"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Complicated @ the Academy

Twist of Cain

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We've been on and off for 3 years. I'm 28, her 22. blonde, 9, bartender etc..

She dumped me over the holidays, 3 weeks later she contacts me while I'm on course in the military..

we see each other, then she goes hot and cold. it's been rinse and repeat like this for 3 months..

I'm in Police Academy, an hour tops from her place. We saw each other a few times right up until I left for the Academy. She initiated both times.

When we parted on the final day, she kissed me on the cheek (in public as I was seeing her off in the subway) I said no, lips - we did, she said "text me".. I said no ___, you text me.. you text me." Dead eyes at her, making my intentions known that I won't be chasing you, or following your lead..

She knew that I'd be confined to base for 3 weeks, then I'll be allowed weekends off.

We parted april 3 i think.. it was a Saturday - awkwardly saw some of her friends at the club I used to bounce at, that night - I was there for the free booze I get when I'm there etc..

This may have been a factor, or not, however, being confined to base, without any decent tail in miles...

..and no text from her. nothing. more games on her end, i'm assuming.

she's insecure etc.. either she's holding out for me to initiate a text, because she did the past few times - she found another guy - or she lost interest.

the times we hung out previous to leaving for the academy were totally fine imo.. yet here I am - big time depressed when I'm alone. more lonely than anything - weekends are the worst, holy sh!t.. 2 remaining until weekends off..

should i shoot out a text, indifferent in nature, almost dismissive, saying something like "predicate the text, classy."

This is a bad emotional drug I'm getting out of me..
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Peaks&Valleys

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Twist of Cain said:
I said no ___, you text me.. you text me." Dead eyes at her, making my intentions known that I won't be chasing you, or following your lead...
Besides sounding childish, you're setting yourself up for a lose/lose situation.
 

hithard

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Ween yourself off her. Hate fuc.king, mismatched and a whole lot of oneitis, you are not in love you are just possessive. Is it a self-confidence issue where you think this is the only girl you can get?
Is/was this your first serious relationship?
A lot of bodybuilders(think you mentioned you were one) I know have zero game ability.
 

Twist of Cain

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im fine with game. more don draper with strong eye contact and slow speech..

it is what it is. im doing my thing, progressing as a man - this is a hinderance that im allowing - im thinking i may have played it too indifferently, thats why im going back & forth

ive ltr'd with a model before her - my weakness is oneitis due to childhood sh!t, being ignored etc..

yup - have a pretty embarrassing history w her on this site. but its the internet so im cool putting it out there
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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zekko

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Twist of Cain said:
she said "text me".. I said no ___, you text me.. you text me." Dead eyes at her, making my intentions known that I won't be chasing you, or following your lead.
If she's an HB9, 22 years old, and a bartender, I'm sure she's getting multiple offers every day. She must have a lot of options. It strikes me that you are playing pretty heavy hardball with her, and she can't miss that either.

Why should she stay with you when I'm sure she can find someone else willing to give a little bit here and there? It's one thing to not be needy, but she has to get SOMETHING out of the relationship.

Having said that, I would not consider a 22 year old bartender for a potential LTR. Very bad risk.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Twist of Cain,
I would be flattered if a hot Bar Girl ever fancied me...I would maximise whatever opportunity she offered,but as for considering her LTR material,Oh don't be a Masochist,she is too smart and in an ideal place to lead you a constant Dance...Keep her at Arms length,spin more Plates!
 

Twist of Cain

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@ zekko. youre saying i should shoot a text..?

ex: I forgot, are we fighting and most importantly am I winning? 

or: i just met your twin
 
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