"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Communication Breakdown

bigneil

bigneil

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Ok I usually don't post text conversations, but in this case I think I may have misinterpreted something so I'd like to get feedback on how others read this.

Here was the conversation with a girl I went on one date with April 7:


April 13, 2012

ME) Hi, How are things? (3:10PM)
HER) Hey! Things are good. How are you? (3:11PM)
ME) We should get together again Sunday night. (3:12PM)
HER) I have a little birthday party to go to Sunday (3:16PM)

(no contact for 7 days)

April 20, 2012

ME) Hi, How are things? You've been awfully quiet. (3:00PM)
HER) Hey!! I'm fine working every day. You've been quiet also. How are you? (5:43PM)
ME) The photo of you came out great. When you called after we had dinner that night I thought for sure I'd see you again. Are you still single? ;) (5:45PM)
HER) Photo of me? Send it to me please. Yes still single. (5:48PM)
ME) Please send your email as it's a large file. (6:06PM)
HER) (her email) (6:08PM)
ME) (emailed photo)
ME) No comment on the photo? Anyhow if you're available Monday we should get together for a drink. (7:37PM)
HER) I haven't checked it out yet. Just got the ballpark for baseball game. (8:04PM)
HER) I don't like my hair in that picture. But everything else seems fine ;) Thank you. (8:36PM)
ME) Ok well it was nice knowing you. (9:07PM)
HER) What does that mean? (9:14PM)



-----------------------

At first I thought she was avoiding the question and applied the two strike rule, but then I realized that by "everything else seems fine" she might have been agreeing to a drink Monday (versus referring to the photo). If that's the case, how do I back my way out of this one?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Chamber36

Chamber36

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lol I don't think you can.

She doesn't seem very excited by the offer of drinks on monday. I'd say you can charge it to the game.

Of course you can always text her something like: "well do you want to go out or not?" Or you could tell her that you need confirmation because you could do other stuff on monday.

You might still be able to weasel your way out of this one. Of course my idea is just off the top of my head, maybe you know better, or someone else.
 
B

betheman

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Just leave it, nothing to go on, your wasting time and texts by replying anymore
 
bigneil

bigneil

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This might not be high interest, but it's clearly not low interest either. They don't go on a date, make out, respond quickly to lots of messages on Friday night, ask lots of questions, provide their email, and say they are single if they have low interest.
 
P

Pimp-sicle

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Her comment about everything else seems fine was strictly referring to the photo. So you were correct in assuming that.

Other thing I would point out is you went almost a week without contact and then jumped right into asking her out. I would've bantered with her for a little, get the good vibes going, maybe make a reference to something from your date the previous week to get her feeling that good vibe she felt when she was with you.

Also I know there is differing opinion on this, but giving options works better to secure dates than saying one day that your free, especially early on.





PIMP
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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PrettyBoyAJ

PrettyBoyAJ

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Pick up the phone. Don't text her like the other 50+ guys are doing.
 
bigneil

bigneil

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Well I took the advice of the previous 3 posts by PrettyBoyAJ, ezio and JohnCrops (in that order!) - but I took it to the next level.

Tonight I randomly showed up at her work where she is a barmaid - she ran over and hugged me and kissed me on the lips and said "What the hell were you talking about last night? It's over?" and I said "Of course not... we just had a communication breakdown... with texting it's hard to convey sarcasm...".

We're going out Sunday. Thanks everyone.
 
Atom Smasher

Atom Smasher

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Late to the party, but you let way too much time pass for that week.

Not sure saying "I thought for sure I'd see you again" was a good idea. Sounds a little passive and dependent.

She seems to ignore your questions and only responds that which strokes her ego.

I'm writing from my tablet so please excuse the brevity.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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