Confession time: made a real AFC mess of it (long, deal with it)

[Infern0]

I haven't been around for a few months but im here to confess my sins.

So the first half of this year was good for me but the second half went south in a big way.

My old workplace closed down and i got redundency, as im studying currently i got student benefit for a month or so before i thought i needed something more substantial payment wise. Anyway just as i started looking for a new job i got hit with labryntititis which is a horrible inner ear problem which causes fatigue and dizziness and can last upto A YEAR.

so im at home with this crap, can't train, struggling to even walk to the store when it was in it's acute phase.

Anyway thats the setup, now to the "meat" of the story.

There was this girl (you already know it's bad when it starts with that) who i knew for a couple of years and i "almost" got with back in the very early days of me being red pill. But.. i AFC'd it up and thankfully moved on pretty quick while she entered an ltr soon after.

I did really like this girl at the time. Looks wise, she was very much my type, DID look a bit like a porn star but also looked very "cute" even with no makeup, killer bod, great ass etc etc, just instant boner material. Also her personality was my type too, very fun, great banter etc etc.

Anyway after 6 months or so of not really even thinking about her she suddenly started messeging me and very quickly dropped that she was single now... interesting. Literally a day or two later she text me saying she was at her friends house on my street, we ended up meeting and having a great time, then we went to town together and start drinking. I had an awesome night just us two on the town and at some point she gave me the "**** me" eyes and i kissed her then and there. And soon enough we were back in my bedroom. She stripped down to her thong and bent over to plug her phone in and man... that view... phew... i also have a bit of a foot fetish so her feet and ass together was like wow...

Anyway i have to add that this was the FIRST time in my life ive ever "got" a girl i REALLY wanted. And to a recovering blue pill/ hard AFC the feeling was like being on drugs.... we had an amazing night, didnt sleep until 11am. I was turing blue (pill) at an alarming rate and she was feeding it with "i always knew i should have been with you" and talking about what an amazing "summer WE were going to have". And while my red pill side was like "calm down" my blue pill side was screaming "yes, yes, yes, she's the one"

I deploy SOP but in my decrepit state i was laying on my bed all day with nothing to keep me occupied.... i manage to keep things cool for a couple of weeks where everything was going fine until one night she asks me to meet her in town where she was drinking with her friend. It was 9pm so i was like nah, ill follow "game" and say im busy because she didnt plan in advance. The next day i check her snapstory and she's all over some other dude.

I drop frame faster than you can say afc and try to set something up for the weekend to which i get a "maybe". MY hampster starts spinning and the next day as im driving to a friends i see her drive past me with her EX in the passenger seat.

My frame exploded and i started a "you said he was a loser" fight. And on the internal level... i knew id ****ed it up.

A little while later she reached out and i gave it one half assed attempt to get things going but sure as the sky is blue i was nothing but friendzoned orbiter material to her so i did the only thing i could and ghosted in some vain attempt to salvage a modicum of dignity.....

The regret is strong.

Roast away... or give a kind word if you feel charitable

 

[marmel75]

On the plus side you banged her out...hopefully you made those few times count...

 

[Trump]

The next day i check her snapstory and she's all over some other dude.

I drop frame faster than you can say afc and try to set something up for the weekend to which i get a "maybe". MY hampster starts spinning and the next day as im driving to a friends i see her drive past me with her EX in the passenger seat.

My frame exploded and i started a "you said he was a loser" fight. And on the internal level... i knew id ****ed it up.

LOL. That's hilarious.

A little while later she reached out and i gave it one half assed attempt to get things going but sure as the sky is blue i was nothing but friendzoned orbiter material to her so i did the only thing i could and ghosted in some vain attempt to salvage a modicum of dignity.....

The regret is strong.

Roast away... or give a kind word if you feel charitable

NO regrets bro. Phone her up and say "What are you doing? Want to hang out?"

Men, don't value these women so much. If you were CEO of a company with 250 employees under you and needed a secretary, you would phone her and say "I need a secretary, pay you 3K/month + benefits. Come in for an interview?"

The girl who KISS your hand and beg you to take her out. All this crap, friend zone, orbiter, she is the one, ALL out the window when you make yourself important.

