feelings when it's necessary.
Yes. Definitely. And some of this has to do when you move into LTR/Partner territory. You can't be a rock/superman 100% of the time. The yin and yang. To fully connect with someone, you do need to be able to "open up" to a degree.

And, to add my own caveat, I must say, there is a difference between "complaining" and merely "observing".
 

Ricky

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Being high energy is important. Optimism is great in particular showing you are resilient

Its been my experience that alot of Women love sarcasm and **** talking and even gossiping so i dont agree with all the posts above that one needs to avoid these all the time
 

Dr.Suave

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We all know that one guy who loves being negative and talks sh!t about everything. He appears to be confident because he unabashedly criticizes everything as if he's above it all.

He's a pessimist who calls himself a "realist." He seems to be confident but he never seems to have the best of luck not just with women, but with most areas of his life.
AKA the average SoSuave Poster.
 

RazorRambo24

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Great post.

Optimism is huge. Positivity goes hand in hand with it.

If you can be optimistic through any difficulty/ problem/obstacle it will serve you very well.
 

Gamisch

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I love this thread. Just want to bumb it.

AKA the average SoSuave Poster.
Absolutely true. To "cut myself some slack" ; its just a fact that the brain and soul will deteriorate over time. You'll learn traumatic lessons and thus become more and more catious about women and love. Its just an automatic response from the brain to protect oneself.

Optimism and positivity are a great medicine. At some point you gotta let go off the past. Like a striker that didn't score couple games. You can't keep believing that you CAN'T do it .

We all say LMS is needed to be successful with women. But imo optimism is even more important.
 

Michael Chief

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We all say LMS is needed to be successful with women.
If this is the general consensus here then this community has really changed since I was last here. All these different colored pills popping up and pissing in the pool...
 

Gamisch

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If this is the general consensus here then this community has really changed since I was last here. All these different colored pills popping up and pissing in the pool...
I geuss that's because of a few reasons;

-The real woman lover/ player becomes a rare breed.
- LMS is a cope. I've always been dependent upon my personality.

To me its sad to see that these types of threads barely get any responses. While thread nr 2000 about hypergamy, female nature, ect will get 50 responses in a day.

Its on each man individually to find a way to be positive despite whatever. Always been like this. A optimistic Viking decided to see what's overseas. A optimistic man decided we actually can flyike birds, and dive like whales.

Negativism is what kills us inside. Literally.
 

Ricky

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Hold one what is LMS? Looks money size? Lol
 

Dr.Suave

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