"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Common habits which kill your confidence

backseatjuan

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Staying in situation you dislike

Intense focus on practice

Belief that a certain person's approval will make you happy

Disqualifying yourself verbally prior to doing something

Saying "I don't care" in order to be kind

The Six Pillars of Self Esteem audiobook and ebook


 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
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Advice from the old lady:

Here are some things that I catch my guy doing that trick fvck his mind & erode his confidence. Not gonna BS, I struggle with them as well too from time to time...

1. Negative assumption. Never ever assume something that relates to you in a negative light relative to someone else. This has a passive aggressive quality to it, and it creates a sense of feeling bad or projecting negativity and insecurity into an otherwise neutral situation. Poison is negative assumption. Things like:

-She doesn’t like me
-She’s ignoring me
-She’s mad
-Im not good enough
-I can never make you happy (Um....not your responsibility, FYI)

This kind of thought puts you down and holds you back and sours both your attitude & perspective.

Negative assumption is a self esteem assassin. This is what I find my BF doing as a matter of habit without thinking about it. It’s interesting because when it’s pointed out & called out he is able to step back & observe this self defeating behavior...and can consciously work to overcome it.

Frankly lots of the community here does this.

2. Inaction. I live by the maxim that “a man (or woman) with experience is never at the mercy of a man with a theory.” In other words ACT. Action annihilates fear and builds innate confidence through doing and doing IN SPITE of fear (that my friends is courage). You can not be a shrinking scaredy cat if you are out there in the line of Fire taking the heat and surviving to tell the tale of survival TO YOURSELF. After you realize you’ll survive...then you’ll learn you can thrive. Your fear will evaporate into vapor and vanish. I know. I have done it and overcome various fears through action.

Those two things will go a long way toward changing your outcomes in life.

Cheers -BE
 
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