 

[Infern0]

not "games" fault

it was your choice not to go and probably for the best. did you think that it was a possibility she was setting up an epic shlt test for you to run into the dude she ended hanging out with? cause thats a real thing these chicks do. i can only imagine your frame in THAT scenario.

and if she ended up calling the other guy after you declined, then i can only imagine how lovely this girl must be that youre losing sleep over

Well im not sure but i dont think it was planned or a setup. It was also kind of a rebound situation so who really knows.

 

[Infern0]

Oddly enough she just messaged me asking "how i am"

Yup, good thanks.

6th sense or something

 

[sosousage]

is the muscled guy in your avatar you?

if so, you have potential to have 10 plates easily

if not, she behaved trashy. move on. if theres sex, take it, but thats it, if not, then move on.

 

[Infern0]

is the muscled guy in your avatar you?

if so, you have potential to have 10 plates easily

if not, she behaved trashy. move on. if theres sex, take it, but thats it, if not, then move on.

Yeah it's me but last year. Ive had chronic mild illness for the past 7 months though so currently nowhere near that condition.

As for her, i think it's gone, but yeah obviously if she hits me up I'll cash in.

 

[Asasione]

Not really a big loss in my opinion, you had fun, banged her for awhile (she offers more down the line keep things casual), move on to greater and better things. You don't show up she's all over she's all over another guy I wouldn't lose any sleep over such a low quality girl lol. You have to wait out your condition to resolve itself or is there medicine that can help? Sounds terrible

 

[Infern0]

Not really a big loss in my opinion, you had fun, banged her for awhile (she offers more down the line keep things casual), move on to greater and better things. You don't show up she's all over she's all over another guy I wouldn't lose any sleep over such a low quality girl lol. You have to wait out your condition to resolve itself or is there medicine that can help? Sounds terrible

Have to wait it out. Basically a virus destroyed the nerve in one of my ears which acts as a gyroscope to keep you balanced. Eventually over months and months your brain adapts to it and eventually you get back to normal.

First month i had full on vertigo, it was like being on a rowing boat in stormy water. I tried to push through it but ended up literally passing out unconcious in a mall toilet cubicle, but the worst part was the fatigue, going downstairs and making a sandwich would exhaust me to the point I'd have to have a nap for 2 hours. And prior to this i was a very active person.

After about a month it improved to mild dizziness which i can cope with but the fatigue and brainfog is still quite bad. On a good day i can maybe do a 50% effort workout but lifting heavy makes all hell break loose.

I think its a big part of the reason i contracted oneitis because i cant get out and do much so you just lie on the couch with your mind going.

But the good news is, touch wood, it seems to be clearing up finally and I'd say im at 65% of "normal" energy for me.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

To be fair, you probably wouldn't have reacted that way with the bird if it wasn't for your illness. The brain fog / mental incapacity you mention can never be under-estimated, especially in the first person experience. And, especially when you have an issue in the ear / nose / throat, when there's inflammation so close to the brain. It needs to be closely monitored. I remember having a tooth abscess; I've honestly never known discomfort like it.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Get yourself back in shape and you'll be good to go again by the summer.

 

[17 shots]

When they hit you up to chit chat, that's when you ignore them, but if a chick is hitting me up to hangout I'm going to see what's up. U said that the first time she hit you up to hang out was a random moment as well, and u smashed her. So i definitely would of met up with her lol.... but seriously tho, all that afc drama u did will keep her around lol. They love that. Now u guys have a history, and u showed her u cared. They need that roller coaster of emotions. Thats why they hit there exes up. When she hits u up to chill again you'll be ready

 

[Glassguy]

I agree with @LARaiders85

This chick is loose...as in wh0re. Not a bad thing because you got to hit it.

But realize this......no matter if you met her out or not, she would have been all over some other guy in no time. If not that night, another night,

She is recently single and you banged her once. She is playing the field. Guys do it too my man.

Just play it cool and act as if its no big deal if you want to bang her again. Obviously she shouldnt be on your list of chicks to settle down with.

