"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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confidence vs ****iness?????

shadowinurdreams

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We all know women like confident men and somehow they can smell any insecurities from a distance lol but out of curiosity what would you guys say confident is and when is the line crossed to being to ****y?

I am also basing this around men and women that are mature mid 20's and up (i know plenty of 30 yr olds that are immature but for the sake of the argument lets assume 25 and up for women and men a couple years older)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Julius_Seizeher

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****iness is kosher in moderation, though with no regard for what she is going to think of it. IMO, excessive ****iness is a symptom of unconfidence (ie: posing). We should work to build our inner temple, and the outer acoutrements take care of themselves.
 

Perfect10

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This is how I see it.

If you're confident: You move confidently, talk calmly, not brag, not overexaggerate, social, brave in any situation, take the spotlight but not being needy.

****y: You move overlyconfidently but it seems mechanical since you're thinking about moving "extra cool", Talk too much with an assholish voice trying too hard, bragging, overexaggerating, being forcefully social, trying overtly hard to be social which makes you seem weird, trying to take spotlight in a needy way which makes you unintresting.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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zekko

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If you're confident: You move confidently, talk calmly, not brag, not overexaggerate, social, brave in any situation, take the spotlight but not being needy.

****y: You move overlyconfidently but it seems mechanical since you're thinking about moving "extra cool", Talk too much with an assholish voice trying too hard, bragging, overexaggerating, being forcefully social, trying overtly hard to be social which makes you seem weird, trying to take spotlight in a needy way which makes you unintresting.
This makes perfect sense to me but I still find that if you put on the exaggeration a bit (****iness) the girls eat it up. It disappoints me to say this, but that's my experience. Don't know why they respond to it, but they do. It's equivalent to a girl sticking her boobs out, I guess. They're there anyway, but they're making them more noticeable.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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****iness is only as good as the mindset from which it comes.
 

DavenJuan

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zekko said:
This makes perfect sense to me but I still find that if you put on the exaggeration a bit (****iness) the girls eat it up. It disappoints me to say this, but that's my experience. Don't know why they respond to it, but they do. It's equivalent to a girl sticking her boobs out, I guess. They're there anyway, but they're making them more noticeable.
no reason to be "disappointed".

****iness CAN be sexy to some women, but only to an extent..IMO. just like the girl who shows her boos that you referenced. If she ALWAYS has those suckers out, people will start to catagorize her as an attention *****. when she does it subtly, its more appealing.

in my experience, sometimes confidence can cause issues with other peoples perception of you. at times, some may intepret this as ****y. so be it.

when you stop carrying so much about what others think of you, that in itself is confidence.
 
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