College Redemption: “So There’s This One Girl…”

[nicksaiz65]

The title is mostly a joke lol. But sometimes, I end up in these very specific situations and I like to make threads on them. Not only because it’s helpful for the situation, but it helps to deal with similar situations in the future.

And yes, I Cold Approach every weekend so it’s not actually Oneitis lol.

So there’s this girl that I went to college with, I saw her around the music building. Very cute. I have her on Snapchat, but that’s about it. That’s about as far as I got in my AFC days

We really didn’t talk like that, even though I wanted to. I just didn’t know how to at the time. I’m not even sure if she has a boyfriend now, tbh.

I’m browsing my college’s music page looking for concerts I can go to, and I see that this same girl is coming back to town and performing in a concert. I’m actually interested in the performance, and I haven’t seen her in ages.

I hit her up over Snapchat, and I plan to go. At the very least I’ll get to hear a dope concert.

It’s a very weird situation, but I’d feel at least a bit disappointed in myself if I didn’t shoot a shot. I’m just not sure how that would work lol. Wanted to hopefully get some pointers on that so I know how to handle stuff like this in the future.

 

[SW15]

What you are experiencing is a common experience. There are plenty of men who would like to redeem themselves with some female from either high school or college. You're lucky that you feel this at 25. There are plenty of men in their 30s and 40s who are feeling this way about some female from high school or college 15-25 years ago. Men have been known to try to spark something up in these situations with social media DMs or even emails. In the past (probably up until some point in the 2000s), men would make random phone calls to these women from their pasts that they still desired based on something that happened in high school or college.

I've heard men say that you only get one shot with one specific woman in a lifetime. You might have had your only shot with this woman lifetime.

I would recommend moving forward and not looking back. Go to the concert if you really enjoy that music but don't bother to talk to her.

 

[2Rocky]

Nick, do you play? Perfect approach is to get together after the show at an "Afterparty" you host, and have a little jam session. if you can "salt" the party with wingmen or women that will suddenly have to go when you are making progress you are golden.

Second , the cold/warm approach after the show to go "grab a drink and catch up" . This best works if she is staying in town and it is a bit foreign to her. Tell her you know a great place to wind down after the show. This might require some prep work with a nearby lounge,bar, cafe, etc to have a quiet corner.

It is entirely possible she will be road weary if she is on tour and want to just sleep, but the post performance amped up feeling needs some wind down activity. Be aware of accompanying musicians, managers, and roadies who you might incorporate wingmen and women into. Hence the afterparty jam session. It could be as simple as the closing time pitch: "Hey I'm fixing Pancakes at my place! "

 

[KingTurbo]

In high school I was friends with this girl for a bit. Good girl.

I decided to date her for like a week. Stole her first kiss, I was her first BF. Then I just broke it off with her because I didn't feel it. She didn't have another guy the rest of her junior and senior years. I was it.

Now I am in my 30's and I regret doing that. It could have worked out. Don't even know what happened to her, she doesn't have social media. She just vanished.

 

[2Rocky]

In high school I was friends with this girl for a bit. Good girl.

I decided to date her for like a week. Stole her first kiss, I was her first BF. Then I just broke it off with her because I didn't feel it. She didn't have another guy the rest of her junior and senior years. I was it.

Now I am in my 30's and I regret doing that. It could have worked out. Don't even know what happened to her, she doesn't have social media. She just vanished.

and now she's on the radio....Taylor Swift is her name.....and all the songs are about YOU!

 

[bat soup]

The title is mostly a joke lol. But sometimes, I end up in these very specific situations and I like to make threads on them. Not only because it’s helpful for the situation, but it helps to deal with similar situations in the future.

And yes, I Cold Approach every weekend so it’s not actually Oneitis lol.

So there’s this girl that I went to college with, I saw her around the music building. Very cute. I have her on Snapchat, but that’s about it. That’s about as far as I got in my AFC days

We really didn’t talk like that, even though I wanted to. I just didn’t know how to at the time. I’m not even sure if she has a boyfriend now, tbh.

I’m browsing my college’s music page looking for concerts I can go to, and I see that this same girl is coming back to town and performing in a concert. I’m actually interested in the performance, and I haven’t seen her in ages.

