"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
condoms
- Thread starter alonzo
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
Did you know that you can get herpes from a chick giving you a BJ with no protection?
Suppose she's got cooties on her mouth/in her mouth/around her mouth? You should feel lucky you have girls that smart giving you BJs, Alonzo...most of the girls I know that are the BJ type are dumb sorority broads.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Jango_Xavier
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2003
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Buy ultra thin condoms because with normals ones you dont get such a good feeling.
myfriendblu
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2003
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OHHHHHH NOOOO!!!!!!!!
I would bet the reason she is making you wear one is that SHE has something and doesn't wanna tell you....Just an assumption....
FlyGuy
Master Don Juan
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I think someone said that already...
You don't have to type word 'condom' wrong....
Yeah, but I wouldn't like it on my d!ck...
And mouth and genital herpes are different. OK, it can transfer itself, but she doesn't automatically have it in her mouth if she has it in her *****.