I need help with this one. It's been like it since high school days where I have so many things in my mind but I think too much about what other people will think of me and I just sit there quietly. I don't really lack self esteem all that much I guess it just became a habit where I just start feeling like I'm going to throw up with the thought of me having to speak in class. Maybe someone can share me something useful like how I should think, or how my mind set should be, give me advice on why I shouldn't care so much what other people will think or something. Should I picture them all naked like that one I read?..hehe..seriously though help your man out here!~
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
College class participation problem!
- Thread starter vagrant
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
lol i used to have the same problem...I felt like the people in my class were all on the same page and looked down upon me
it never matters what you say its all about how you say it...
for instance I was walking into class the other day and the teacher asks who isn't voting and i raised my hand as I slowly walked through the class I interupted and I could hear my classmates kinda laugh...
my i dont give a ****/crack jokes attitude can really break up a boring class
just don't get caught TRYING to impress everybody with your knowledge or insight cause its really annoying when people do that
it never matters what you say its all about how you say it...
for instance I was walking into class the other day and the teacher asks who isn't voting and i raised my hand as I slowly walked through the class I interupted and I could hear my classmates kinda laugh...
my i dont give a ****/crack jokes attitude can really break up a boring class
just don't get caught TRYING to impress everybody with your knowledge or insight cause its really annoying when people do that
WC2
Master Don Juan
I was always the quiet thinker back in high school. I knew all the answers, but saying something in front of everyone practically gave me a panic attack.vagrant said:I need help with this one. It's been like it since high school days where I have so many things in my mind but I think too much about what other people will think of me and I just sit there quietly. I don't really lack self esteem all that much I guess it just became a habit where I just start feeling like I'm going to throw up with the thought of me having to speak in class. Maybe someone can share me something useful like how I should think, or how my mind set should be, give me advice on why I shouldn't care so much what other people will think or something. Should I picture them all naked like that one I read?..hehe..seriously though help your man out here!~
Listen man, GET OVER IT. The longer you wait the tougher it's going to be. Say what's on your mind more often. Who cares if it's nonsense.. eventually you will filter out things you shouldn't say. First you must get over your insecurity to say what's on your mind. Get over the fact of what people think.
People are more concerned about what people think of them, as opposed to what they think of you. You can make a fool out of yourself and have everyone laughing at you, but you know what? - 2 minutes later people are back to thinking about themselves and how they can project themselves better.
Don't be one of those people!
Have confidence in what you say. Don't think twice about what you say/have said. Listen to others and listen to what they are saying!
I can't sit here and tell you it's going to be an easy process, because it simply isn't. It's going to be very gradual. But if you want to be more sociable, you WILL BE. You are what you think you are. The best of all is that once you get a hang of it.. the rest is downhill. Coming out of my shell is the best thing I ever did with my life. 5 years later, I'm damn proud to say I am me.
Read my thread from awhile ago I posted.. it's very similar to this -
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=106210
MooseGod
Master Don Juan
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DING DING DING!!! Where's my cookie?vagrant said:...Maybe someone can share me something useful like how I should think, or how my mind set should be...
Think for yourself. If other people think you're weird, they can go fvck themselves. If you want to be "normal," an entirely subjective term, then you can count on never having any kind of effect on this world and dying with a whimper after you live on the measly retirement from the 9 to 5 you busted your ass working at for most of your life.
I got the feeling you were talking about though, the self consciousness, anxiety, all that good stuff when I went to class baked everyday. The trick to overcoming this is to ask yourself "is there anybody here whose opinion I give a fvck about?"
I used to have this problem and I used to be quiet alot of the time.
This year ive started opening up.
Opening up to the fact that whenever I say something,I manage to ask such a goofy ass question that people look forward to whenever I put my hand up and Im about to speak.
If you are wanting to be more participal in a sense that you want to ask more questions to benefit your learning,I heard this once from a teacher.
"If you have a question that you dont understand,there is a very high percentage chance that atleast 1 or two people also dont understand it as well.So ask away."
So that is the mindset that used to get In but now it just comes naturally.I hope it helps
This year ive started opening up.
Opening up to the fact that whenever I say something,I manage to ask such a goofy ass question that people look forward to whenever I put my hand up and Im about to speak.
If you are wanting to be more participal in a sense that you want to ask more questions to benefit your learning,I heard this once from a teacher.
"If you have a question that you dont understand,there is a very high percentage chance that atleast 1 or two people also dont understand it as well.So ask away."
So that is the mindset that used to get In but now it just comes naturally.I hope it helps
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Take this advice. It has worked wonders for many people that I have come across.
Sit all the way in the front of the class. Yes, you read it right. All the way to the front. You should be two feet from the teacher. Then, when the teacher is looking for a question, you just give it. Since you are so close to the teacher, you won't have to speak up. The teacher will usually say something like, "good job/good answer", and that will boost your self-esteem/confidence. Keep at this technique and keep moving back a seat. By the end of the semester, I guarantee you'll be able to sit all the way in the back of the room, and roar out the answer.
Why does it work? Well, a) it has worked in the past b) by sitting all the way to the front you practically 'forget' about all the people sitting behind you because you can't see them c) you won't have to raise your volume and this way you can slowly build confidence.
Try it out. I guarantee it will work for you.
Sit all the way in the front of the class. Yes, you read it right. All the way to the front. You should be two feet from the teacher. Then, when the teacher is looking for a question, you just give it. Since you are so close to the teacher, you won't have to speak up. The teacher will usually say something like, "good job/good answer", and that will boost your self-esteem/confidence. Keep at this technique and keep moving back a seat. By the end of the semester, I guarantee you'll be able to sit all the way in the back of the room, and roar out the answer.
Why does it work? Well, a) it has worked in the past b) by sitting all the way to the front you practically 'forget' about all the people sitting behind you because you can't see them c) you won't have to raise your volume and this way you can slowly build confidence.
Try it out. I guarantee it will work for you.