 

[derby1]

My frame exploded and i started a "you said he was a loser" fight.

One of my Ex's tells everyone the hate she has for me , id go as far as she spits acid according to others...

I bed her at least once every 3-4 weeks

 

[Infern0]

To be fair, you probably wouldn't have reacted that way with the bird if it wasn't for your illness. The brain fog / mental incapacity you mention can never be under-estimated, especially in the first person experience. And, especially when you have an issue in the ear / nose / throat, when there's inflammation so close to the brain. It needs to be closely monitored. I remember having a tooth abscess; I've honestly never known discomfort like it.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Get yourself back in shape and you'll be good to go again by the summer.

True, the effects of the illness on me this year can't be understated, not just in the area of women either.

2018 is gonna be a rebuild year but ah well

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

To be fair, you probably wouldn't have reacted that way with the bird if it wasn't for your illness. The brain fog / mental incapacity you mention can never be under-estimated, especially in the first person experience. And, especially when you have an issue in the ear / nose / throat, when there's inflammation so close to the brain. It needs to be closely monitored. I remember having a tooth abscess; I've honestly never known discomfort like it.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Get yourself back in shape and you'll be good to go again by the summer.

I’m not trying to be a downer, but I remember inferno making several other threads/posts about a similar issue, meaning he goes from alpha af to a simpering beta. I don’t think sickness has anything to do with it.

Listen my dude, you probably have some sort of underlying psychological factor that’s affecting you because on the inside, you’re still too gentle. You have to figure out what all that stuff is via asking yourself questions (what is it about her that turns me into a simpering afc no matter how suave I am with other girls?, why do I find her so perfect even though logically I know that she cannot be?, why do I find these traits so extremely attractive/arousing?, why is it that me and her are so compatible despite me fvcking it up?, etc.), psychoanalysis, looking at the very core of your being and trying to find out why it is the way it is, etc.

You need to fully figure yourself out. "Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power." - Lao Tzu. If you master yourself, you cannot be controlled by others and you can see what buttons are being pushed that make you tick, and you will laugh because you’ll know whether it’s done out with sincerity or if it is done out of malevolence.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

"Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power." - Lao Tzu

This is very true. Though that power only comes from true grit and hard work and consistent resilience over a sustained period. We know that especially here and we can't say we are perfect 100% of the time, none of us.

I believe Inferno to be a true player but yes, he has fcked up, showing his hand to this bent broad. No great loss. I'm just pointing to his mitigating circumstance, for his own benefit if nothing else. The body and the mind are totally dependent on each other.

Just another experience that we can all learn from.

 

[Infern0]

This is very true. Though that power only comes from true grit and hard work and consistent resilience over a sustained period. We know that especially here and we can't say we are perfect 100% of the time, none of us.

I believe Inferno to be a true player but yes, he has fcked up, showing his hand to this bent broad. No great loss. I'm just pointing to his mitigating circumstance, for his own benefit if nothing else. The body and the mind are totally dependent on each other.

Just another experience that we can all learn from.

I think it was a bit of both. Had i been active and busy then i would have just kept her firmly in the FWB until proven to be worth more category, but an idle mind is a dangerous thing

To the previous poster, there is certainly some remnants of blue pill still in me, im working on clearing it, its a process.

 

[Infern0]

She is not wifey material, house money. You did ok.

Who is these days?

Like being 100% serious where do you find an attractive, young female who isnt at least somewhat slutty?

I knew one girl who was a 19 y/o student who was "cute" but who still lived with her parents and was not a slut

She moved out at the start of this year and the number of guys who have run through her since then is alarming. She even has the "100 **** stare" now. Last time i was at that flat having drinks she was munching a pack of doritos talking about how she waw gonna do "the trifecta" which is 3 different guys on 3 nights in a row.

I dont know if "housewife material" exists or if the best you can do is find a "moderate slutty" girl and game her into behaving herself.

Educate me if im wrong.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

foreign women

I myself haven’t been with one, but last I heard of this was that this is a horrible idea to bring them to the states because then they “got that third world survivor instinct with the entitlement of a first world woman”, or something like that. You’re older than me though; how true is this?