"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Communication Breakdown

bigneil

bigneil

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Ok I usually don't post text conversations, but in this case I think I may have misinterpreted something so I'd like to get feedback on how others read this.

Here was the conversation with a girl I went on one date with April 7:


April 13, 2012

ME) Hi, How are things? (3:10PM)
HER) Hey! Things are good. How are you? (3:11PM)
ME) We should get together again Sunday night. (3:12PM)
HER) I have a little birthday party to go to Sunday (3:16PM)

(no contact for 7 days)

April 20, 2012

ME) Hi, How are things? You've been awfully quiet. (3:00PM)
HER) Hey!! I'm fine working every day. You've been quiet also. How are you? (5:43PM)
ME) The photo of you came out great. When you called after we had dinner that night I thought for sure I'd see you again. Are you still single? ;) (5:45PM)
HER) Photo of me? Send it to me please. Yes still single. (5:48PM)
ME) Please send your email as it's a large file. (6:06PM)
HER) (her email) (6:08PM)
ME) (emailed photo)
ME) No comment on the photo? Anyhow if you're available Monday we should get together for a drink. (7:37PM)
HER) I haven't checked it out yet. Just got the ballpark for baseball game. (8:04PM)
HER) I don't like my hair in that picture. But everything else seems fine ;) Thank you. (8:36PM)
ME) Ok well it was nice knowing you. (9:07PM)
HER) What does that mean? (9:14PM)



-----------------------

At first I thought she was avoiding the question and applied the two strike rule, but then I realized that by "everything else seems fine" she might have been agreeing to a drink Monday (versus referring to the photo). If that's the case, how do I back my way out of this one?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Chamber36

Chamber36

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lol I don't think you can.

She doesn't seem very excited by the offer of drinks on monday. I'd say you can charge it to the game.

Of course you can always text her something like: "well do you want to go out or not?" Or you could tell her that you need confirmation because you could do other stuff on monday.

You might still be able to weasel your way out of this one. Of course my idea is just off the top of my head, maybe you know better, or someone else.
 
B

betheman

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Just leave it, nothing to go on, your wasting time and texts by replying anymore
 
bigneil

bigneil

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This might not be high interest, but it's clearly not low interest either. They don't go on a date, make out, respond quickly to lots of messages on Friday night, ask lots of questions, provide their email, and say they are single if they have low interest.
 
P

Pimp-sicle

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Her comment about everything else seems fine was strictly referring to the photo. So you were correct in assuming that.

Other thing I would point out is you went almost a week without contact and then jumped right into asking her out. I would've bantered with her for a little, get the good vibes going, maybe make a reference to something from your date the previous week to get her feeling that good vibe she felt when she was with you.

Also I know there is differing opinion on this, but giving options works better to secure dates than saying one day that your free, especially early on.





PIMP
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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PrettyBoyAJ

PrettyBoyAJ

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Pick up the phone. Don't text her like the other 50+ guys are doing.
 
bigneil

bigneil

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Well I took the advice of the previous 3 posts by PrettyBoyAJ, ezio and JohnCrops (in that order!) - but I took it to the next level.

Tonight I randomly showed up at her work where she is a barmaid - she ran over and hugged me and kissed me on the lips and said "What the hell were you talking about last night? It's over?" and I said "Of course not... we just had a communication breakdown... with texting it's hard to convey sarcasm...".

We're going out Sunday. Thanks everyone.
 
Atom Smasher

Atom Smasher

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Late to the party, but you let way too much time pass for that week.

Not sure saying "I thought for sure I'd see you again" was a good idea. Sounds a little passive and dependent.

She seems to ignore your questions and only responds that which strokes her ego.

I'm writing from my tablet so please excuse the brevity.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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