"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Completely lost interest....

hondoj

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Hello,

Used to lurk here a few years back, now I finally have a specific question so thought I'd register.

Like the title says, I have completely lost interest in chasing women. I got back from Afghanistan a few months ago, I had a few hang overs from the tour, not being able to sleep properly and the like, but on the whole I have got over them.

A few things have lingered, one of them being my lack of interest in women. I still get turned on by them and have had sex since being back, but I have absolutely no drive to try to pick up women or put in any effort whatsoever. The sex is still good but feels a lot more mechanical and almost like I'm detached from it, not what it was like before.

As far as I can tell I'm not suffering from PTSD or anything like that, I can function fine, don't get hammered all the time, don't feel especially violent. If anything it just feels like I do all my social interaction through a glass screen and can't relate to others at all. I used to be much more energized when I socialized and especially when picking up women.

I'm still alright with friends, family and women I've known previously, just I'm finding it hard to feel any spark when I meet new people.

Anyone else had this before? Any ideas how to snap out of it?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Samwild

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Having experienced so much within one's lifetime, I too can relate to your issue at hand. Course, I have coupled this with analysis of the game and for that matter why the game exist in the first place and the damage it is creating. I have come to the conclusion that my attraction to the succubus sex lies solely upon their thought process and the validation, through action, to warrant a female to engage with on a level that excites all the synapses to pursue. Basically, shifting through the rabble to find the diamonds in the rough that give you that "WOW" factor to investigate them. How long in this rut depends on demographics and life experiences that only you can act upon and take into account. It is a phase though, and I pray it will pass for both of us.
 
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Alvafe

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I'm new, but I think even though I want to learn the game, most of time I lack the interest of pursue woman, i'm trying to get some plates, but I don't really feel like to do it, sex is nice and all but I don't feel like to place any effort on it, maybe because every once in a while I do find a girl I feel like going after, I "crash and burn" then move on. reason I find this forum was because of that last one, its feel like I lose and since I hate losing, I start to get pissed and care even less for all this annoying thing womans like to make the dude pass.

feh I almost deleted that all I just write, gona leave it, just to see if after sometime I will change or not, let it be like a vent
 

marmel75

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Easiest way is to get your testosterone level up. No way you would be feeling like that with a high testosterone level. Hit the gym and lift weights. Take a test booster or anti aromatase to block estrogen conversion and start taking zinc.

Sounds like a problem of low testosterone levels...
 

flashpoint

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hondoj said:
Hello,

As far as I can tell I'm not suffering from PTSD or anything like that, I can function fine, don't get hammered all the time, don't feel especially violent. If anything it just feels like I do all my social interaction through a glass screen and can't relate to others at all. I used to be much more energized when I socialized and especially when picking up women.

I'm still alright with friends, family and women I've known previously, just I'm finding it hard to feel any spark when I meet new people.

Anyone else had this before? Any ideas how to snap out of it?
still would say that is a case for therapy. there is no shame in it. sounds like you managed to stay sane over there by becoming more and more detached and now that you are here the situation might have changed but not your inner strategies.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Samwild

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marmel75 said:
Easiest way is to get your testosterone level up. No way you would be feeling like that with a high testosterone level. Hit the gym and lift weights. Take a test booster or anti aromatase to block estrogen conversion and start taking zinc.

Sounds like a problem of low testosterone levels...
If he is getting nice morning wood, his T levels are fine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=_BIcaPzuMl0 I enter this for the argument of the perceived notion that higher T levels equate to success with women. I would like to point out the large bald gentleman in the end of the episode mentioned abstinence for his high T levels which is outside the scope of this forum, but quite eye opening to the practices and ideology used quite often about testosterone. YMMV with this information:rock:
 

hondoj

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Thanks for the advice guys. I lift weights regularly already, but have started taking Zinc supplements. Time will tell I suppose. Thanks!
 

break yourself

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OP - if you believe these feelings are unnaturally or inappropriately interfering with your happiness or life wellness, there is no shame in seeking professional help. The VA will likely be an inexpensive option. I know people who work at the VA hospital, and they are among the best trained doctors in the country.

If you're more along the lines of this guy:

Alvafe said:
I'm new, but I think even though I want to learn the game, most of time I lack the interest of pursue woman, i'm trying to get some plates, but I don't really feel like to do it, sex is nice and all but I don't feel like to place any effort on it, maybe because every once in a while I do find a girl I feel like going after, I "crash and burn" then move on. reason I find this forum was because of that last one, its feel like I lose and since I hate losing, I start to get pissed and care even less for all this annoying thing womans like to make the dude pass.

feh I almost deleted that all I just write, gona leave it, just to see if after sometime I will change or not, let it be like a vent

...that's okay. I do the same thing, even though I know I can pick up a lot of the women who I meet, I rarely have the drive to do so unless: 1. It's been a very long time since I've been laid, or; 2. I immediately see LTR potential in the girl.

I know this (2) is bad strategy because it's hard to see LTR relationship material in someone who you've just met, but that's just how I've always been. To the guy I quoted and to the OP, if that's your issue, there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe you're just not interested in pursuing a relationship with the girls who you meet or maybe even any relationship at all at the moment. For example, I intentionally did not bother with women for the entirety of last fall, and that was probably one of the happiest and best-lived times of my life.

Even casual dating can be time / money consuming and worse, carry unwanted drama, which you may not be in the mood for at this point in your life. Whatever your issue, search your soul and try to come up with the reason why you are not interested in women and then assess whether it's actually a problem. Then, act accordingly.
 

WC2

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hondoj said:
Hello,

Used to lurk here a few years back, now I finally have a specific question so thought I'd register.

Like the title says, I have completely lost interest in chasing women. I got back from Afghanistan a few months ago, I had a few hang overs from the tour, not being able to sleep properly and the like, but on the whole I have got over them.

A few things have lingered, one of them being my lack of interest in women. I still get turned on by them and have had sex since being back, but I have absolutely no drive to try to pick up women or put in any effort whatsoever. The sex is still good but feels a lot more mechanical and almost like I'm detached from it, not what it was like before.

As far as I can tell I'm not suffering from PTSD or anything like that, I can function fine, don't get hammered all the time, don't feel especially violent. If anything it just feels like I do all my social interaction through a glass screen and can't relate to others at all. I used to be much more energized when I socialized and especially when picking up women.

I'm still alright with friends, family and women I've known previously, just I'm finding it hard to feel any spark when I meet new people.

Anyone else had this before? Any ideas how to snap out of it?
What are you life goals?
Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

'Going to the gym and staying in shape' cannot be an answer here, BTW.

My guess is that your life is missing a little bit of direction. Kind of like, well sh!t, what now?

Personally I find that having short and long-term goals give me both short and long-term happiness.

Happiness then propels me to want to share my happiness with someone.

I don't think you have a testosterone problem. You plainly set that you have no problem f*cking the living daylights out of broads. However there is not emotion involved.. no desire.

My sense is that you have no desire because you really have no desire to move in one direction and conquer something.

Please give me hell if I'm totally wrong, but in the past I've felt very similar to what you're describing.
 
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