I hit her up over Snapchat, and I plan to go. At the very least I’ll get to hear a dope concert.

It’s a very weird situation, but I’d feel at least a bit disappointed in myself if I didn’t shoot a shot. I’m just not sure how that would work lol. Wanted to hopefully get some pointers on that so I know how to handle stuff like this in the future.

Give it a shot but don't get your hopes up. Also, don't forget that as time passes women's looks decline.

I remember one skinny girl from school that i was crazy about back then had turned into a fatty by the age of 30. God knows what she looks like now.

 

[espanish]

your mindset. you need to reach a point where you don't care enough about an interaction with a girl as to come to a forum and post about it.
it should feel like a waste of your time.

 

[nicksaiz65]

What you are experiencing is a common experience. There are plenty of men who would like to redeem themselves with some female from either high school or college. You're lucky that you feel this at 25. There are plenty of men in their 30s and 40s who are feeling this way about some female from high school or college 15-25 years ago. Men have been known to try to spark something up in these situations with social media DMs or even emails. In the past (probably up until some point in the 2000s), men would make random phone calls to these women from their pasts that they still desired based on something that happened in high school or college.

I've heard men say that you only get one shot with one specific woman in a lifetime. You might have had your only shot with this woman lifetime.

I would recommend moving forward and not looking back. Go to the concert if you really enjoy that music but don't bother to talk to her.

One shot with one specific woman in a lifetime is a good way to think about it.

I do enjoy the music for sure. (It’s a classical concert, classical music is one of my hobbies.) I ended up not being able to go because of a pressing work deadline.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You just have to honest with yourself, you're going because you really enjoy that music, and its a passion of yours, or you just go there because you want to see her, hoping you talk to her.


This sounds like a covert contract, you hit her up because you're going hoping you can talk to her


This is a coping mechanism in case you don't get to talk to her, so in summary you sent her a message that you're going there, hoping you can see her and talk to her to redeem yourself from the past, but if it doesn't happen at least you got to see dope concert.

It’s a classical music concert, and classical music has been one of my hobbies for years. I truly would enjoy the music. I try to go to live performances whenever I can.

I ended up not being able to make the concert though because of a strenuous work deadline.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Nick, do you play? Perfect approach is to get together after the show at an "Afterparty" you host, and have a little jam session. if you can "salt" the party with wingmen or women that will suddenly have to go when you are making progress you are golden.

Second , the cold/warm approach after the show to go "grab a drink and catch up" . This best works if she is staying in town and it is a bit foreign to her. Tell her you know a great place to wind down after the show. This might require some prep work with a nearby lounge,bar, cafe, etc to have a quiet corner.

It is entirely possible she will be road weary if she is on tour and want to just sleep, but the post performance amped up feeling needs some wind down activity. Be aware of accompanying musicians, managers, and roadies who you might incorporate wingmen and women into. Hence the afterparty jam session. It could be as simple as the closing time pitch: "Hey I'm fixing Pancakes at my place! "

I ended up not making the concert lol but this is a good strategy to use in general. I may have to keep this in mind for new girls.

 

[nicksaiz65]

and now she's on the radio....Taylor Swift is her name.....and all the songs are about YOU!

With shows that sell out so fast that the website can’t even keep up lol

 

[nicksaiz65]

your mindset. you need to reach a point where you don't care enough about an interaction with a girl as to come to a forum and post about it.
it should feel like a waste of your time.

I agree that the abundance mentality is critical. I make posts on specific situations or failed situations so that when they come up again I know how to handle them.

 

[SW15]

I ended up not being able to go because of a pressing work deadline.

You got lucky with that.

 

[2Rocky]

I ended up not making the concert lol but this is a good strategy to use in general. I may have to keep this in mind for new girls.

I think I have mentioned the time I had a couple girls from my social circle ask ME to ask a performer if he wanted to meet for a beer at the dive bar down the street. Their reasoning was that I "Looked Legit". Believe it or not, he showed up at the bar, we played pool with the two girls and ended up at his hotel room. it really opened my eyes to the possibilities.

The jam session came from my experience doing a show for eight years with 4-6 performers. Each night after the show, the organizers would set up an after party at their home less than a mile from the venue with food and drinks. It was ripe for the picking since the mood was much more personal and small group intimate.