"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Colon Cleansing?

itishe

Master Don Juan
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I'm thinking about fasting for a day or two to clean out my colon due to the fact I constantly take incomplete dumps. I'll be in the bathroom for 25 minutes and beyond and still have more to excrete except that it won't come out.

I usually don't like talking about my poo but this is necessary because it's pissing me off. Do you think fasting a day or two to clean me out would be effective?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Caferacer

Don Juan
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let me go ahead and warn you about the 'colon cleanser' stuff you can buy online. Snake oil. The majority of the **** that can be found online is specifically designed not to properly digest. It becomes kind of like jello with a membrane, and that is what you crap out. So the stuff you think was jamming up your crapper was just the stuff you drank to clean it out in the first place.

Yes, I've tried it, and yes it is disgusting.

If you have trouble crapping, eat more greens and fiber.

Still have trouble pooping? Drink a cup of straight black, strong coffee and smoke a newport cigarette in the morning.
 

Kuroro

Don Juan
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Adding more fiber, water, probiotics, HCL and digestive enzymes to your diet will most likely do it for you. Prunes always give me the runs.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

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